Lullaby
by The Incredible Nameless Wonder
Summary: Miss Missa, prone to fits of apathy and embarrassment in equal parts decides a ride on the figurative merry-go-round will do her a more good than harm. When the curtain falls and she's left alone to look at the people behind the freaks -and the freaks behind the people-, she begins to wonder if there might actually be life on Mars.
1. Chapter One: Lovely Ladies

_**Lullaby**_

_**Chapter One: Lovely Ladies**_

_Snip. Snap. Snip. Snap._

Missa was struck by how similar high heels on wood sounded like scissors. If it weren't so dark, she thought she might've been afraid too. Either way, they made her legs look better than what God gave her, and that was enough.

She walked down the path, clacking and clicking like she had taps on soles of her platform shoes. Perhaps she _would _get those, if it meant she could sound like this forever.

The woman was at a carnival, a feast of far-away joy. It only made sense that her first few seconds of exposure would already have her thrilled. However, when she saw the outline of a devil's head against the dark, her steps faltered.

Her stomach was hardly very strong, and only last week her friend visited with horror stories of all kinds. What lay inside the tent was like a nightmare, but worse.

"_So much worse." _

Missa shook Lily's voice from her head and squared her shoulders. Her smile was bright as she relished in the noise of heels on old wood. She would have fun tonight, she promised herself.

Pausing a moment to look over the railing at the little river on either side, another thought struck her. How often she seemed to have those, and every single one rather strange. As she watched the murky bubbles rise to the surface, she wondered if she should take tap lessons to go with her shoes.

Tilting her head back, Missa giggled. She turned so her back was pressed against the railing. Her hands gripped the underside, unpainted nails digging into the soggy wood.

"You'll dirty your dress." Her head snapped to her left where a man and woman stood arm-in-arm. It was the woman who spoke, her mouth painted the same as her hat and dress. She looked rather smart, but her face was weathered, and no amount of makeup could hide it.

"I've got another at home, and another one, and another one after that..." Missa drawled, her tone lazy and flippant as she touched the black-and-white striped fabric of her skirt. She supposed the woman was right, there would be a stain across her back that wouldn't come out. Like the grass stains on her old blue frock that sat in the back of her cupboard, the brown streak would want to stick around.

While she was a bit more upset than she let on, Missa was glad to give her ancient yellow dress a friend. After all, she'd told the woman the truth. She _did _have another dress at home, more than another, actually.

"I like that one." The man, possibly the red woman's son, spoke up. Missa flashed him a friendly smile, placing her hands on her hips as she stepped away from the railing.

"Thank you, sir. I like it to." She replied, running a hand over her hair.

Her papa once said that black on red washed out her skin. Miss pretended she didn't hear and left her hair down for good measure. She liked her ginger hair, and she liked her open-backed black dress. She wore them both rather well, at least in her opinion.

"You should be more careful." Again the clipped, female voice broke up the night. Missa nearly rolled her eyes. Did this woman fancy herself mother to everyone? Missa certainly hoped not.

Instead of answering, she turned on her heel and walked towards the devil's head. She heard a second pair of platform shoes as well as a pair of loafers behind her. Somehow, it ruined the scissor noises.

"Have you two come to see the show?" She asked over her shoulder. She could almost _feel _the man's smile. However, it was the older woman who answered.

"Yes, my Dandy insisted." Missa paused, looking to the pair. The possessive pronouns took a backseat to the woman's possessive tone. It gave the young woman a chill quite unlike the one she got upon arrival at the path.

"I see. I've never been to anything like this." Missa admitted in a moment of submission. Conversation was building behind the elderly woman's mouth like water at a dam. The polite thing was not to talk to her, but to give the woman an opportunity to let it all out.

"Neither have we. Isn't that right, dearest?" Dandy nodded.

"You like strange things?" Missa asked him and he nodded. "Hm. Well, let's hope this makes you happy."

His mother chimed in with a hearty agreement as Missa continued to walk down the path. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the man untangle himself from his mother's arm and quicken his pace. He fell into step beside her and inwardly, Missa flinched.

"Have you come here alone?" He asked and it was her turn to nod.

"Papa didn't have the strength to make the drive." She replied. "His health's been in decline lately."

"What if you get scared?" At this, Missa smiled.

"I don't scare easily." That was a damn lie, but she doubted she could bare to reject him if she told the truth and was invited to sit with them. She came here to be alone and two socialites weren't about to ruin that.

Missa was rather terrified at the thought of staring at something different. She didn't think herself anything other than normal, but perhaps with a sizable lack of mental filter. The show could go one of two ways, and she didn't particularly like either of them.

If she had fun, she'd be back. If she hated everything about the experience, she wouldn't be. Either way, she lost. Forcing a smile again onto her face, she walked through the entrance.

The interior was smaller than she'd expected, packed nearly to the brim with stage equipment. At the far end was the stage, bordered by red and gold curlicues. Hiding the wings from view was a green curtain so worn and faded that Missa could see the mending in places. In fact, nearly everything felt worn here. It seemed to disgust the woman, but Missa and the man seemed to find it endearing.

The wood under her feet changed to slightly damp grass, but she didn't mind. Missa was too busy drinking in the partially-lit scene to care any more. She absent-mindedly sank into a wooden folding chair near the entrance, subconsciously delighting in the aged creaking sound. Missa was a slim thing, but she rather liked when things buckled slightly under her weight.

Crossing one leg over the other, she leaned back in her seat. It was dark at the back, something Missa was normally afraid of, but the freak show was really anything but. She adapted to fit the circumstances and did not move from her spot.

To her left, she heard Dandy and his mother engage in brief, uncomfortable chatter that ended in seats being changed. It was then that Missa decided they were both a bit daft.

"Where are the freaks?" The man snapped, making Missa turn her head. Had anyone but her and his mother heard that? She looked up at the rafters, hoping not. She didn't find anyone, freak or otherwise, and relaxed again.

Ignoring the further conversation between mother and son for the sake of her sanity, Missa sat up straight when she heard a clamoring from backstage. Faint yelling and shuffling reached her ears, setting her nerves on edge. The show was about to begin.

Her mouth fell open when a woman darted out from behind the curtain. She held the hand of a man who looked just like her. Both had oddly-shaped, nearly bald heads and bulbous noses. Missa bit her lip and looked away, choosing not to hear _anything _Dandy had to say about them.

With a loud thud, the lights were switched off. The theaters flooded with darkness as a single spotlight focused on the center of the curtain. Music Missa hadn't heard since childhood played in the background as a woman with her back to the audience addressed the crowd in a thick Baltimore accent.

Missa's mouth fell open again as the world of the freak show was revealed to her. The hostess soon turned, showing the meager audience her full beard before gesturing to the next oddity.

One after the other, they got their moment in the spotlight. A man in a bowler hat with an arm deformity, the strange twins that Missa saw before, and finally a man whose fingers were fused together, split at the middle.

Missa stared at him from under her lashes. He was a handsome man who held himself like he couldn't stand to be cast in the light the way he was. The others temporarily forgotten, Missa watched him. However, nothing could have prepared her for what came next.

The light moved across the stage, stopping on a woman, no, _two women. _Or at least their heads, as they appeared to share one body. It made the older woman gasp, but Missa could barely make a sound. She noted the dreamy smile on the lips of the right head, while the one on the left seemed blinded by the lights.

It was with the announcement of Elsa Mars that Missa's excitement was piqued. She watched with bated breath as the curtain parted and the German woman walked onto the stage. Her face was garishly painted, the most noticeable being her bright blue eyelids. Missa realized they matched her pantsuit as she began to sing.

The song is a strange one, and Missa barely remembered it when she finished. She seemed shaken to the young woman, even from the back. Her brow furrowed, Missa brought her hands together as if to clap, but could not bring herself to. The lights behind Elsa shut off, leaving the woman in similar darkness as Dandy slipped away from the audience. She stood when the lights came back on. Something pulled her towards the woman in red.

"Did you see where he went?" She asked when Missa was in earshot. All the woman could do was shake her head.

"He'll be back," Missa croaked after a moment, still slightly in shock. "He _did _seem very excited."

"Oh, he certainly was." His mother agreed. "Could barely keep his eyes off the hideous, two-headed-" she cut herself off as Dandy emerged from backstage, Elsa, the man with the strange hands and the sisters with one body in tow.

"My monster's are _not _prostitutes!" The German woman exclaimed. Missa did not miss the affection tone to the otherwise malicious name for Elsa's performers. There was respect, if nothing else, behind the word. Respect that was missing when she heard anyone else mention the show. Dandy explained to his mother that he'd found the freak he wanted to buy. His mother nodded, stepping in front of him. Missa noticed the way the woman's hand hovered over her pocket book as she told Elsa that she did not want to buy a freak for a night, but _permanently. _

"_What?_" Missa's voice rang through the tent. She blamed the lighting pieces, and a furious blush came to her face as everyone's eyes snapped her her. Missa sat back down, ducking her head.

All she could see in her mind as the three haggled prices was the right head's smile. It was perhaps the most beautiful thing Missa had ever seen. She hated how narrow the field to distinguish them was, but they were both so identical. It made Missa think of how she always wanted a sister, but not just any sister, a twin. She'd met a pair of them in high school and marveled at how inseparable they were. It was something about sharing a face, she supposed. Still, to be literally inseparable was far less appealing.

Jarred from her thoughts at the sound of movement near her, Missa nearly jumped from her seat as she saw the two nearly-bald twins from the show moving to fold up the chairs. She nodded to the one in pink before moving closer to the current conversation.

Missa stepped out of the way as the mother and son left the tent. Had she been more interested in what they thought, she would have glared at their backs. Instead, she stood dumbstruck. Elsa stared at her as if she expected her to speak, but when Missa did, it was to the sisters.

"What's your names?" She blurted before she could stop herself. From this distance, she noticed their different colored headbands. The one in blue smiled like she had on stage.

"I'm Bette." She said. It was too fast for Missa to catch, but she thought she heard a bit of an Alabama accent.

"Dot." The one in orange replied. Her voice was clipped and mistrusting. It did not put Missa on edge, however.

"What's your name?" Bette asked in turn, making the woman fumble for an answer.

"My papa called me Melissa, 'till I cut it down to Missa." She gave the two a slight smile. "I answer to both." Dot nodded like she was attempting to be polite. Biting her lip again, Missa gave them another grin when they said they'd like to be excused. Elsa followed shortly after.

"And, um, your name?" Missa asked when it was just her and the man. She ignored the twins scuttling behind her.

"Jimmy." He said. "Jimmy Darling. The two over there are Salty and Pepper." Missa looked over her shoulder at them.

"Oh, thank you." She clasped her hands behind her back in an attempt to keep from staring at his. "I just felt bad calling them left and right head in my, well, head. It felt wrong." Why she was explaining herself, she did not know. Jimmy's flashed her a smirk that she didn't fully understand.

"Didn't stop your from staring at them like they had four heads instead of just two." Missa's cheeks were on fire again.

"I-I didn't realize that-" He cut her off with an amused exhale.

"Look, don't worry about it. I don't think Bette noticed. In fact I'm pretty sure you made her night." Somehow, that didn't make Missa feel any better.

"Having their names asked shouldn't make someone's night." She muttered under her breath.

"He didn't." Jimmy pointed out, glancing to the entrance. Missa rolled her eyes.

"I thought he was disgusting." She scoffed. "And his mother equally so. I doubt I'll ever see them again, but between you and me, I think they're a bit touched in the head." Laughing at that, Missa let her eyes fall to his hands.

She swallowed hard. All night she'd been trying not to focus too much on a single oddity. Missa detested it when attention was on her, she didn't want to make anyone else feel the same. She placed her hand palm-up in front of him.

"May I?" She asked, her voice small. Jimmy's smirk faded and he looked away from her as he lifted his left hand and placed it on top of hers. The weight was uncomfortable and it settled in her stomach. She lifted her other hand with the intention of touching the top, but stopped before she could. If calling Dot and Bette by their head placements was wrong, than so was this.

Missa hooked her thumb over the back of his hand, lowering it until she no longer felt like she was pulling away from him. She let her arm fall to her side, taking a step backwards.

"I apologize. I had no right to ask." She said quietly. Jimmy shook his head.

"Nothing to be sorry about, Miss Missa." She shuffled her feet. "You have yourself a good evening." She nodded, taking that as her cue to leave.

The night air was cold when she emerged from the tent, and goosebumps blossomed on her skin. Her cheeks were still red and her mind a bit shaky, but she told herself she would walk to the field, alone, and see the show again.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Hello again, people! I've decided that I like Freak Show so much that I'd write a fic for it! Not sure if I'll follow the TV show or freestyle, but Missa's story is pretty much all planned out in my brain so I might deviate a lot, depending on how much the writing bug bites me! <strong>_

_**As for the rating, I'm keeping it at T despite the fact that the premiere episode made it explicitly clear that the show itself would be rated M. That said, graphic smutty scenes make me nervous, so I'm glossing over the sexual content while also not adding any of my own. **_

_**That said, ciao!**_


	2. Chapter Two: Powder-Blue Plastic Sky

_**Chapter Two: Powder-Blue Plastic Sky**_

Morning came on sunny wings. Missa, who came home muchlater than she intended, woke slowly to the faint memory of the smell of frying bacon. The time was gone and if she wanted breakfast, she'd have to make it for herself.

Her stomach sounded like a rusty chainsaw when it growled, but she just rolled over, throwing a pale arm across her eyes. When she opened them, she saw black smears across skin and was certain they were across her face as well. Mumbling something as her eyes began to sting, Missa sat up.

She didn't have to touch her hair to know it was tangled, she could practically feel each one. The artificial curls looked rather nice last night, she remembered thinking so, but were significantly less nice the following morning.

Ignoring her lavender slippers on the floor, Missa padded into the bathroom. Sure enough, her face was a mess. The hollows of her eyes were stained black from the mascara she'd forgotten to wash off. Her one-perfect pink lipstick was smeared up her cheek.

Grimacing at the sight, Missa picked up a dishtowel and twisted the tap behind the sink. Cold water soaked the fabric, chilling her hand and her face when the fabric touched underneath her eyes. Even when the black makeup was rubbed away, dark circles still persisted. It set the tone for that morning, Missa thought as she tried to scrub away the evidence of her late night.

Deciding it was pointless, she turned her attention to the rat's nest that was her hair. Bright ginger curls didn't look half as beautiful while a brush was being dragged through them. Missa bit her lip, noticing it was still stained a bit pink, despite her efforts.

Smearing cream under her eyes, Missa left the bathroom, shedding her nightgown as she went. Throwing the doors of her closet open, she stared at what could only be described as a collection of frocks and shoes. Deciding that Saturday would be a lazy one, she shrugged on a cream-colored blouse and circle skirt. Still refraining from footwear, Missa opened her bedroom door and headed for the stairs.

The kitchen was an explosion of powder-blue plastic chairs and white faux-wood. Every appliance that could be was garishly colored ceramic, right down to the toaster. Taking the package of pre-sliced bread, Missa popped two in the toaster before sauntering to the ice box. Carton of eggs and frying pan in hand, Missa returned to the stove.

She burned the toast twice, but managed to get the eggs right in one time, a significant improvement to the last time she tried making breakfast. Shuddering slightly at the thought, she put the eggs and toast on a plate before returning to the stairs.

Missa knocked twice on a bedroom door that was not hers before opening it with a careful hand. She smiled brightly as she entered the still-dark room and set the plate down on the coffee table before turning her attentions to the lighting. Tugging the curtains open, Missa grinned as she turned. Her father did not smile back with his mouth, but there was faint, ever-present adoration in his eyes as she gave him the food she'd prepared.

"Morning, papa. How've you been." She said, sitting on the end of his bed. Crossing her legs, she sat up straight, knowing he would remind her to do that if she failed to herself.

"No better since you asked me yesterday, Melissa. Say, have you seen my glasses?" He asked, making her giggle. She then grew serious and shook her head. He didn't seem pleased by that, but said nothing more about them. He didn't even ask her to help look.

"But at least you've got food." She reminded him, voice bright. He gave her a glare not intended to be scathing.

"Maybe, but it's not like you can cook." Missa rolled her eyes brushing her hair pack. He had it easy, her papa was lucky she wasn't negligent. True, she couldn't cook worth a damn, but the man could barely leave his bed to do it himself.

"Any plans for today?" He asked. Missa wondered what he wanted her to say. The man was anything but clear in his wishes. Did he want her to visit Lily? Did he want her to stay home and vacuum? She'd done both in the last week.

"Nothing yet, papa." She said. "I'll see if I can go with Lily to the diner if you'd like to be alone, or-" she was cut off by his sad sigh. Furrowing her brow, she fixed him with a confused look.

"You're turning twenty in a few weeks, Melissa." He said, his voice concerned instead of simply stern. Missa nodded, her shoulders sagging slightly. "And you're sitting at home taking care of an old man instead of taking care of yourself."

"Someone's got to do it." She said. "Besides, I don't mind. You took care of me once." She touched his shoulder, affection nearly oozing from her eyes. "I'm returning the favor because I love you." Her papa nodded.

"I know, but what will you do when I die? No husband, no education. Melissa..." he trailed off. Missa nearly rolled her eyes. Education, what education was there be had? Tuition aside, Missa told herself that if she was to spend a thousand dollars a year, it would be on something important. Not on a mock-degree in pie-baking and a husband.

"Papa, the only university I can go to is over two hours away." She said limply. He eyed her carefully.

"You can drive, Melissa. I was against it, but you can." He took her hand off of his shoulder, holding it. "Do something with your life, get yourself a husband and some children and forget about me." Missa pulled away, nodding in agreement. If it ended the conversation faster, she would do whatever he said.

As she took his plate and left, he said something else, but she could barely bother to hear him. In her mind, she knew she'd never let herself attend the joke that was the post-secondary education. For women, at least, it was laughable. They went to find husbands and did little else. The prospect made Missa feel ill.

She also knew that it would get her out of the house. The only thing freaky about last night's show was the fact that she'd left home to go see it. More often than not, Missa would do her hair and makeup and vacuum in high heels. When every inch of the house was spotless, she would turn on the television and watch a few programs looking like she was about to go out to dinner with her husband. She never did, though.

Missa knew they could afford to send her to school. Her father's pension had supported them comfortably for years. Money was no object, and anyone who had seen her allowance knew that was true. Even that made the young woman recoil. Once every two months her father would give her a hundred-and-fifty dollars to spend on whatever she liked. Subtly, he would hint at what he wanted her to buy. Fashion magazines would appear in odd places, as well as ads for cosmetics.

After he'd taken a tumble down the basement stairs, the flyers and advertisements slowed to a stop. In a way, she missed them. She missed knowing her papa wanted her to be happy and beautiful. The allowance itself made her queasy too, but Missa was _far_ too lazy to attempt to get a job. The only thing she supposed she could do was teach, and she detested children.

She glanced at the calendar, dreading the date. It was well into September now, and the time to register was coming to a close. Grumbling quietly to herself, Missa tied her hair back before pulling open a drawer. She dug around for a bit before finding the slip of paper she was looking for.

The only university within driving distance was Bethune-Cookman. Their 'woman's program' was one of the most expensive ones offered. And, she noticed with deep sadness, it was only part-time. She'd have the morning for classes and the afternoon to return to her plastic haven.

"Papa?" She knocked on his door an hour later. She forced herself to put her shoes on, and now stood a bit taller. In her hands was the paper and around her shoulders was her cream sweater.

"Come in, Melissa." He said from within the room and his daughter did. He noticed the university paper and smiled. "You'll register?" He asked and she nodded.

"There's not much time left, so I imagine I should. I thought I'd make the drive today, I just wanted to see if there was anything you needed." He shook his head.

"No, no. You go on, my dear. You won't regret this." Missa nodded, forcing a smile as she turned to go. Just before she closed the door, her father called out to her again. "Would you read the program you're joining out to me?" He asked. "I still can't find my damn glasses!"

Missa smirked at his frustration and lingered in the doorway, lifting the pamphlet so she could see the typed letters.

"Liberal and Domestic Arts for Women, program runs from the 25th of September to January 30th, that's first semester, papa, and then again from March 2nd to June 8th. Tuition is seven-hundred dollars per year, as well as a seventy-five dollar general admission. Books are fifty dollars as well." Missa flashed his a smile.

"When can I expect you home, Melissa?" He asked, likely thinking about how much a full-day maid would cost. Missa's smile fell as she looked to the paper. 'Half-day classes' was clearly printed in black ink, but she struggled to say it.

"I'll be gone all day, papa. I'm sorry." She said, feigning sadness in her voice.

* * *

><p>Missa had a nice car. Technically it was her father's but he hardly used it even when he could walk. The man hadn't had a job for nearly ten years, and was enjoying his retirement fully before the accident. It made Missa feel bad as she slid into the front seat, but only a bit.<p>

Was she truly going to do this? Occupy herself with trivial fantasies while the world around her continued to turn? She put the key in the ignition and recoiled when the engine roared to life. She felt like a dog, and the thousand dollars in her pocketbook was the leash. Missa pulled out of the black-painted drive, wincing at the sound of tires on asphalt.

She looked in her rear-view mirror at the house across the street. had it always looked to similar to hers? Right down to the white picket fence it was almost a carbon copy. Missa looked to her neighbors and to her horror found the same sight. She could barely keep her eyes on the road as she drove down the street. Row upon row in perfectly-placed ascending numbers was the exact same home. The only difference being who's name was printed on the mailbox.

The campus was due north, but Missa barely made it two blocks before reversing and heading off in the opposite direction.

"I will not go to school today, for it shall rain tomorrow." Missa said quietly, driving past her house.

She saw the field before she'd gotten near it. The daytime gave it a new green glow, at least in her mind, and every imperfection the night hid would be on display instead of the freaks.

Missa was stunned to find she was right as she parked the car and stepped outside. The wind blew in her hair, but even the fresh air couldn't save the run-down appearance of the show in the noonday sun.

_I see you_. She thought as she walked down the same path. She did not care for the scissor noise this time. Missa had a job to do, and had always believed in business before pleasure.

The inside of the tent had changed vastly from the night before. The curtain was down, making the stage seem like a bare skeleton of faded, dirty wood. Here and there, parts of the canopy overhead had been parted to let in the sun. Gathered around were faces new and old. Some Missa had seen the night before, others were brand new.

Elsa sat at the piano, but soon turned, glaring hard at the woman. She looked much less intimidating when her makeup was not in stark contrast with her skin tone. She was older than Missa by a significant number of years, but no so old as the woman in red from the night before. That said, her sharp look still made Missa flinch.

"Back so soon?" She asked, her voice cutting through the chatter. Anyone who had failed to notice her soon did, making her flush again. Quickly, she nodded. Elsa looked to Jimmy, whom Missa noticed was sitting nearby.

"'Fraid you're early." He explained. "_Way _early." Missa nodded.

"I-I meant to be." She stuttered, wishing that she could get her words straight just _once_. "I've got a deal, a-a business one if you'd like to hear it." Missa said. Elsa placed her hands on the empty space of the piano stool on either side of her. She turned her body until she was facing the young woman.

"Very well." Chuckling, Elsa reached into the pocket of her robe and pulled out a box of cigarettes. Placing one between her lips and lighting it, she took a drag. "Break for five minutes." She began, her voice loud. Everyone moved away from Missa except for Elsa and Jimmy. Out of the corner of her eye, Missa saw Bette and Dot standing by a pillar. The young woman gave them a small smile. "Let's see what Miss Missa has to say."

Missa nodded, her hand hovering over her pocketbook much the way the other woman had done so the night before. Her intentions, however, were not to split their family.

"I have here seven-hundred and seventy-five dollars," she began. "It's yours if you let me sit right there," Missa pointed to the spot she'd occupied near the back the previous night, "and watch whatever the hell you do." She looked back to Elsa. "Everyday for less than a year. If you stay in town long enough, I'll pay you the same amount come next fall."

Elsa sat forward, a bemused smile on her face. Jimmy had clenched his jaw so tight Missa thought his teeth would break. Sheepishly, Missa smiled back at the German woman.

"So, my dear," Elsa said. Missa looked to Bette and Dot, both had unusual looks on their identical faces. "You've run away to the circus?"

* * *

><p><strong><em>Ignore the fact I'm updating so quickly, I just got the urge to write so badly! And the response has been really great so far! I love every review I get and I love how some people are already guessing the pairing! I'll say no more about it, but I wish I could! Still, can't ruin the surprise! Thanks to all who've alerted and favorited, I hope this chapter is alright!<em>**


	3. Chapter Three: American Shadows

_**Chapter Three: American Shadows**_

The chair beneath her was comfortably familiar as Missa sat down. She pretended she didn't notice Jimmy's hand on Elsa's shoulder, or how dumb-struck the man looked. Over seven-hundred dollars was quite a bit of money, but he looked positively shaken by the deal.

He led the older woman away from Missa, speaking to her in a hushed tone. The words of which did not seem to register to the German woman, at least not fully. The young woman folded her hands in her lap and wished she knew what either of them were thinking. She doubted Jimmy meant to look so distressed, but the second he and Elsa were out of earshot, he dropped the cracking mask on his face.

Missa didn't like how he grit his teeth, or how he looked up at the worst possible moment. He glared at her as she dropped her eyes, shrinking a bit. He went back to speaking, but his voice was softer.

She wanted to say something, because she doubted they would let her stay on by money alone. These people did not live by society's rules, and she was certain they had plenty to hide. Missa looked over at Bette and Dot again.

Missa gestured for them to come sit with her. She didn't like sitting alone with everyone staring at her. It was a moment before one surrendered to the others wishes and walked towards her. Their unusual looks persisted as they came closer. Bette's smile was like sunshine through a glass window, pretty but void of the previous warmth. Dot's face was a blank slate, on which she painted joyful surprise. Missa knew both of them were hardly overjoyed at her business proposition, but she did not want to know why.

The two were so different. One seemingly unapproachable, the other open to the world. They were refreshing, Missa liked them. If they were not all they seemed, she wouldn't care to know more.

"Good morning, Missa." Bette greeted when they were a few feet from her. The young woman nodded, a smiling lighting her face as she tapped the seat nearest to her. Dot returned her smile, but it was clipped around the edges.

"Likewise." Missa tilted her head a bit, eying them both. "Your hair," she began, "it looks quite nice today."

"It's the same as last night." Dot pointed out, her voice flat.

"Yes, but I didn't get a chance to say it then, did I? Besides, I like how you wear it straight. All my friends _insist _that curls are the _only _way I can wear mine." Missa laughed, but the lull in conversation that followed soon became awkward.

"I'm glad you're wanting to watch us rehearse." Bette said, shattering the stillness with her dream-like voice. "People usually walk out of the field and then don't come back." Missa shook her head.

"I tried, but something called me back. I'm happy to be a patron of the arts, even if the art is a bit strange." She looked to the roof of them tent, a small smile on her face. Everywhere she looked there was something amazing to see.

To her left was a woman without the lower half of her body. Missa's mouth fell open a bit, but she had to admire her upper arm strength. The young woman could barely push a vacuum as it were. To her night, standing on a table was perhaps the smallest woman she had ever seen. Missa thought she looked rather pretty in her pink dress, but made no attempt to tell her so.

Temporarily overcome with embarrassment, Missa had to wonder just _what _she was doing. She was helping to fund a freak show instead of getting an education, and the worst thing that could possibly happen to her, she thought, was not fitting in.

Turning back to the sisters, Missa gave them a smile like weak tea with too much sugar.

"Even so, I'm excited. I liked last night very much, even if that cow in the red dress wanted to spoil my mood." Dot looked annoyed at even the mention of the pair from the previous night.

"I didn't like her son one bit either." Bette said. "The show's our home now, and I don't think he understands that." Dot nodded in agreement.

"I don't think he _could _understand it anyway, Bette." She said. "Boy's got his head so high up in the clouds, it's a wonder he doesn't get stuck." Missa giggled, brushing her hair behind her ears.

"So glad you three are getting along." Missa looked just behind Bette and Dot, surprised by the person who spoke. Elsa stood with one hand on her hip, Jimmy beside her. He wasn't scowling, but he did not look pleased.

"I take it you've made a decision?" Missa asked and Elsa nodded. Bette and Dot stood, letting the singer take their place.

"Jimmy and I have discussed your offer in great detail," she began, "but before we are to accept, there are rules." Missa nodded. She knew there would be.

"I'm listening." She said, flashing a smile.

"One, you are not allowed anywhere in the show without a guide." Missa nodded, but noticed that when Elsa said 'guide', she truly meant 'chaperone'.

"Two," Missa looked to Jimmy. "How we run our show is our business. We've got our own secrets on the mechanics backstage. It's not like there's much competition, but try to keep 'em safe." Again, Missa nodded. She could care less how they did things behind the scenes, all she asked for was an escape.

His earlier expression made her uncomfortable. She assumed that he'd forgiven her for ogling his deformity the night before, but she wondered if she truly had been. A wave of guilt passed over her as she pondered. Seven-hundred dollars _was _a lot of money, money that Missa knew they needed. Did he dislike her for knowing that? Somehow, it made her smile falter. She wanted the man to like her, she wanted Dot to like her.

Missa looked at Elsa, who's beaming face had a shadow just underneath her makeup. It made the young woman wary, but she realized she wanted the German to like her too.

"It's all safe with me." Missa replied, her tone light. She didn't think there was anyone to betray them to, but they'd opened a world so unlike the one she'd known, they'd given her an escape hatch. If there _was _someone out to get any of them, she would be the last to aid in their demise.

Missa grinned at Bette and Dot, attempting to gloss over her previous discomfort. There was something wrong with this freak show, but then again, there was something wrong everywhere she went. Post-secondary education was wrong, offering to buy two girls like cattle because they shared a body was wrong. Missa wondered if there could be anything right, and then decided that her spot near the back of the tent felt right, and everything she'd seen the night before was so painfully and evocatively _right. _

"Good." Elsa gave her another smile. Missa briefly wondered if it would be a good idea to tell them why she wanted to spend her money on watching them. She certainly intended to keep their secrets, but knew she needed to prove herself. In a similar way, they needed to prove themselves to her before she surrendered everything.

"I've never been a patron before," Missa admitted. "I doubt I'll have much to say anyway. I just need a bit of an escape. At this, Elsa nodded. Her smile, while still bright, dulled a bit as she patted Missa's knee.

"And that, my dear, is what we are here for. I accept your proposal." She stood, allowing Bette and Dot to sit down. The twins, however, did not. They floated towards the stage, Bette casting a smile in Missa's direction. Missa looked to Jimmy, who lingered with that same expression, as if he did not fully agree with Elsa.

After a moment, he sighed and sat down next to her. She gave him a smile, hoping she did not appear as nervous as she felt. He did not smile back. Thoroughly embarrassed, Missa focused on the rehearsal.

Bette and Dot looked lovely in a dress more suited for the type of show Elsa wanted to preform. Missa got the gist of it the night before, what with the show-stopping song. At least she was not attempting to have all the spotlight to herself.

During the last show, the sisters merely stood there while the stunned audience of three attempted to understand what they were seeing. Elsa, however, expressed interest in finding their talents and sat back at the piano.

Missa stayed silent as the German woman practiced for the show next week. Missa heard her tell the bearded woman that no one had bought any tickets until then. It made Missa a bit sad, but not terribly surprised.

"I've never seen anything like them before." Missa whispered to Jimmy halfway through the rehearsal of the acrobats. He mumbled something she did not hear.

Under different circumstances, she would have closed her mouth, but she found herself quite taken with the act.

"Look at them, Jimmy." She said, not fully intending him to hear. "How can they do that with their backs? And aren't they afraid of-" Missa shut her mouth so quickly her teeth clicked when he cut her off.

"I've _seen it._" He said. "_Hundreds of times._" Missa folded her hands in her lap and dropped her gaze to the floor.

"That doesn't make it any less beautiful." She muttered under her breath. Missa spared a glance at him out of the corner of her green eyes. Jimmy was staring at her like _she _was the freak. It made her stomach drop a bit, and she did not look at him again.

An hour passed while the troupe rehearsed. As much as Missa enjoyed it, she could not help but feel like she did not belong. These people were not co-workers, they were a family. Missa looked to Bette and Dot, who did not seem out of place at all. It was then she realized this was a family she was intruding upon.

The sisters moved in quickly when it was Jimmy's turn to preform. They took their seat near her again and Missa wasted no time in telling them how wonderful they looked.

"Elsa's philosophy is quite agreeable." Bette said, taking Dot's hand and folding it in her lap.

"And what's that?" Missa asked. Dot rolled her eyes and answered for her sister.

"The bigger the star, the bigger the tent. It's easily adjusted to a whole manner of things. In our case, the more important the act, the nicer the dress." Missa smiled, even if Dot had not intended to be funny. Her personality was callous and harsh at a distance, but much like Missa's papa. He could be warm, but preferred not to. Dot didn't seem to think anyone would be kind to her in turn.

"Would you look at that." Bette muttered as the lights were switched off. The daylight had faded some time ago, but Missa told herself she wouldn't leave until she saw what Jimmy could do.

"You've seen him do... what exactly is his act?" Missa asked but Dot shushed her.

Missa watched in fascination as a screen was lowered. From somewhere above her, she thought she saw Jimmy's silhouette, but soon forgot. Her mouth fell open when she saw a shadow on the screen. It took her a few moments before realizing that he was using his hands to make the animal shadows. She watched the strange play with an open mouth and a furrowed brow, hardly paying attention to the story.

She barely noticed Elsa sit down on her other side until the woman spoke. When she did, Missa gasped.

"Incredible, don't you think?" She asked. Missa, still startled, paused a moment before nodding.

"Yes, it's beautiful." Missa craned her neck, trying to see where Jimmy was preforming from.

"You're not going to find him. I picked up that little trick when I was touring in Paris. I saw a show at a little theater putting on _les ombres françaises_." Upon noticing the look of confusion on Missa's face, Elsa gave her a sympathetic smile. "You do not speak French?"

"Just bits from high school." Missa admitted. "Words for pen, chair and other simple phrases." Elsa nodded.

"It means French shadows, and now they are American." Missa couldn't help the dreamy smile that pulled on the corners of her lips. She wasn't really listening to Elsa either, as rude as she knew it was. Still, Missa doubted she noticed. If she did, she didn't care.

Missa attempted to be subtle as she looked to the rafters again. Elsa said she would never find him, but that only made her look harder. After several minutes of searching with her eyes, careful not to alert anyone, she saw him.

He was tucked into the back behind the wooden pillars. An expert location that she missed several times. The light was shining in his face, illuminating the stern look. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought he looked cross. Part of her wondered if he was, if he even liked working in the show. Her eyes fell back to the screen and to the shadows of his hands. She realized he acted through them, just as he did onstage.

Missa didn't look back at him, she didn't need to. He looked uncomfortable in the spotlight, no matter where it was aimed.

* * *

><p>She was smiling when she opened her front door. So excited was she to go see the rehearsal the next morning that she barely noticed her living room light was on until she'd entered the house. Her father never left his room, and she never left the lights on when she went out. Perhaps it was stupid of her to be so careless, but the eventful and successful day had disarmed her.<p>

"Oh, Lilly!" She exclaimed when she looked into her living room and saw the lady sitting there. "You startled me!" Her friend smiled with her red-painted lips, looking perfect in every way. The newly-wed glow had faded from her skin since her marriage nearly two years ago, but Lily was still radiant.

At barely twenty-one, Lily married a businessman by the name of John Hale. In a way, she represented everything Missa did not want to be.

"God, Mel, I'm sorry!" The chestnut-haired woman replied. Her eyes, however, were sparkling as she stood up. "I let myself in. Did you forget to lock the door?" Missa paused, biting her lip in thought.

"I could have swore I locked it. Maybe I left it open for the milkman. He's been good enough to bring it straight to the kitchen. My papa's not able to get it from the door any more." Lily's eyes were sad, but she still smiled at her.

"I _just _finished speaking with him." She said. "He's strong, Mel. He'll be alright." Missa exhaled.

"Don't tell me he talked your ear off!" Missa mock-wailed. Lily giggled and shook her head slowly.

"Only a bit, but I really don't mind. He must get so lonely cooped up in his room. _And _now that you're a university girl!" Missa blushed and gave a disbelieving laugh.

"He told you about that?" Lily nodded, looking proud.

"Wouldn't stop, actually. He's hoping you'll meet a nice boy. Oh, Mel, wouldn't that be wonderful? I could be your bridesmaid and _finally _return the favor!" Inwardly, Missa cringed. Of course that would be the thought on Lily's mind. Somehow, she was almost disappointed, but hardly surprised.

"We'll see." She replied, deciding the more cryptic the answer, the better. "Have you been here long?" Lily shook her head again.

"Only an hour. I came to invite you to Myrna's tupperware party!" It was a battle to keep the smile on her face, but somehow Missa managed.

"Oh. Wasn't there one last week?" She had difficulty remembering the parties she'd _attended_, much less passed up on.

"That was Mary-Lou's. It was _such _a success that Myrna decided to hop on the bandwagon!" Lily was positively giddy with excitement. Missa wished she was that happy too. "So, Mell, will you come?" Lily fixed her with a pleading look. Missa bit her lip, knowing she wouldn't have any reason to excuse herself this time.

"Well, I _am _running out of tupperware." Her friend beamed, taking her arm and steering her towards the sofa.

"I'm so glad! Tomorrow, after church at six is when Myrna said it will be. You'll have _such _a good time, trust me." Missa furrowed her brow. Tupperware parties were hardly that interesting. _  
><em>

"Really, Lily? Are you confusing this with lunch in Florence?" Giggling, Lily bit her lip. She looked like she was hiding something.

"I won't spoil the surprise, Mel." She said. "But it will be the best party you've ever been to." Missa nodded, mostly out of confusion. Lily was acting strangely and was quite relieved when she said she had to go.

With a quick wave and a smile over her shoulder, Lily walked back to her house down the street. Missa sat on the sofa for a long time afterward, wondering if she'd know this would be the best party. She had nothing to compare it to.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Woo, new chapter! I blame Missa, she was shouting at me in my head since Wednesday and she's rather happy I'm not ignoring her! Anyway, I hope all of you like this story, and keep up with the reviews! I'm actually really surprised how many people are interested in this! I'm pretty much web-hugging all the anon reviewers because they're so stupidly nice! Again, anyway, have an awesome day and I'll see you soon with another update!<em>**


	4. Chapter Four: The Elephant in the Room

_**Chapter Four: The Elephant in the Room**_

Her crinoline chaffed her thighs as Missa dug into the kitchen cabinet with a quiet passion. She never went anywhere near the university, and the fifty dollars was still unspent in her pocketbook. Missa forgot to buy books that day and told her papa not an hour ago that they would be delivered before the week was out.

_Why a week? _She hissed in her mind. _Why not two weeks or even three?_ Missa grumbled, crossing her legs a different way. She liked wearing her frocks, but the mesh underskirt was murder on her skin.

"Here we are." Missa whispered to herself as she pulled out a thick book from the back of the cabinet. Flinching, she looked to the roof above her head. She knew her papa had gone to sleep already, but still felt paranoia settle on her shoulders like an expensive wrap that wasn't worth the stress of paying off.

She set the heavy thing in her lap, running a hand over the cover. It was a dusty and worn cookbook, but nearly unrecognizable to herself or her papa. It would be too easy to pass this off as her text book. If anything, she knew her papa would be pleased.

Using the counter as leverage, Missa rose from the ground. Holding the book in one arm and closing the cabinet with her other hand, she flicked the kitchen light off and left the room.

She was careful to stay silent as she climbed the stairs. Out of habit, one hand clutched the railing in a death grip. If she closed her eyes, she could still see her papa lying in a heap at the foot of the steps. Missa gripped the wood a bit tighter, digging her nails into it. She would not fall. She would _not_.

When Missa was safe in her room, she took a pencil from her desk before sitting down. Running a finger over the cover once more, she opened the book. On the inside flap, she made to write her name, but something stopped her.

_'Property of Anne Reed.' _

Missa almost shut the book. Instead, she stared at the name while her stomach dropped. Even if her father never mentioned it, she knew it by heart. The book had been her mama's.

Gritting her teeth, Missa rubbed out the name and replaced it with her own. Only when _'Property of Melissa Reed' _was written in her neatest handwriting did she feel comfortable with closing it. Sighing, she stood again and hid the book in the back of her cupboard.

She stared at the closed doors for a bit from her perch on the bed. When she finally turned the light off again, it was another late night for Missa. However, just because she was lying down didn't mean she was going to sleep. In fact, her mind was racing.

Today had easily been the best day of her life. Not everyone had been friendly, and she'd gotten more than a few stares, but she greatly enjoyed her time with Dot and Bette. It had been a long time since Missa thought about her parents, but she couldn't help but wonder if the sister's had any.

Missa wanted them to be as kind as their daughters. She wanted their childhood to have been a good one. Rolling over, Missa rubbed her eyes. She couldn't help but think of Dot, who's coldness could not have been bred by a happy home. Even Bette's cheerful optimism, while in stark contrast to her twin's bitter personality, seemed more naïve than simply cheerful. The woman certainly was that, however. She was happy and her smile was like a breath of fresh air amidst all the glares.

Missa bit her lip so hard she nearly cried out when she asked herself how many times she thought Bette and Dot went outside when they were little. Dot's negativity and Bette's blind hope painted a painful picture for Missa the longer she lay awake.

Deciding it was not helping either of them to think about it, she allowed herself to drift off to sleep.

* * *

><p>"You each control an arm?" Missa asked the two the following day. Dot nodded, lifting her left arm and wiggling her fingers. Bette did the same. Missa let out a low whistle. "So everything you do has to be in perfect synchronization?" They nodded.<p>

"That doesn't mean she makes it easy, though." Bette said, looking at Dot with a teasing smile. Her twin scowled.

"If _anything_, Bette's the one who never listens. It's a damn chore trying to compromise with her." Missa shook her head, the smile on her lips obvious.

"You're like night and day, aren't you?" She asked. "Not that either one of you's particularly dark..." The woman added as an afterthought. She didn't want to offend either one.

"I could certainly point which one if you can't see it." Bette said, her voice sharp but still holding its good nature. Grinning, Missa patted Dot's shoulder.

"That's not necessary." Her smile fell, however, when Dot flinched and moved her shoulder away from Missa's hand. "I'm sorry." She said softly. "I should've asked first." Flushing, Missa looked away while Bette snapped something at her sister for being rude. Dot, however wasn't listening.

Much like Jimmy had, she was staring as Missa like she'd stolen her wallet. The stony look on her face, Missa thought when she finally did look at her, could've masked surprise.

The attentions of all three were called away as Elsa let out the last note to her song. Missa clapped politely, pretending she had been listening. In truth, she'd been engaged in conversation with the sisters for the duration of her performance. If anything, Missa was simply glad her little mistake was forgotten.

"She sings the strangest things." Missa said, looking at the sisters from the corner of her eye. "But I did like the one about life on Mars." She admitted. Dot made a face.

"It sounded like nonsense to me." She commented. Missa cocked her head to the side and looked to Bette, silently asking for her thoughts.

"I bet it meant something important," she said, "but I like the simpler songs. If they're in movies, even better." At that, Missa cracked a wide smile.

"I don't get to the movies much, but I when I was just a small thing, my papa let me watch The Wizard of Oz so many times I have all the words to all the songs stored right up here." Missa pointed to her head. Bette's returned smile was infectious, with Dot as the only exemption.

"I like all kinds of movies, but I've only been to the theater a handful of times." Her face fell, giving Missa pause.

"Why didn't you say so earlier?" She asked, her voice purposely brighter. "I'll take you some time. We'll go see something with lots of songs." That strange look reappeared on Dot's face, but Bette was all smiles.

"You mean it?" She asked. Dot cut her off.

"We can't." Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard. It didn't make Missa angry, only concerned.

"And why not?" Missa replied. "What do you two think drive-ins are for?" In actual fact, Missa doubted she'd be alive for very long if her papa found out she'd been anywhere _near _a drive-in. Still, if it meant she'd see Bette smile like that again, she'd put him in the backseat and take him with them.

"I've never been to one of those." Dot said quietly. Missa was careful not to get lost in her excitement again. She kept her hands firmly in her lap.

"I'd take you tonight if I didn't already agree to go to that _stupid _party." Missa grumbled. "It means I'll have to ask papa for money. And for what? To buy tupperware of all things!" Her voice rose in a pitch a bit, but Missa caught herself and kept her voice down after that.

"You don't like your papa?" Bette asked and Missa shook her head.

"I don't like him, Bette. I love him. I love him and his narrow-minded ways because if I don't, who will?" Shrugging, Missa sighed. "He doesn't even know I'm here right now. He thinks I'm off getting myself a man and learning how to fry eggs." At their confused faces, Missa shook her head. "That's a story for another day, girls. But I'll tell you, I promise."

The two were called away to rehearse shortly after. Bette waved goodbye while Dot didn't seem to want to bother. Missa didn't mind, in fact she'd grown quite used to it. She watched them as they walked away, and stared at their feet. They walked like a person who had control over both of their limbs. Left and right, they were perfectly in synch.

_Suburban camouflage. _Missa thought. They were learning how to blend in to society and hide what they could. Missa's eyes flicked up to the back of their heads. The two could try to hide all they wanted to about themselves, but there would always be the elephant in the room. Somehow, Missa doubted they cared.

* * *

><p>Myrna answered the door in what was possibly the loveliest pink dress Missa had ever seen. While she thought the woman looked better in yellow, the applique on the skirt was simply gorgeous. Missa began to say the apology she'd rehearsed, but the young woman insisted it was fine.<p>

Rehearsal had gone on longer than Missa had expected. Before she'd realized it, the clock struck eight and she had missed two hours of the party. Myrna smiled and Missa knew something was wrong almost instantly.

Myrna was only a few years older than Missa, but had the habit of looking _much _younger. She apparently was married immediately upon graduation from high school and plenty were jealous of her near-flawless skin.

While Missa had to slave every morning, armed with concealer and foundation, the Myrna she knew barely had to try. However, when the door opened, Missa was greeted by red lips and pink cheeks. Her face was chalky and made-up more than anyone else in the room.

_Like she's trying to look older._ Missa thought as she forced a grin. Once inside the house, which was nearly packed with frock-and-high-heel-clad housewives, Missa felt her anxiety mount. As quickly as she could, she rid herself of her light sweater. As warm as the Jupiter night was, she still felt a chill. Not in the living room, however.

Missa gave a relieved sigh when her eyes fell on the food. While it was true that she was there at the request of Lily, she could never say no to anything cooked properly. Helping herself to a sandwich, she sat down on the loveseat and tucked her knees in.

A group of women were in the kitchen, giggling to themselves and chatting animatedly. Missa felt a bit lonely in her corner, but made no move to join the conversation. She belonged near the back, where no one bothered her. At least she had Lily. Missa's eyes searched the small crowd, looking for her only friend. She was, however, nowhere to be seen.

Furrowing her brow, Missa gave a frustrated sigh. She was happy to stuff herself into a small, dark space and wait out the dull party. She might've even forked over a bit of cash if Lily could convince her. But her friend and sub-sequential lifeline did not appear to be showing. Rolling her eyes, Missa stood.

She made her way over to the gaggle of cackling women, trying in vain to keep her posture straight. Her mood sunk a considerable amount upon realizing she would have to interrupt their conversation in order to get the information she needed.

"And so I said to the baker-" one woman with bottle-blonde hair began. Grimacing, Missa tapped her on the shoulder.

"Sorry to interrupt but I-" she gasped when the woman snaked a hand around her shoulder, pulling her into the circle.

"Oh, Melissa, we were hoping you would show!" One of them exclaimed.

"Are you having fun?" Another asked and she had no choice but to laugh. At this, uproarious laughter sounded throughout the room. Missa didn't quite understand, and the arm around her was getting too tight.

"You don't know the _half _of it." Missa recognized the voice and turned to see Lily standing there. Her neat curls were slightly mussed, but she looked as put together as ever. The conversation lulled and the noise quieted. Missa was freed from the woman's grip, only to be captured by her friend, who took her hand and pulled her off to the side.

She was giggling like she'd had too much wine at Christmas dinner. It made Missa a bit uncomfortable. Her hand moved to rest on her shoulder, like Lily had something very important to say.

Instead, she erupted into another fit of giggles. Missa's annoyance reached its pique and she seized her friend by her wrists and gave her a gentle shake. This seemed to pull her out of her fog and sober her enough to form words.

"Oh my goodness." She said, a bit breathless from her laughter. "Oh my goodness, Missa, you _have _to go down there." Missa's confused look seemed to fly over Lily's head.

"Go down where?" She asked, hoping that her friend would realize she was completely lost.

"The basement!" Lily hissed. "You have to go down there. It was the best I'd ever had! Thoroughly disturbed, Missa shook her head.

"Are you insane?" She asked. "What's wrong with you? Who -or what- is 'it'?" Rather than answer, Lily pulled her wrists away and linked her arm through Missa's.

"Come on." She said, but Missa wouldn't budge. "Oh come _on, _Mel! It doesn't bite, it even told me so!"

"I don't even know what 'it' is! Would you just let go of me-" Lily shushed her and pulled her along. Whatever Missa was in for, her friend was excited.

The basement door came into view and Missa was nearly clawing at her friends arm. She didn't know what on earth was happening, and nothing scared her more. Myrna came into view as well, a smile on her face unlike the friendly one she'd given earlier.

"Is she...?" Myrna trialed off when Lily nodded. "And does she..." At this, Lily shook her head. Myrna's face darkened, but not for very long. "I'm sure you'll be fine." In Missa's hand, she pressed a roll of folded bills. "Give this to it, won't you?" Myrna asked. Nearly stunned into silence, Missa was barely able to nod before the petite woman walked away.

"Have fun." Was the last thing Lily said to her as she opened the basement door. Missa was not exactly shoved, but it felt like it as she stumbled down the basement stairs. The door shut behind her.

She swallowed hand, clutching the money. He stomach sank with every step as she walked down the stairs. The basement was hardly a challenge to navigate, and that was what concerned her.

Missa came to yet another door, and saw a dim light coming from underneath the crack. Mouth falling open, she knocked lightly on the wood. When she received no response, she twisted the knob and opened the door.

There was a bed pushed up against the wall, along with a dresser and a small mirror in the corner. The light came from the old lamp on the end table. The layout of the room came to Missa afterward, however, as she was struck by the sight of a man with his back to her.

"I-I-" Missa stuttered, but the words died in her throat when the man turned around. Her already slack jaw dropped like an unhinged basket as she struggled to form words. Eventually, she settled for, "Oh my God."

* * *

><p><strong><em>The cliff hanger is a subtle art that I have not mastered, so I'm sorry! A new update will happen very soon, just like this one was because I can't get Missa, Jimmy, Bette and Dot to shut up for one second! Ugh. <em>**

**_Anyway, I think now's a good time to address the elephant in the room which is the pairing this fic will be. I think now's a good time to say that there is no pairing. I'm still learning about Missa and about what she likes and dislikes. So while I'm not saying there won't eventually be a bit of romance, it's going to take a backseat. That said, I'm flip-flopping between Missa/Jimmy and Missa/Dot. _**

**_Have an awesome day, guys and dolls!_**


	5. Chapter Five: Love All, Trust Few

_**Chapter Five: Love All, Trust Few**_

"Does your husband know you spend your time with freaks?" Missa recoiled and pressed her back against the door. The confrontation had been awkward at best, and the temporary muteness following her exclamation made her stomach turn. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping Jimmy would stop talking.

He did, but she didn't want to return to reality. As far as she was concerned, Missa led two lives. One where she went to dinner parties and shopped with Lily. The other where she sat with Bette and Dot and listened to Elsa sing.

Her current situation was one that was unfavorable at best. It was a merging of both of her worlds, and it made for a potential explosion. Missa's breaths were shallow as she tried to think clearly. Whatever Jimmy had done to Lily, Myrna, and apparently anyone else upstairs would _not _be happening to her.

However, when one hires a prostitute -Missa shuddered and refused to look at Jimmy when she thought that- one begins to get suspicious when the services are refused by a guest. A flush blooming on her cheeks, Missa opened her eyes.

Jimmy was looking at her in confusion, but Missa was too embarrassed to explain. Instead she heaved a sigh and slid down the door.

"I don't have a husband." She mumbled. "But they-" Missa cut herself off, gasping and standing as quickly and she could. Slamming the money down on the small table by the door, her face contorted into rage as quickly as it had shock. "She-she-" crisis forgotten, if only for a moment, Missa walked further into the room.

She paced back and forth as Jimmy stared at her. If he didn't think she was completely insane before, Missa was certain he did now. Overcome with a plethora of negative emotions, Missa glared at him before pointing at the ceiling.

"She-_they_, called you '_it'_!" Missa was seething as she went to lean against the wall. "And _you_," Missa began, hoping that she could keep her voice down in her solitary catastrophe. "_What_ are you _doing here_?!"

Jimmy shrugged and lifted his left hand. A smirk tugged on his lip, but it was like plastic. Missa rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest.

"That's disgusting." She said. "No, _they're _disgusting!" Her mind went to Lily and she shuddered. "For the love of- she's _married_!"

"Who?" Missa looked up, nearly forgetting that he was in the room.

"Lily." She replied from behind grit teeth. Jimmy shook his head and she sighed. "Pink frock?" She asked, trying to stir up his memory. At that, he nodded.

"Hm. Guess it doesn't matter. Most of 'em are married anyway." Missa made a face of disgust.

"_All _of them are married, Jimmy. I'm the outlier!" She put her hands on her hips, forcing herself to breath. "Do you know what this would do to John if he found out? He loves her so much..." Now it was Jimmy's turn to roll his eyes.

"As long as he doesn't know it was _me_, I don't give a damn." Missa bit her lip.

"I thought you wouldn't." She said. "But then again, it's not any of your business. You didn't force her. I swear, the next time I see her I'm giving her a piece of my mind-" Missa was cut off by the sound of knocking on the basement door. She froze as she heard it open a crack.

"Melissa?" A voice called down the stairs. "Are you all right?" Grimacing, Missa paused. She didn't want to, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Tilting her head back, she let out a breathy moan.

"I- uh, I-I'm fine!" She said. Missa was met with the sound of giggling from upstairs before the door closed. Gagging a bit, she couldn't even bring herself to flush. She didn't want to look at Jimmy, but forced herself to when she heard him laughing.

"I guess we should get started." He said. Missa opened her mouth to reply, but didn't get the chance to before he crossed the room. Jimmy seized her arm and she noted how his grip did not hurt her. She only began to pull away when he led her towards the bed. Gasping, she tugged her arm away from him. 7

"Don't!" She hissed. "Please, _don't_." Jimmy's eyes hardened and she shook her head. "Please, you're my friend. I'd never be able to look at you again if I knew that you'd- you'd-"

"Finished you off?" His smirk was back, but it was hardly fake.

"Yes, that's exactly the most inappropriate thing you could've said." Shaking her head again, Missa put a bit of distance between herself and Jimmy. "I'm so surprised that Myrna of all people would've," she paused, "hired you." It sounded so very wrong that Missa flinched.

"Not the first time it's happened." Jimmy reminded her.

"You were at Mary-Lou's party too." It was a statement, not a question, but he still nodded. "Can you imagine what would've happened if I'd gone?" Missa grimaced for what felt like the hundredth time.

"So why didn't you?" His tone was nonchalant, but he seemed interested.

"My papa wasn't well. His spine was-" Missa looked to the money on the dresser and then to Jimmy. He seemed to notice her second shift from calm to manic and raised an eyebrow. She walked towards the entrance, opening it.

"What are you doing?" He asked, moving to follow her. She looked at him like he was crazy.

"Leaving." She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Missa reached out, taking his hand. "Come on." She grabbed the money off the dresser and pressed it into his palm. "There, you're paid. Let's get out of here."

"Anyone ever tell you that you've got the attention span of a rat?" He asked and Missa paused.

"Yes." She replied. "But that doesn't matter. I'm not going back up there. They think that we-" she sighed. "If papa found out, he'd lose it." Jimmy shrugged.

"They can't tell him without outing themselves." He explained. While Missa knew that was true, she still didn't want to go anywhere near them.

"I know, but if I set foot up there, I'll make a scene. Trying to blend in now that I know what they've done, calling you 'it' like your not even human. I can't do it, Jimmy. I'm gone, but are you going to come with me?"

Jimmy hesitated before nodding. He disappeared into the room before returning with a leather jacket. He tugged it on and it was then Missa noticed he was only wearing an undershirt. The back of her neck felt hot, but she ignored it as she walked to the back door.

She opened it and let herself out, hoping that no one would be looking out the back windows. Missa motioned for him to follow when she saw there wasn't anyone around. She wondered if he did this often, or if he even liked sneaking around like he was something to be ashamed of.

Missa supposed he was a source of shame for the women in the living room, but not to her. He was not as guarded as Dot, but his skin was very thick. Even so, Missa liked to think she could see the light at the end of his eyes, and that his life hadn't worn him down too much.

"I'll be right back." She said when they were at the front of Myrna's house. Quietly, she walked towards the door and rapped on the wood. Missa's mouth was set in a firm line when the woman answered the door.

"Oh, Melissa." She said. "What are you-" Missa reached into her pocketbook, pulling out a few bills before shoving them in her hands.

"I'm leaving, Myrna. I had a lovely time." Flashing her a smile, Missa turned on her heel. "Just deliver my tupperware, if you'd be so kind." She said over her shoulder. Smiling wide, she added as an afterthought, "And lock your back door!"

Laughing to herself, Missa heard the door shut from behind her. She didn't bother to look, however, as her attention was rather absorbed by finding Jimmy. He'd disappeared and Missa's stomach dropped. It had gotten dark some time ago, and she'd hoped she wouldn't have had to walk home alone.

A smile broke out on her face when she saw him leaning against the picket fence at the end of the driveway. He'd found himself a shadow to hide in, which made him nearly impossible to find. She noticed he'd tugged on leather biker mitts, but if he actually owned a motorbike, she hadn't seen it.

"I thought you'd run off." She said. "I'm glad you didn't. I'm just about starving and it's no fun going to the diner alone. Come on." Missa walked down the street, thankful for the tall lamps on either side. She realized she hadn't turned to see if Jimmy was even following her. Casting a glance over her shoulder, she noticed he was.

She slowed her pace until she was walking next to him. As awkward as she thought the silence between them was, she still decided that conversation, no matter how uncomfortable, was better than none.

"My papa wasn't feeling so good a few weeks ago. That was when Mary-Lou's party was." Missa said, picking up where she'd left off. "He fell down the stairs about four months earlier and shattered his spine. He can't walk now, and I'm all he's got now." Why she was telling him this, she didn't know.

Jimmy didn't say anything, and Missa wondered if he'd even know what to say. He didn't ask her to stop, however.

"It's hard, being needed so much. You've got to make a choice between who's happiness you want more." At this, Jimmy looked at her.

"And who do you pick?" He asked.

"Papa. I'll choose him over me every time until he's dead." She sighed. "I love him so much, Jimmy. But he's a narrow-minded man. He doesn't understand that if I decide I want to be happy before him, I want to do it my way." Missa laughed, but it sounded strange coming from her saddened face. "I think he just wants to return the favor."

"So what does he do?" Missa shrugged.

"Little things. He'll give me money, but tell me what to spend it on. He wants me to get an education, but only if I get myself a husband before I graduate. I don't want any of that. I'd rather be poor, alone and free then where I am now." Jimmy shoved his hands in his pockets and said nothing this time.

Missa let her mind wander to the field, and she wondered what Bette and Dot were doing. She'd promised them that she'd take them to the movies, but doubted she'd be able to that night. As much as she adored them, she couldn't let her father know she was staying out so late.

_If that's the reason, why are you with Jimmy? _Missa truly hated it when her thoughts made her think even more. She liked knowing things, and she liked learning, but Missa hated when she was confronted by her own bitter hypocrisy.

She reasoned with herself that she'd take them out next week, maybe even after the show if they weren't too tired. How her father even let her out of the house after church was a mystery to Missa, and the last thing she wanted was to abuse his trust.

Looking to Jimmy again, Missa realized there was no way she could avoid breaking his trust now. If her father found out about the lie that she'd let Jimmy touch her, she'd never see the sky again. If he found out they were only friends, Missa doubted the punishment would be any less severe.

The same went for Dot and Bette, she supposed. It was almost unfair how Missa pushed all three of them into the darkest parts of her social life. She knew how much Bette liked being in the light, and it only made her feel worse. She hid them all because she was selfish, because she'd lied to Jimmy when she said she wanted to be alone.

Her papa needed her, and she needed him right back.

* * *

><p>"You know, my mama calls it 'flipper action'." Missa nearly choked on her glass of water, a blush lighting her cheeks. Wheezing, she coughed into her arm.<p>

"Jimmy Darling, _please _tell me that you're lying!" She gasped. He shook his head.

"It's all true, Miss Missa." He replied. She tried to quiet herself, but couldn't contain her laughter.

"Oh, but that must be so embarrassing!" She exclaimed. Jimmy shrugged, leaning his elbows on the table.

"Not really. We don't exactly have the same kind of moral code." Missa raised an eyebrow, taking another sip of water.

"I would think not." She said. Crossing one leg over the other, she tilted her head to the side. "Who is your mama anyway? I don't think we've met."

"Her name's Ethel Darling." Jimmy said. "She's the woman with the-uh," he paused, running a hand over his chin. Missa bit her lip.

"Oh, well I've not had a chance to speak with her. I'll say hello in the morning."

"I think she'd like that." It was then that a strange thought came to Missa. Worrying her lip between her teeth, she cast a timid glance in Jimmy's direction. She wanted to ask him something, but wasn't sure how he would react.

"Promise me you won't get mad if I ask you a question." Missa said. Jimmy shrugged and it seemed to be enough for her. "If all your mama's got is a beard, why doesn't she just shave it and lead a normal life?" He grit his teeth and dropped his gaze to the table. He looked at his hands before replying.

"Just 'cause you you hide something, it doesn't mean it's gone." Missa's mouth fell open as guilt washed over her.

"I didn't mean it like that." She said. The last thing she wanted is to hurt _anyone_, let alone someone who'd been tolerable thus far.

"I know." He said. "You're just curious." He seemed to be trying to convince himself more than Missa. It made her a bit uncomfortable, and she shifted. Noticing her discomfort, Jimmy surprised her when he steered the conversation in another direction. "You've told me lots about your papa, but what about your mama?"

Something screamed in Missa's head, but she was able to refrain from doing so out loud. She didn't like to talk about her mama, but didn't want to clamp up after he'd been so free with information about his.

"I haven't seen her since I was two years old." Missa said. "We used to live in Tallahassee, just a few hours away from here. One day, mama packed up and left. At least, that's what papa told me. I can barely remember her now." She took a breath. "He moved us here as a way of letting go, I guess."

"I get that." Jimmy replied. "Hey, at least he's moved on." Missa nodded.

"I never saw him upset over it. Not even once. He's a strong man, and I love him in spite of his misguided ideals."

There was a lull in conversation after that, but the sharp edge to it was dulled considerably. It made Missa relax a bit. However, she found she couldn't stay quiet for long. She wanted to know more about him, about his life and especially about his talent.

"I watched you during rehearsal," she said. "Your shadow play was amazing."

"Well, if it gives these a use other than touching ungrateful housewives, I'll take it." Missa noted the slightly bitter undertone to his voice, but decided to ignore it.

"It was _beautiful_, Jimmy. It's just like with the acrobats." He huffed and hunched his shoulders a bit. Missa realized that he perhaps disliked having any sort of attention.

"I'm not the headline act. That honor goes to Bette and Dot. I usually help out around backstage, but Elsa doesn't like wasting anything." He paused. "Not even you. I'm sure she'd give you something to do if you asked her." Missa frowned.

"What makes you think I'd want that?" She replied. Like a light switch, his defense was turned on.

"I don't know. There's gotta be something more interesting than sitting there all day." Missa shrugged.

"Seeing the rehearsal's more fun than you think. It's just that it's normal for you." She suggested. That did not seem to sit well with Jimmy, and he fixed her with a hard look. "What?" Missa asked and he shook his head.

"Maybe we should go. It's getting dark." Missa wanted to remind him it got dark an hour ago, but simply nodded and stood. She closed her check and walked out with him before turning left when he turned right. He stared after her for a second, looking like he wanted to say something.

"I don't need you to walk me home, Jimmy. But it's nice that you thought about it." Giving him a smile, she turned and headed home. As she reached her door, she froze, remembering she'd forgotten her sweater at Myrna's.

Wincing, she realized she would have to go retrieve it, and likely explain why she'd left the party to make her own fun with a freak.

* * *

><p><strong><em>I'm about 95% certain this is the longest chapter. Oddly enough it's also one big love letter to my MissaJimmy ship so..._**

**_As a side note, I think I've finally decided what I'll do in terms of following the show week by week or doing my own thing. Because I (might) be updating before Wednesday, I plan to set up Missa's arc and the proceed with the show's plot, possibly pushing the storyline forward a few weeks instead of days! _**

**_Just bear with me as I fangirl for two seconds but who here is actually so hyped for Wes Bentley's Edward Mordrake? 'Cause let me tell you a thing, I am!_**

**_I'll see you guys next update! Lots of love to all my reviewers and my readers who'd rather not leave a comment! You're both awesome!_**


	6. Chapter Six: Cotton Moons

_**Chapter Six: Cotton Moons**_

It was perhaps too early for a social call when Missa found herself outside the Hale house. The little red flag on the mailbox was up, almost like a warning sign that Missa chose to ignore. Swallowing her disgust for the woman just inside, Missa plucked a few advertisements and letters from family from the box.

Papers in hand, she rapped on the front door lightly. She'd painted her nails only the night before and did not want them chipping on Lily's account. Missa forced herself to smile when her slightly mussed-looking friend answered. Her robe was tied tightly around her middle, her hair back in a twist and her makeup was only half on. Something similar to amusement stirred inside Missa when she saw her like that, like it was silent revenge for cheating on her husband.

"Good morning, Lily." Missa said brightly. Her friend mumbled a friendly hello in return before stepping out of the house, shutting the door part-way behind her.

"Sorry, John's dead to the world and I don't want to wake him." Missa nodded in understanding, holding out her hand and presenting her friend with the daily mail. As mad as she was with her, Missa couldn't help but feel a bit better when Lily smiled in thanks and tucked the envelopes into her pocket.

"It's early, I know." Missa said. "I hope I didn't wake _you_." In actual fact, Missa hoped she did.

"Oh, no." She replied. "Not a chance, I sleep so light anyway. And the party tired me out." At this, Lily cocked an eyebrow. "I never saw you come up from the basement. Myrna said you left and I told her to stop being so ridiculous. Then I looked around and you were nowhere to be found." Missa glowered at her friend's sudden shift in mood.

"And just _what_ are you implying?" Missa snapped, eying Lily.

"Is that what you think I'm doing?" Lily asked. Missa nodded. "Oh how silly of me. I meant to accuse you. Mary-Lou will too. She saw you sneaking off with the freak." Missa's mouth fell open. She wanted to protest, say she had no idea what Lily was talking about. Her thoughts went to Jimmy and she sighed inwardly.

"Don't you _dare _call him that to my face. In fact, don't you dare call him anything but his name!" At this, bitterness bled into her eyes. "You don't even know his name, do you?" Lily rolled her eyes.

"Hardly see why I should. I don't care about it, and I think you've gone right crazy if you say you do!" Missa recoiled like she'd been slapped.

"Then lock me up and throw away the damn key, _Mrs. Hale_." Sighing, Missa crossed her arms over her chest. "Now, Lily. I didn't come here to have a screaming match with you. I need you to do something for me."

"And just what would you want from me?" She asked, her tone had a sharp edge.

"Get my sweater back from Myrna's. I'm never darkening her doorstep again." Missa said from behind grit teeth. Lily grimaced.

"But you'll sure as hell darken mine. I'll get you your sweater, Melissa. But you're not welcome here after that." Missa nodded, a deep sort of sadness clawing at her heart. She didn't want to loose her best friend, but the look in her eye was enough to make her nod before walking away.

* * *

><p>Missa sat in her chair, back hurting a bit from the wood pressing in between her shoulder blades. A few bland acts had rehearsed, but nothing was all that memorable. Elsa sat in a lounger and seemed to be as bored as the young woman. Her hands, however, were occupied by Pepper, who painted her long nails a dark pink.<p>

She looked down at her own nails, frowning at the garish green color. Her papa asked what the Sam hell she'd done to her finger tips when she went to get him his breakfast. Missa had just scoffed.

"_I think it's pretty."_ She'd replied with a smile on her face. Her papa grumbled, but didn't make her take it off. That didn't quite relieve the pain of the memory of that morning, but it did ease it a touch.

"Still think watching is entertainment enough?" Missa looked up, cracking a smile at Jimmy. His smirk held amusement behind his eyes, amusement that had been missing last night before he recognized her. Sighing, Missa shrugged.

"I thought so, but this is a bit dull." Nodding, Jimmy motioned for her to stand.

"Alright then, let's head out." Missa raised an eyebrow. "You can admit you were wrong, so I won't leave you here to be bored. Come on, I'll give you the ten cent tour." Smiling, Missa rose and brushed out her circle skirt. She walked with him out of the tent and into the daylight.

"Do you really have elephants?" Missa asked, remembering the long trialor she'd seen on the first day. Jimmy shook his head.

"Too expensive. We traded 'em in for some horses, but the venue's not too good for animal acts." Nodding, Missa quickened her pace as he did.

She followed him past the rows of tents and trailors, casting glances at some of the other performers whom she hadn't met. Missa gave a smile to the tall woman smoking a cigarette, and looked to Jimmy for clarification.

"That's Eve. She's the tallest woman Elsa ever met. Her act usually involves Ma Petite." Raising an eyebrow, Jimmy was quick to explain. "Smallest woman. The one in the pink dress." Missa nodded.

"Who's that?" Missa looked to the man in the bowler hat.

"Paul." Was all Jimmy said. Missa bit her lip.

"I've never seen so many tattoos on a single person." Some of the boys at the diner had one or two, but they were usually done in pen to impress the waitresses. He laughed in agreement.

"Me too. I'd get one if they didn't hurt like hell." Despite her mind yelling at her to stay quiet, Missa reached out and put her hand on his bicep.

"One would look good right here." She said, thinking about it. "But you'd have to get something weird. I'd be mad as hornet if you got a fish or girl. You're better than that." Jimmy stiffened and reality came crashing down on her head. She pulled her arm away, wondering if she should apologize. He didn't mention it, however, and so Missa said nothing.

"That's Meep." Jimmy said after a moment of silence. Missa followed his line of sight to a man holding a chicken. Curious, she strayed away from him to get a better look. She ignored Jimmy's arm on her shoulder as he attempted to keep her from moving any further. "I wouldn't-" he cautioned but Missa didn't listen.

She gasped and took a step back when he brought the chicken to his mouth and in one clean move, bit it's head off. Missa did not cry out, but felt her stomach flip. Had she not been so disgusted, she would've admired how fast he was able to do it.

Missa felt Jimmy's hand on her shoulder again, but decided against letting him lead her away. Instead, she approached the man, her footsteps cautious. The blood around his mouth made her bite her lip, but she did attempt to smile.

"Hi there." She said. "I bet you used to live on a farm." She was startled when the man answered positively, but did not do so with words. At once, she understood why Jimmy called him what he did.

Remembering him, Missa looked over her shoulder, giving him a reassuring glance.

"Is that what people call you?" Missa asked, looking forward again. "It's not much of a name..." She trialed off. "Then again, a name's only what you want to be called."

Sighing, she decided to continue the one-sided conversation.

"You know, I used to live on a farm in Tallahassee. That's how I guessed you used to live on one too. You don't hold a chicken like a city boy." She looked at the headless animal and suppressed a shudder.

"We should keep going, Miss Missa." Jimmy said. It was only then that she noticed he'd come up behind her. Giving Meep a goodbye smile, she stood.

"I'll see you in a bit." She said. "Bye." Waving, she let herself be pulled away.

Their last stop was Bette and Dot's tent. Beaming ear-to-ear, Missa turned to Jimmy.

"How did you know this was _exactly _where I wanted to be?" She asked and he shrugged.

"I had a hunch." He replied. Either way, Missa grinned at him.

"Thank you. Don't worry about coming to get me, I plan on taking them out to a movie anyway." She paused. "Do you want to tag along?" Jimmy shook his head.

"Nah, you take 'em somewhere nice. I'll tell Elsa about it for you." Smiling wider in thanks, Missa turned and entered the tent.

"Someone there?" She heard Bette ask over her shoulder as Missa let herself in. She noticed the two were sitting in front of a mirror. Bette's smile was sunny as Missa walked into her field of view. The sister turned.

"Hello, ladies." Missa said. "I love your tent." She added as a side note.

"Elsa said we could fix it up however we liked, but there's not much to add." Bette explained. Missa nodded, taking a seat at the table in the center of the room. She noted the open newspaper on the top.

"Bette was browsing through the movie list." Dot said. Missa looked up and gave the stoic woman a smile.

"Excited?" Missa asked Bette, who nodded. "I thought so. Come on, let's pick one out and we'll go see it."

"I don't care which one we see." Dot insisted. Missa rolled her eyes.

"Well, if you want to sleep for an hour and a half, that's fine. But I think you'll have a bit more fun if you put in your two cents." They stood and Missa had to admire their new dress for a moment. The skirt was black with clean, white circles dotted here and there. Missa noticed how much they looked like pretty cotton moons in the waning daylight as the two sat down at the opposite chair. Dot did not seem pleased, but Bette looked about ready to burst.

"It's right over here." She said, flipping to the entertainment section with her hand. Missa stared at the titles in thought.

"Hm. What about Singin' in the Rain? I hear it's got some good songs." Missa looked up to see Bette's face fall. The woman shook her head.

"I don't want to see that." She said, her voice like cold stone. Missa became a bit worried.

"Something the matter?" Missa asked. Dot shook her head.

"She doesn't like Gene Kelly." Dot explained. Missa nodded, a bit hesitant to accept her excuse.

"Whatever you say, but I think you'd enjoy it." At Bette's continued resistance, Missa obliged. "Well, there's always High Noon if you like Westerns. But damn, it's in black-and-white." Grimacing, Missa thumbed through the pages. "Ivanhoe looks alright if you like medieval pictures. And at least it's in color." Missa looked from Bette to Dot, trying to gauge their reaction. At that, Bette smiled again.

"I think that sounds nice." She said. Dot didn't breathe a word, but she didn't need to. Her silence meant she had no protests and so it was decided.

"I brought my car, hoping you two would want to go out tonight." Missa said, checking to make sure she had enough money in her pocketbook. "If we have a good time, we'll go see another one soon. If not- _damn_!" Bette and Dot looked up at their friend's exclamation. "What? Oh, sorry girls. I just wish there was a way I could take you two dancing."

* * *

><p>It was dark enough outside when Missa drove her car through the ticket booth. She smiled at the woman behind the counter, not daring to look in the back seat to see if Bette and Dot were still hidden. She hoped they were, but still flinched a bit when she noticed the woman looking in the back window.<p>

The clink of the cash register was music to Missa's ears as she handed over enough money for exactly three tickets. The woman looked surprised when Missa told her to keep the change before rolling up the window and driving into the theater.

"Are you two alright?" Missa asked, turning around in her seat. The blanket was already off the sisters and she assumed it had something to do with Bette's infectious excitement.

"Better than alright!" Bette replied, sounding happier than Missa had ever heard her.

"Well then get up here, both of you! Unless you want me to go grab us something to eat." Dot shook her head, a plain but perhaps a bit overwhelmed look on her face.

"Stay put." She said. "You don't need to do anything else for us." Shrugging, Missa wanted to say it was the least she could do, but didn't want to begin an argument. Pushing the passenger's seat up, she motioned for them to join her at the front again.

"You can see _so _much better up here!" At their hesitance, she looked around at the mostly empty parking lot. "Come on, it's a Monday! There's _nobody _here!" It was only then that Bette's hand gripped the back of Missa's seat, pulling her and her sister forward.

Missa wondered what it was like to have two arms and two legs, but only control one of each. It was like putting a thousand dollars on a high shelf that was too tall for you. Bette and Dot would be reaching until the day they died, but they'd never get it. They'd never get to be free.

Sighing, Missa watched as the two got comfortable. She couldn't keep the smile off her face at Bette's obvious joy. It felt good doing something nice for her friends. Sure, the ticket prices were a bit steep, but Missa never doubted it was worth it. Sparing a glance at the two, Missa realized that _they _were worth it.

Missa yelped when the movie started and Bette, who was seated right next to her, grabbed her hand and squeezed. It was a nice feeling though, and hardly painful at all.

"I'm gonna need that hand back." Missa whispered. Bette, who looked embarrassed, nodded and loosened her grip. Missa didn't seem quite ready to let her go, and gave her hand a gentle squeeze back. "I'm just glad you're enjoying yourself." She said. Missa didn't look over at Dot, who's hand was in her lap. As such, she didn't notice it twitch when Missa pulled away.

* * *

><p><strong><em>I really kinda like this chapter, if only because it marks the relative beginning of Missa's personal mystery! Although there have been clues in earlier chapters, the next few will involve setting the stage for the interwoven story! In about three chapters or so, I'll be following tomorrows episode!<em>**

**_Also, the everyday updates thing is likely going to stop now that we're back to the weekdays. School's gonna keep me __majorly busy, so sorry all!_**

**_I think I was asked about how long this would be, and so I'm going to make a guess by saying it won't exceed forty chapters. If it does, so be it! I doubt there'll be a sequel though. _**

**_Have a great night people, and I hope to see you soon with another update!_**


	7. Chapter Seven: Waiting Here With You

_**Chapter Seven: Waiting Here With You**_

Stretched out on two folding chairs, Missa looked a bit like a cat. The night before had been a long one, but still wonderful. The movie nearly bored her to tears, but the colors almost made up for it. That and Bette saying thank you at the end of the night. Dot's nod goodbye was a little less icy, and Missa remembered smiling at her in a way that would hopefully thaw the frozen twin.

Elsa was waiting in their tent when Missa drove up. All three were tired, despite Bette's insistence that she was too tired to sleep. And yet, the woman yawned along with Missa as she put her car into park. The young woman had to admit she was surprised to see the German woman sitting there. As motherly as she was certain she was trying to be, there was a missing element that set the entire relationship off.

Nevertheless, Missa had praised her devotion to the sisters safety before taking her leave. The ride home felt especially long and put Missa in a bit of a bad mood. Why exactly, she didn't know. Since 'joining' the freak show, Missa often wondered why no nightmares had visited her. Instead, she barely had any dreams at all, not even good ones. Something about that might have unnerved her, had she not been so happy while awake.

Everything she'd ever wanted was packed inside the tent. Everyone she'd ever wanted to meet and speak with was there as well. Bette was quickly becoming a dear friend, and Dot's walls were cracking. Elsa, while flamboyant and frivolous, had an eye for the underside of beauty. She truly cared for all of her monsters, and especially Ethel.

"Are you Mrs. Darling?" Missa asked only an hour and a half before. "Jimmy's mama?" The woman looked up at the girl before cracking a smile.

"That'd be me." She said. "Are you Miss Missa?" At that, the young woman smiled back. She sat down in the chair next to her, folding her hands in her lap.

"I am. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to say good morning before now." Missa said. Her voice had a touch of regret to the edges. Ethel seemed to pick it out from the rest of her words and shook her head.

"Nah, that's no problem. Elsa keeps new folks on a short leash." Unsure whether or not she should agree, Missa aimed for the safer middle ground.

"She's just keeping an eye on me. She cares about all of you a lot." Ethel made a noise of agreement.

"Don't I know it. Still, you seem alright. Jimmy talks about you every once in a while." At this, Missa's eyes fluttered to her lap.

"Does he?" She didn't think she was interesting enough to be talked about. Mistaking her surprise for fear, Ethel was quick to clarify.

"All good things, dear." She assured her. "All good things." Missa realized she'd have to tread carefully from that point. Ethel appeared aware of her son's nefarious employment on the side, but was she aware that Missa had seen him?

"Really? Like what?" Inwardly, Missa cringed. She was hardly subtle, but her curiosity could not be placated by idle imagination. She wanted to know what Jimmy thought of her.

"I don't think he's used to life outside the show." His mother admitted. "He's a good boy, and he'll leave to flirt with a Betty or two, but he's never had the chance to meet _anyone _who'll give him the time of day otherwise."

"Why not?" Missa asked. Was acceptance truly so hard to find? Her chest hurt a bit as Ethel's face fell.

"They don't give him the chance. They don't give any of us a chance." Biting her lip, Missa tried to stop herself from reassuring his mother in turn, but failed in the end.

"He is a real nice man." Missa said. "Jimmy's got a big heart, and he cares about everyone here. That doesn't mean he can't be a bit cold sometimes." Missa trailed off, wondering why she'd said that.

"That's my boy. He's had quite the life, short as it's been. Don't let him discourage you, though. He doesn't hate you. Far from it actually." Missa couldn't help the slight grin that broke out on her face. She was hoping Ethel would reveal that. Not sure what else to ask, there was a strange sort of silence in the air. It persisted for a few moments before Missa broke it.

"What _has_ Jimmy been through?" She asked, but Ethel shook her head.

"Oh no." She began. "If he hasn't told you already, it's 'cause he doesn't want to." Missa's face fell a bit and the woman sighed. "Look, I think he'll tell you. I really do and I don't say that to just anyone. Be patient with him, though, Miss. He's my son and I know he deserves at least that." The protective tone in her voice was not lost on Missa, who gave a gentle smile before nodding She knew Jimmy deserved a lot more than just a bit of patience, but it was a start. She wouldn't bother him about it.

It was then that Elsa entered the tent, followed by Pepper, Salty and Jimmy. Eve and Paul were not far behind, and Missa stood. She waltzed back to her seat, sighing as she nearly fell back into her chair. As nice as her conversation had been, she was still a bit bored and still quite tired. In an effort to remedy that, she put her feet up and brushed the dirt off of her heels.

Engrossed in her own little world of restoring her shoes to their former glory, Missa jumped when she saw Pepper out of the corner of her eye. The woman held in her outstretched hand a pile of papers stapled nearly in the corner. Mumbling a startled thank you, Missa took the package and skimmed over the front page.

"Wait, is this the script?" She asked, looking at the other people in the room. Elsa nodded, sitting back in her lounger.

"Exactly that, Missa." The German woman informed her. "Read it. Tell us what you think." Frowning, Missa looked down at the small type. She skimmed the next couple of pages, recognizing it to be what Ethel had said to the small audience a few nights before.

Missa's frown deepened, however, when she got to the fourth page. Her mouth fell open slightly and she looked up only for a moment to cast a glare at the collective of people sitting in folding chairs.

"Something the matter?" Elsa asked, looking at her from over the brim of thick sunglasses. Missa huffed and sat up straight.

"I think the only mistake of nature in the room is _this_." She said, waving the script in their direction. "The wording is simply atrocious." At this, Elsa lifted an eyebrow.

"And how so?" Missa grit her teeth, instantly disliking the innocent tone the woman adopted.

"First, nobody here is a mistake. Second, haven't you ever considered that no one's going to treat any of you like normal until you stop pointing out that you're different?" Jimmy gave her a hard look that had her instantly wishing she'd stayed quiet.

"Two very good points," Elsa began, "but the last thing we want is for them to be considered normal." Missa's face contorted into confusion. "Otherwise, no one would come, and we would not be paid." The young woman floundered for a bit, attempting to find a counter-argument. In the end, she hunched her shoulders and rolled her eyes.

"Aright, I understand that. Still, it doesn't mean I like it." Elsa laughed, but it sounded strange coming from her.

"_You_ do not have to. It only matters that the people filling the seats do." Missa huffed again, shrugging. She felt a bit more awake and did not attempt to return to her earlier position.

"I don't think it's right, though. Miss Elsa, you might call 'em monsters and mean nothing by it, but other people hear it and don't say it the way you do." At this, Jimmy's hard look softened into one of disbelief. Elsa seemed obvious to his changing emotions and instead fixed Missa with a strange look. Carefully, she removed her sunglasses.

"And how would you say it?" The woman asked. Missa flushed and stuttered something unintelligible. She stopped, however, when the teasing tone in Elsa's voice reached her ears. Somehow, that didn't relieve her embarrassment, it simply turned it to contempt.

"I don't say it at all." Missa said from behind grit teeth. Her tone stunned even her, and she stood, suddenly embarrassed again. "I-I meant no disrespect, Miss." She said, her voice returning to normal, if a bit submissive. "I'm a bit restless. I'd like to go for a walk again." Missa's eyes went to Jimmy, who's expression had hidden behind an unreadable mask. She stared at him for what felt like forever, silently hoping he'd give in and remove her from the tent.

"Go on, boy." Ethel spoke. "Take the lady on her walk. We'll be alright without you." This seemed to jar him from his trance, and he quietly obeyed his mother. Missa cast a smile with her eyes towards the woman as she exited the tent.

Unlike yesterday, however, the tension between them was real and uncomfortable. Jimmy walked quickly, hands stuffed into his pockets. Despite the fabric hiding them, she could tell they were balled into fists. It made her stomach flip as she hurried to keep up with him.

The small fraction of the performers not in the tent were seated outside their trialors. Most were smoking and even more were drinking. Missa recoiled.

She was called back to a time when her papa drank, although she also remembered him quitting cold-turkey when she was four. How he would get when he'd had a bit too much was not exactly fresh in her mind. It'd been ages since her papa had anything stronger than iced tea. Still, she recalled being scared when he drove himself to anger while intoxicated. Instinctively, Missa found herself gravitating towards Jimmy, despite the obvious friction between them.

"Some of them got it bad." She mumbled. Jimmy looked at her like she was crazy.

"Got what?" He asked and she stared plainly at some of the other carnies.

"I think more than a few have a problem." Her voice dropped to a whisper. Despite what she'd thought, although she wasn't sure _what _she'd thought when she originally spoke, Jimmy seems to agree.

"Been tryin' to tell mama that." He mumbled. "But it's like talking to a wall." Missa flinched and nodded.

"My papa used to, you know..." And it seemed Jimmy did, because he doesn't ask her to elaborate. "Then, something changed. He got out. I think some of them still can." Jimmy inclined his head.

"A few, maybe. I'm hoping for more than that, though. Still, it takes a want to make things right." Missa had to nod at that.

"I guess it doesn't matter where you're from, there will always be alcoholism." She smiled at her own joke, hoping it wasn't in too poor taste. When he didn't answer, Missa's heart sank a bit. Had seen been too harsh.

A bit too embarrassed to look at him just yet, Missa wondered if it was just her bad joke that seemed to have him suddenly so tight-lipped.

"Jimmy?" She asked. Missa was met with only silence. She refused to be discouraged so easily and tried again. "Jimmy? Talk to me, please." His head snapped around and he stared at her from over his shoulder. Glad to have some reaction, Missa took a few bigger steps until she was walking beside him. "Have I made you upset or something?" She asked.

"What? No." Jimmy replied. Missa didn't believe him at all.

"Did I say something wrong? Don't lie to me, I'd like to know if I made you mad." He shook his head.

"You didn't." He replied, but his words were clipped. She felt her stomach sink a bit. He _was _angry at her, and she didn't understand why.

"You've never lied to me before." She said. "I don't think I like that you're starting now." Jimmy stopped dead in his tracks.

"I tell you, I'm not lying." He said. Missa didn't care that there was a warning left underneath his words, she still pressed on.

"Why do you talk to me like I don't listen?" She asked. He shook his head, saying nothing. "I'm trying, Jimmy. You sure as hell know how to make a friend feel like dirt." At that, he rounded on her, shocking her to silence.

"And who said you were my friend?" Her mouth fell open.

"B-but I thought-" She cut herself off. Her throat felt dry, but she didn't want to speak to him. Her eyes hardened. "Why d'you have to be so mean?" Missa asked, her voice as hostile as his. "I've been nothing but nice and yet you're still pushing me into a corner!" She let out an angry huff as his eyes narrowed.

"You make everything confusing." Jimmy said, his voice like nails. "As far as I can tell, you're the only freak in this field and it's how you treat me and my family." Missa wondered what she could've _possibly _said to offend him so much.

"Don't call me that. In fact, don't _talk_ to me like that." She said in a dead-quiet voice. It scared her a bit, but not Jimmy. The only effect on him it had seemed to be temporary silence once more.

"You don't belong here, Missa." He said. "You're like them and you just don't know it yet. You'll ask the wrong question one day, see something that you don't want to, and then you'll run screaming. We're not perfect people, Miss Missa, and we don't ever intend to be." She gaped for a moment, but just a moment.

After that, she squared her shoulders and set her mouth into a straight line. She would not cry. She _would not. _

"You're wrong." She said. "You're bitter and sad because you have to leave from a back door. You look at me and you wonder if there's other people who won't treat you like garbage. But you're too scared to bother You don't want to be wrong." Missa turned her back to him, walking towards the entrance. "You've got lonely down to an art form, Jimmy Darling."

* * *

><p>"Papa?" She asked, opening her front door. "I'm home!" She set her bag and keys down on the sitting room chair, pulling her hat on her head. She shook out her ginger curls, her stomach sinking with every flick of her hair.<p>

Missa felt sick in the car ride back home. She wanted to make the next turn and drive right back to the field. She wanted to apologize more than anything but something held her back.

Ethel was wrong, Jimmy didn't like her one bit. No, he tolerated her and entertained her little need for companionship. That kept her hands clenched on the steering wheel so hard she thought her fingers were going to break.

That didn't mean she didn't look in her rear view mirror as she drove away. It didn't mean she pretended not to see Bette and Dot's faces in her mind when they'd emerge to find her not there.

Missa would have to go back tomorrow, if only for their sakes. Still, she promised herself she would never speak to him again.

_Until he apologizes. _She thought to herself before shaking her head. She wouldn't forgive him, not even then. Even if she didn't have a brain she would've known that was a lie. Even if Jimmy didn't like her, she liked him. She liked watched his walls fall down, brick by brick. She liked breaking them down too, by asking him strange questions. Most of all, she liked to be kind to him.

In a way, she supposed he'd already been saved. Elsa had given him a job and what Missa assumed was a second chance at life. Still, the woman couldn't help but want to save him from the new life he'd made. He hated it so obviously and so passionately, she almost wondered why he stayed.

As if in answer to her question, she heard her papa stir upstairs. Jimmy cared for Ethel, and Missa hoped she did right back.

Walking up the stairs, Missa opened her papa's door. She flicked on the light at his request and took her seat at the foot of his bed.

"What happened?" She asked, reaching out a cold hand to his hot cheek. He looked flushed, and she noted his erratic heartbeat. He pushed her hand away, a gesture that she was used to.

"I must've dosed off while you were out, Melissa." He said. "I had a nightmare." Her face contorted into sympathy and she took his hand.

"I'm sorry papa." She said. "Do you want to talk about it?" He shook his head, patting her hand.

"No, I'll be fine." He eyed her, looking curious. "Why are you home so early? It's barely noon." He looked to the clock and Missa scoffed.

"My professor called in sick. We were all sent home." He nodded. "I could sit with you if you liked." She said and he shook his head again.

"No, I'll be fine on my own. But a cup of coffee would be nice." She smiled and left, walking carefully down the stairs.

Once in the kitchen, she flicked the kettle on and took a seat at the kitchen table. As she waited, she put her hands on the cold, plastic top. Fighting off tears, Missa wondered how she could have been this bored yet still content before.

* * *

><p><strong><em>A quick update before tonights episode because why not! Yeah daily updates are still a thing, shhhhhh.<em>**

**_Anyway, I hope you guys liked this, and I think I still have two more chapters before I start following the show! Have an awesome time you guys, but -even though I doubt you will- don't leave any spoilers for the ep in your reviews because I likely won't see it until Friday!_**


	8. Chapter Eight: Pins and Needles

_**Chapter Eight: Pins and Needles**_

Head held high, Missa walked across the path. The click clack that pleased her so hardly registered in her mind. She had a goal, a purpose, or at least she told herself so. That was truly the only reason she'd woken up that morning.

It was maddening, sitting at the kitchen table and staring at the clock until it was acceptable for her to go to bed. She'd burned her father's coffee in her nearly trance-like state as she tried to guess which act was rehearsing at the beginning of each new hour.

Her papa said she her classes were obviously not helping if she couldn't make him a cup of coffee any more, and Missa retaliated rather viciously, asking him why he hadn't hired a full-day maid yet. He grumbled something about not having the time when Missa knew all he had was that. Time and _so much money. _

Still, if she so much as mentioned his terrible pride, it guaranteed her the night to be left in peace. Her papa did not like being reminded he was a terrible stick-in-the-mud, and usually Missa did not. However, her mood had taken a shocking downward spike upon parking her car in the driveway, and she did not attempt to apologize.

Although she knew from the moment she left that she had to go back the next day, it truly dawned on her right before she fell asleep. It was barely after nine and Missa was so restless she could barely lie still. She was so used to her feet hurting from walking in her heels, to her eyes stinging a bit from her makeup melting in the Florida heat. She'd spent the day in the living room reading a magazine, nearly sick with boredom.

Whether she liked it or not, the show was her only relief from the tedium of her life. Missa supposed she was damn lucky to have such an escape, but also wondered if she truly was better for it. Lily led a normal life, or at least Missa thought she did until she found out what Jimmy did on the side. It made her cringe, partly just thinking of him and partly what he friend had done.

Inwardly, Missa wondered how Lily could stand it. True, Missa had been blissfully ignorant to how boring her life was, but she hadn't made the full commitment. Her papa was not a shackle to her home the way a husband would be, merely rope that was easily frayed. Missa shuddered as she wondered what would have happened had she realized the truth about the way she was living after she'd attempted to start a family.

Missa had always been relatively safe in that respect. No boy ever wanted to cross her father, and her for that matter. They were in no danger of being punched so much as being poisoned. Her love of school and science especially over home economics made her undesirable, or at least so she'd been told.

In a way, she supposed she was blessed with her inherit laziness. She didn't want be a mother, she didn't want to be a wife. She wanted to be where she'd left and that was at the freak show.

Missa's back was straighter than a pin as she sauntered into the tent. She'd left her hair down for the first time in what felt like forever. It blew in her face but she didn't mind, it was better to have real wind than the breeze from the air conditioner stuck in her living room window.

"Morning, ladies." Missa said as she walked through the front entrance of the big top. She removed her sunglasses and stuck them in her pocket, casting a beaming smile towards Bette and Dot. They were sat down in the middle of a small cluster of performers. Jimmy was nowhere to be seen, but Elsa sat in her chair. Missa gave her a look that barely passed for friendly. The two stood, and Missa noticed that both seemed strangely happy to see her. Dot, while not showing it directly, looked brighter than Missa had ever seen her. She said nothing, however, and it was Bette who replied.

"We thought you weren't coming back." She said. Missa shook her head.

"He said-" Dot began before cutting herself off.

"He can't scare me that easily." She replied, her tone even and positive. This seemed to placate the two, and she her smile was brighter than a light bulb. Missa reached her hand out, careful to take Bette's arm instead of Dot's. She led the two back to the cluster, sitting closer to them as opposed to her usual spot.

"Good to see that you are still on agreeable terms, Missa." Elsa said from her seat. She pressed her lips into a thin line just after, making Missa wonder if she should even reply.

"With who?" She asked. Her row had been with Jimmy, not with Dot or Bette. She could hardly imagine fighting with them over anything. Both had good hearts and level heads, not exactly the right combination for throwing fits or starting fights.

"With Jimmy, of course." Missa raised an eyebrow. "Come now, my dear. If he does not scare you, then how can you not be civil to him?" She didn't like where the woman was going and her smile faded.

"I guess so." She said. "But what's that got to do with anything?" He's not even here." Elsa looked around the tent, nodding.

"Exactly. Which is why I need you to go and fetch him." Missa's mouth dropped open. She would not be ordered around like she was being trained to test her obedience! Her face was grim as she shook her head. Elsa did not appear pleased. "Be the bigger woman, Missa." She said. "And take Pepper with you. If the bad blood between you persists, she will handle the situation."

Missa looked to the pink-clad woman, and gave her a shaken smile. Sighing in defeat, she then nodded.

"I'll get him here as quick as I can." She said, her voice dropping a tone. Missa stood and exited the tent. She paused soon after, waiting for Pepper as it dawned on her that she didn't know the way to Jimmy's trailor. Missa didn't even have to tell her guide to lead the way, she just set off like she read her mind.

Missa trailed after, her steps heavy. She didn't want to see him, she didn't want to talk to him until he'd apologized. Still, she wondered what would happen if she stuck to that, and if she wouldn't be saying anything to him for a long time.

She gaped when she reached his trailor. Despite knowing his deformity, Missa never knew what he was billed as. 'Lobster Boy' stuck out above his name in red paint. It made her stomach turn, but she said nothing as Pepper knocked on the door.

Any hope that Missa had of her simply standing to the side and letting Pepper communicate died when the woman did just that. When the door opened, she was the one standing just outside.

Missa took in a sharp breath upon seeing him. She wasn't afraid, just startled. In truth, she hadn't taken the time to prepare what she would say to him, and was momentarily struck dumb. He braced his hands against either side of the door frame, taking a defensive stance as he waited for her to speak.

"Pepper?" She asked, looking to her. "Go on back to the tent, tell Miss Elsa he'll be there soon." The woman nodded and walked back the way they came, leaving Missa and Jimmy alone. "Elsa wants to see you." She said, taking a step closer. "But we need to talk first."

Jimmy moved out of the way as she entered his trailor. If he hadn't expected her to do so, he didn't show it as he took a seat at his table. Missa sighed and shut the door.

"I'm not afraid of you." Was the first thing she said. She stood across from him, hands on her hips. In response, Jimmy shrugged. "You're not a coward and I don't hate you." At that, Jimmy lifted an eyebrow. He still said nothing. Missa rolled her eyes.

She'd hoped he would make this easier for her, perhaps even cough up an apology right away as to avoid further awkward conversation.

"You know, the least you could do is talk to me after the way you treated me." She mumbled, her shoulders sagging in defeat. After a pause, she turned to leave. It was only when she had her hand on the door that he spoke.

"And you're not a freak." He said, his voice quiet. Despite herself, Missa smiled. She'd hoped he would say something to her, and that happened to be what she wanted to hear.

"Was that so hard?" She asked, turning and not bothering to drop the smile from her face. He didn't smile back, but she didn't care.

"No." He said. "Because it wasn't true to begin with." She nodded, taking a step closer to him.

"And what I said mostly wasn't true either. You're not fond of people outside of the field, but you've got a good reason to be." She put her hands in his table, giving him what she hoped was a kind look. "But they," she gestured to his door, meaning everyone beyond the show, "don't have a good reason to hate you. You've done nothing, Jimmy, and that's the problem. You've got to get out there and show them what goes on inside the tents."

She slipped into the seat next to him, biting her lip before finishing.

"They don't want to know you, Jimmy. So you have to make em." He turned his head, looking at her with a strange expression she could not place. Missa released a breath and gave him another smile. "Now, come on." She said. "Elsa will tear my head off if you don't show up on time." In an effort to show him just how much time was of the essence, Missa reached out and took his hand.

She pulled him towards his door and it was then Missa realized that he didn't feel as heavy as he did the first time she touched his deformity. He felt warm, warmer than most of the boys she'd met.

* * *

><p>Missa hummed to herself as she drove home. Elsa hadn't been too pleased to waste any rehearsal time, but was simply glad that Missa was able to drag him from his trailor. Missa dropped his hand just before she entered the tent, giving him another smile.<p>

The rehearsal went well after that. No one said anything more about their fight, but Missa thought it would've been nice to know what he'd said. Had he told everyone she wasn't coming back? That he'd gone and run their patron out of town? Missa took a hard left and drove down her street.

_Not gonna happen_. She thought, a large grin nearly split her face in two as she slowed down in front of her house. It faded, however, when she saw the three police cars in her driveway.

"Oh my God." She said, getting out of her car. The front door was open, and she hurried inside. "Papa?" She asked, looking into the living room. She felt her blood freeze in her veins as the thought about what could've happened. Was her papa hurt? Had he died?

She felt sick and made a beeline for one of the chairs. Sitting down with a huff, she crossed her arms over her stomach. Missa looked up when she heard the kitchen door open, and two officers walked into the room.

"Where's my papa?" She asked. "What's happened?" The policeman adjusted his hat, taking a few steps towards her. Her stomach sank. Missa felt tears prick behind her eyes as every possible situation spiralled through her mind.

"Are you Miss Melissa Reed?" The man asked. Slowly, she nodded. He looked to the other officer and nodded. He moved fast, faster than she'd ever seen. His hand closed around her wrist, nearly crushing her as he slapped a pair of cuffs around them. Missa cried out in surprise as the steel rings dug into her skin and wretched her arm away from him.

"What the hell are you doing?!" She exclaimed. She was on her feet in an instant, glaring daggers at the two.

"We received a call from a Mr. Jonathon Reed, him being your father, yes?" Despite her panic, Missa nodded.

"He told us he'd found something terrible in the basement while you were out, and that he needed the police to investigate." The man was at her wrists again, half-dragging her into the kitchen. She wanted him to take the damn things off and finish a sentence, but instead she found herself in her least favorite room.

The blue plastic sparkled as she looked to the stove and saw her papa leaning against the counter on two legs. He glanced over at the three and gave a somber nod, walking to the center of the room. Missa gaped and felt her head spin as she was sat down at the kitchen table.

"What did you find, Mr. Reed?" The man on her left asked. Her papa flinched and rubbed the back of his neck. Missa was too stunned to think, too stunned by the sight of her papa standing up that she was rendered mute.

"I went downstairs to deposit my pension in the safe and saw that one of the floor boards was sticking up just a bit. Thinking there was a mole or something underneath, I pried it up." He paused and gave a shudder that had Missa glaring at him. "And underneath the dirt. Well, I found a body officer."

Missa made a strangled noise and wished she had a hand to clamp over her mouth. A wave of nausea washed over her as she floundered, unable to speak.

"And did you know the deceased?" The officer on her right asked. He sounded angry, and glared at Missa out of the corner of his eye.

"Yes." He said. "It was my ex-wife, my Annie." Missa felt her throat close. She hadn't seen her mother for eighteen years and now her disable father was standing in her kitchen saying he found her corpse in the basement.

"Mrs. Anne Reed?" The one on the left had taken out a notepad and was writing what her papa was saying down. Her father gave a curt nod and Missa's heart sank.

"What's that got to do with me?" Missa squeaked. Her papa looked murderous when she asked that, and he kept looking to the toaster like he wanted to smash it.

"He claims you killed her." The officer on her right said. His voice was calm, but with a serrated edge. Struck dumb again, Missa fumbled for words and hoping this was all a nightmare.

"I-I did not!" She exclaimed. Missa looked to her father. "Why would you say that, papa?" When he spoke, he did so to the officers, not to her.

"She's been going out every day from dawn 'till dusk-" Missa cut him off.

"To university!" She nearly shrieked. Her mouth shut when she saw the look her papa gave her.

"I blame myself. I kept tellin' her what a rotten woman Annie was. How she'd run off and abandoned the family. I thought I taught her right from wrong, I thought I told her I loved her enough for both parents." Her papa hardly ever spoke about her mama to the point where it was almost like a death wish to mention her name. Missa wanted to yell that, but she was too busy crying.

"We're going to have to check with Bethune-Cookman and see if she's been missing any classes. _Or _if she's even registered." The officer said. Missa's heart sank. No one knew when she'd been for the last week, she had no alibi.

"I followed her as far as Tallahassee one day, sir." Her papa said. "And it wasn't to school. It was to our old farmhouse. She was retracing her mother's steps." Missa grit her teeth.

"He's lying!" She _did shriek_ that, loud enough to shake the house. "He can't even walk, I've been taking care of him for months before I registered!" The officer raised an eyebrow and her father shook his head.

"Minor spinal injury." He said. "I've been walking just fine for weeks." Missa knew that was a filthy lie, but didn't quite know how to counter. Even so, the officer regarded him coldly. He didn't seem to like either of them.

"You've got no proof." Missa sobbed. "You can't do this to me. Just take 'em off. Just _please _take 'em off." The policeman on his left nodded to the one on her right and he unlocked the cuffs. Missa rubbed the red line that snaked around her wrist, silent tears burning down her cheeks.

"We'll need you to come with us and check your medical records." One said to her papa. He nodded. "She'll stay here. I'll have a cruiser stationed outside the house."

"Can I have a minute with her?" Her papa asked and she felt her blood run cold again. The officers left and she was on her feet as quick as she could.

"_Why_?" She snarled. "Why the hell-" Missa's sentence was cut off when her papa raised his fist and punched her in the eye. She staggered backwards, vision temporarily blurred as he walked to the counter. He grabbed something off of it and she pressed herself against the wall. At her feet, he dropped the sweater she left a Myrna's.

"I found _that _in Lobster Boy's trailor." He growled. Missa pressed her palm to her eye, unable to remember the last time she'd been in this much pain. "You been sneaking off behind my back and lying to my face. I know you're sleepin' with freaks. I didn't work my ass off for a daughter who sat back and did _nothing _with her life and who wastes all my money."

"You been following me, papa?" She asked, but she already knew the answer. If her papa was walking and he didn't tell her so, it was because he had something to hide.

"I found my glasses, Melissa." He said. "And I found the paper you read out to me. Full day classes my ass, you ungrateful bitch. Following you was too damn easy."

Missa slid down the wall, bringing her knees to her chest and ducking her head. She flinched in expectation of another blow, but it never came. She looked up and her papa was gone.

* * *

><p>When the pain had subsided slightly, Missa stood. She was numb as she walked to her room and pulled her suitcase out of the top of her closet. Haphazardly, she stuffed everything she owned in the case before shutting it tightly. She sat on it, taking in a deep breath.<p>

Before too long, however, she was on her feet, suitcase in hand. It was a dark night, and the stars had long since extinguished themselves. As if like commentary on her rather black future, Missa could barely see a thing as she fumbled in her papa's coat pockets, taking out his keys and a handful of bills.

Cracking the door open, she darted back inside when she saw the cruiser outside like the officer said. What he hadn't counted on, it seemed, was his partner asleep in the front seat. Scared half to death and shaking, Missa opened the front door and locked it behind her. Quietly, she slid into the front of her papa's car. It used to make her feel so safe, like nothing could touch her while she was driving. She winced as the engine started with a subdued roar, but it did not wake him.

She backed out of the driveway. Somehow, Missa didn't see it as hers anymore. She left the light on in the her room, hoping that they'd think she was still there. They'd notice the car was gone, but she'd never make it on foot.

Missa put her hand on the dashboard and kept it there until she was close enough to the field to walk. With a sigh, she swerved off the road and into the forest. Her heart skipped a beat as she accelerated. She tried to shield her face as she made impact with a tree, but still cried out as a few pieces of glass cut into her cheek.

Unsure if she'd even be able to stand so much as walk, Missa slowly let herself out of the car, pocketing her keys. She retrieved her suitcase from the passenger's seat and tried to ignore the blood on her dress as she walked towards the freak show.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Watched the new ep a littler earlier than expected. Missa's gonna have a damn field day, tbh. Still, she's quick to forgive and who really can stay mad at Jimmy anyway? <em>**

**_I think I'll give it one more chapter before I jump into last night's episode. Anyway, I hope you guys liked this one! Thanks so much for all the feedback I've already got!_**


	9. Chapter Nine: The Unbecoming

_**Chapter Nine: The Unbecoming**_

"She stays."

Missa's head snapped around, and she looked at Jimmy in both awe and disappointment. In a way, she wished he would've told her to get the hell out. Instead, he had his arms crossed over his chest, looking quite near murderous. It chilled her to the bone knowing that despite what she'd been accused of, he still wanted her around.

No one else had said a word after she'd explained why she was on their doorstep in the dead of night. To be truthful, they didn't have a doorstep, and while it was late, she knew most of them were up anyway.

"Don't say that." Her voice was like a whip. "For all you know, I killed her." Jimmy rolled his eyes.

"Did you?" Missa shook her head. She felt tears behind her eyes again, but the skin around her left one was already turning purple. She'd cried on the walk to the field anyway, and she thought she knew pain before.

"Of course you didn't." Elsa said. Missa didn't want to look at her, but did anyway. "You have been with us for the past week. You have an alibi." Paul nodded.

"Yeah. It's not exactly an ideal one, but it's better than nothing." Missa shook her head.

"I told my papa I was going to university. Hell, I told the cops I was there. That ship has sailed and if they find me, you can't protect me." Dot was staring at Missa like she was a statue while Bette was biting her nails. Missa had never noticed that nervous habit before, and it made her sad knowing she'd upset the twin enough to witness it.

"Like hell we can't." Dot said, her face a blank slate. Through her blood and tears, Missa felt a cracked smile break on her face. Bette put her arm down and nodded. She seemed about as speechless as when Missa entered the big top, not knowing where else to go.

Eve was sitting there with Suzy and her red-painted mouth fell open when she saw the woman standing in the doorway. The tall woman had steered her to a seat while Suzy went to go get Elsa. Before Missa knew what was happening, half the show was crowded around her.

She felt a bit uncomfortable under their collective gazes, but it soon faded. These were the only people she could trust, and Jimmy had confirmed it for her. They would not betray her, they would do their best to protect her.

"If any of you end up in trouble because of me-" Eve cut her off, her lips pursed.

"Do you want us to hide you or not?" She asked, shifting her weight and placing her hands on her hips.

"Yes please." Missa replied softly, her eyes dropping to the floor. "I just couldn't bear it if anyone got hurt because of me."

"We'll keep you safe." Bette said. Missa looked up and gave her a look of gratitude.

"Thank you." Missa mumbled. It was then that Bette's face fell. "What?" She asked. Bette raised a hand, motioning to her eye.

"Who hit you?" She asked. So they hadn't noticed? It was dark and only a few lights were set up around the tent. Missa cringed as she'd hoped it wouldn't bruise.

"He did." She said. Missa didn't know why she didn't mention the sweater. She looked at Jimmy when she was certain it wouldn't be in too pitiful a way. Lily had done something with her sweater and it ended up in Jimmy's trailer. That made her papa mad, mad enough to do something stupid.

A wave of nausea hit her, but she managed to remain upright. Had her father truly killed her mother? Her papa was many things but she was certain he wasn't a murderer. He was a liar, a damn bastard, for sure, but Missa didn't think he had it in him.

"He's got a mean left hook. Who knew?" Missa's pathetic laughter died quickly and she soon felt the tears she tried to hold back spill over her cheeks. She didn't like it when other people saw her cry. Her face got all blotchy and disgusting, hardly a pretty sight.

"Look at the state of her." Ethel said, crossing the small amount of space and lifting Missa's chin. She turned her head back and forth, her eyes widening at the bloody cuts. "He roughed you up damn good." Missa shook her head, closing her hand over Ethel's and moving it away from her face.

"I did that. I-I mean it was my fault. I drove my car into the woods and crashed it into a tree. I didn't want them to follow my tracks or something." Dot gasped and Missa's eyes went to her. The twin looked away, seemingly embarrassed by her quiet outburst.

"Will they come looking for you?" Elsa asked. Missa knew she meant in the field. She paused before shaking her head.

"No. No they won't come here unless someone tells 'em about me. And it won't be my papa who does, 'cause he said I was going to Tallahassee everyday. He can't tell them I might be here without proving that he's lying." She went silent for a minute. "Lily might be a problem, though." Missa said, her stomach clenching in fear.

"Who?" Ethel asked, one eyebrow raised.

"This woman I know. She -uh, seemed to know my papa was following me here. And I know _that _because he found my sweater somewhere in one of the tents. He must've been snooping around during the rehearsal period. I told Lily to get my sweater back from a party and she never gave it to me. Now I know why." Missa was silent, her breathing a bit shallow. Her life, as imperfect and lie-riddled it had been, had become a hundred times worse in less than five hours.

"We'll worry about that later." Jimmy said when she was finished. Missa noticed, however, that he wasn't speaking to her, but to everyone else. "Right now we need to get her cleaned up." He hadn't addressed her once since she'd arrived. It made her shrink a bit.

"You have a first aid kit?" Elsa asked. He nodded. "Good. Take Missa and get the blood off her face." The woman looked to her. "We don't need you dying of blood loss." Missa nodded in understanding as the crowd dispersed. She clenched her hands in to fists, hoping they'd stop shaking as she walked over to Jimmy.

"Let's go." He said, turning and walking out of the tent. He did not do so quickly, and paused by the door, waiting for her to catch up. Upon realizing how pitch black it was outside, she grabbed his hand. He glanced at her before giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "It's dark," he said. "Be careful where you step." She nodded and tried not to lag behind as he pulled her through the maze of tents.

The moon finally decided to come out when they reached his trailer. Missa sighed when she remembered her papa called Jimmy 'lobster boy' instead of his name. Her papa was like everyone else, she realized as he led her into his home.

Sitting down at the kitchen table, Missa remembered the conversation she'd had with Jimmy only hours before. Except now he handed her a pair of tweezers and a mirror.

"Hm?" Missa asked, looking at him in confusion.

"You've got glass in your face." He said, almost a bit too bluntly. She flinched. "I can't get it out with my-" Missa cut him off with a nod and picked up the mirror. She bit her lip to muffle her yelp of pain as she extracted the first bit of glass from her cheek. Beside her, Jimmy set a dish down for the little pieces. Her heart sank as the glass in the bowl when she dropped it.

"I think I got it all." Missa said. She sounded tired, even to her own ears. As much as she wanted to sleep, she knew that wasn't about to happen as she saw Jimmy pour some rubbing alcohol onto a cloth.

"Good. This is going to sting a bit." Missa shied away from him as he sat next to her, bringing the cloth to dab her cheek. "Stay still." He said, his jaw clenched. She did, but hissed in pain when the alcohol touched her cut. When he pulled away, her put his other hand to her chin, turning it just like his mama did. "You won't need stitches." He told her and she sighed in relief.

"Thank God." She said under her breath. "Not that I doubt your surgical skills." She smiled, but it must've been too fake for him to bother smiling back. He was busy staring at her eye, and she looked away.

"Damn, mama was right." He said. "Your papa clocked you bad." Missa nodded and tried not to notice how angry he looked.

"He dug his own grave with all his lies, though." She said. "Forging medical records isn't the best way to prove your daughter's a psycho-murderer. They'll be checking those for at least a few weeks. I'm alright now."

She went quiet for a minute before deciding to bring up what she'd neglected to mention to the group.

"The reason why he hit me is 'cause he said he found my sweater in your trailer." She said. "The only person who could've had it was Lily. Did you see her while you were here?" Missa asked, shifting a bit closer to him.

It took a moment for him to say anything, but he nodded. Missa's mouth fell open as she looked to the table-top.

"What did she say?" She asked. "D-did you know she left it here?" Jimmy's eyes widened and he shook his head.

"God no, Missa." He said. "I wouldn't do that. I swear I didn't even see her put it down." It was Missa's turn to widen her eyes.

"She was in here?" She asked. "_Why_?" Jimmy shrugged.

"Said she had another job for me." Missa made a face. "And then she told me to forget it and she scrammed. Right before you came in, actually." He said. Missa sighed.

"Damn her." She said. "And damn papa to hell, too." Missa tried to stifle a yawn, but couldn't help the one that slipped out as she covered her mouth. Jimmy only then seemed aware of how exhausted she was and stood.

"You look tired." He said. "The bed's over there, I'll take the sofa." Missa stood as well, shaking her head.

"No, don't-" Jimmy turned and glared at her.

"We're not fighting about this right now, Missa." He said. "It's damn late and you look ready to pass out." Missa opened her mouth, but shook her head. He was right, it was no time to argue over manners and she was about dead on her feet. Nodding in thanks, she turned walked to his bed. Sighing again, she lay down and closed her eyes.

It could've been minutes or hours later when her eyes flew open and she woke with a start. Her death-like sleep had been plagued with memories of the earlier hour. The sound of he papa yelling still rang in her ears, along with the feeling of steel cuffs around her wrists.

"Jimmy?" She whispered, sitting up and looking around. He stood in the kitchen, hands braced on either side of the stove, he turned when she heard her asking for him.

"I can't sleep." She said. "Come here, please?" He nodded, dropping his hands to his side and walking over to her. His mouth fell open when she reached out and grabbed his hand again, pulling him to sit down on the bed. She lay back, clutching his hand like a lifeline.

"You okay?" He asked and Missa nodded.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I just feel safer when you're around." She mumbled. Chalking up her strange confession to extreme exhaustion, Missa could only hope he did the same. "Distract me?" She asked. He looked a bit uncomfortable and said nothing for a moment.

"What was your farm like?" He asked, throwing her for a loop. "You told Meep you used to live on one in Tallahassee. What was it like?" Missa blinked, letting her mind venture back as far as she could remember.

"We had a field." She said, her voice soft. "Papa didn't care for chickens or pigs so we had horses and cows. They looked so beautiful when they'd run. The horses, I mean. The cows... well, they didn't really do that." Missa sighed. "Our house was just a dot compared to the rest of the land we owned." She continued, "and the sky was blue, the air was clean. It was wonderful." Her face fell and her voice dropped in tone. "And then mama had to leave. I don't even know what really happened any more, but I grew up without a mother." Jimmy gave her hand a squeeze, and it made her feel as better as it had the first time he'd done so. Her tension at the bad memory faded a bit.

"I didn't have father." He said. "And I think mama was happier that way. She left him when I was just a baby." Missa glanced at him from the corner of her eye.

"I'm sorry." She said. Maybe it was her exhaustion, but her voice cracked a bit. If Jimmy said anything else, she didn't hear it as she fell asleep.

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><p>Missa woke to a hand on her shoulder and she snapped awake. Not expecting the sun to be so bright, she hissed and threw an arm over her eyes. When the light no longer stung, she moved her hand from her face and smiled.<p>

Bette and Dot stood a bit awkwardly a step away from her. Missa's face fell as regret set in.

"Sorry, ladies." She sat, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. She wobbled when she stood, but not much. "You just startled me." The two nodded and Missa tossed her hair. "Good morning, by the way," she began, walking closer to them.

"Morning." Bette said. "Jimmy had to set up for today, but he told us to come check on you." Missa smiled again and her eyes dropped to their hands. In them was a small bottle.

"What's that?" She asked. It was Dot who answered.

"Hair dye." She replied. "Elsa gave it to us." Missa frowned and raised an eyebrow.

"What for?" Dot seemed a bit upset when she spoke again.

"The police are looking for a woman with red hair to her shoulders," she held up the bottle. "With this, they won't find her, just a brunette girl sporting a bob." Missa's mouth fell open and her heart sank. She knew the two didn't mean any offense, but she liked her hair. Sighing, she swept a stray lock out of her eyes.

"Either one of you a stylist?" She half-joked. Meanwhile her chest began to hurt. She'd told her papa a million times that she liked how she looked, now she had to change so that she wouldn't be recognized.

"Have a seat." Dot said and Missa did. It wasn't until Bette produced a pair of scissors did Missa begin to panic.

She closed her eyes as Bette took her hair with a gentle hand. She heard the snip as Dot cut away, her stomach twisting with every cut. Missa managed not to cry when the two held up a mirror. At least Dot managed to cut in a straight line.

The hair dye was next, and it was possibly the worst thing Missa ever smelled. Her chest tightened and she held her breath as the twins spread it over her hair. It seemed a bit cheap to Missa, but she didn't care. If it threw the cops for a loop, she'd dye her hair blue.

Missa hardly recognized herself until Bette produced a curling iron. The twin pulled her hair away from her face, gently pressing a warm hand to Missa's hot cheek. The act of comfort was not lost on her as Missa realized they intended to curl her hair, if only to make her feel more like herself.

"Do you want to do your makeup?" Dot asked when Missa's hair hung around her chin in soft, black curls. The woman nodded as the sisters supplied makeup much heavier than she was used to using. Her hand lingered over the foundation before she inwardly shook her head.

"Maybe we should cover it up." Bette suggested.

"No." Missa said. "He wouldn't tell the cops he hit me. If anything, this is natural camouflage." Her eyes were like a China doll's when Miss was done with the mascara. It covered her red lashes well, along with the dark pencil in her brows. Finally, for the first time in her life, Missa applied dark lipstick over her pale mouth.

She looked different, but Missa didn't care as much as when they started. If it kept her friends safe should Lily inform them where she'd likely gone, it was more than worth it.

Missa looked over her shoulder as she heard the trailer door open. Seeing Jimmy in the doorway, she smiled at him with red lips.

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><p><strong><em>Yay! Another chapter! This is pretty much becoming a routine for me, you guys. There's really no other word for it! I like writing this a lot, and I like putting Missa through her little identity crisis as well! Hopefully having to change herself physically won't screw her up too much! <em>**

**_Leave a review if you liked, and even if you didn't because it's nice to know! _**

**_And to the lovely editor-reader, a side note; you will never insult or offend me by pointing out my mistakes! I'll be damn embarassed, but not upset! Point 'em out when I make multiple mistakes like that so I can learn!_**

**_Have an awesome weekend you guys! Next chapter; Massacres and Matinees!_**


	10. Chapter Ten: Spinning

_**Chapter Ten: Spinning**_

Jimmy never asked if Missa was hungry, he just took her arm and led her out of the trailer. She noticed he broke the touch barrier on his own, as if he'd realized she didn't mind it when she held his hand or arm.

If anything, she was rather glad he did. There was a chill in the morning air, and he was as warm as could be. Missa couldn't help it, she smiled and tossed her new hair. As different as she looked, she almost liked it. She looked modern, a bit more serious and hopefully sultry. The freak show was no place for little girls, and as Missa walked in her dress from the night before, she felt more like a woman than she had since she became an adult.

Jimmy didn't seem much fazed by her change in appearance. If anything, his reaction was disappointing at best. She had his nod of approval, however, which kept her from wondering if she just looked like an utter floozy.

As she turned to look in the mirror again, she was struck by how much her black eye stood out. It hurt worse than anything she'd ever felt and that came as a bit of a shock to her. It dawned on her that she didn't truly know hardship, and while she was becoming fast friends with the sisters and hopefully with Jimmy, she'd never be able to understand them.

Missa wondered why on earth she hadn't been afraid of them, why she'd asked to touch Jimmy the first time they'd met. Sure, she'd been shaken up by the sight of Bette and Dot, but not enough to forget they were human beings.

She looked to her lap, finally deciding that it was best not to wonder why. Missa had done quite a bit of wondering since she went to the show, and most of it was pointless brain-chatter. There was a darkness hidden in the row of tents, and Missa didn't really want to find out what it was.

The breakfast tent was crowded with a few of the other performers. Eve sat at the head of the table, taking lazy drags of her cigarette. The woman wrinkled her nose at the sight of Missa's dress, but tilted her head.

"I liked you better when you were a ginger." Paul said. Missa rolled her eyes and took a seat between Meep and Salty. Jimmy placed a plate of something in front of her and she grinned at him before picking up her fork.

"Hm." She said after taking a bite. "Brunettes have more fun than redheads." Missa informed Paul with a teasing sneer on her lips. "And blondes more than them, but I get the feeling that Elsa's the alpha blonde in the show." Missa smirked to herself, digging into her breakfast and hardly caring that it wasn't very good.

Missa leaned forward, pursing her lips before reaching over and fiddling with the knobs on the radio. She wasn't satisfied until Billie Holiday poured her voice out of the speakers. Jimmy snorted and Missa glared at him over her shoulder. He fixed himself a plate and sat down beside her, reaching to change the station.

"Don't you dare." Missa swatted his hand away, bracing her elbows on the table and smiled.

"This song's old-school Missa." He said and she sighed.

"_I say I'll care forever, and I mean forever, if I have to hold up the sky..._" She sang along, shaking her head. Eve cringed and made a face.

"No." She said. "No, don't ever do that again." Missa blushed and shut her mouth. Singing was never really her passion in life, and her early years had been filled with slips and trips in ballet class as opposed to trying out for talent shows. She remembered papa telling her that if she couldn't sing, she'd have to talk, and life would be a hell of a lot harder.

"If I'm staying, so does Billie." Jimmy put up no further argument, although that might've been because he was eating. When the song ended, Paul reached over to change the station and she let him.

Missa tuned out of the back-and-forth chatter and listened to Walter Brown sing about tramps. She didn't like it as much as Billie, but didn't want to push it. She doubted Jimmy would let them kick her out over her music taste, though.

Jimmy seemed a bit agitated, she noticed when she came back to earth. He'd taken his plate and hers too in to wash when she was done and kept tapping his foot on the ground. Missa hunched her shoulders, worrying her lip between her teeth. She didn't like seeing anybody that nervous. When his restlessness seemed to pique, he flipped the channel on the radio, much to Paul's displeasure.

Missa's insides froze up when she realized he's turned it to the news. The reporter spouted something about a missing child and three murders, and Missa vaguely remembered seeing them in the paper. In addition to that, there was apparently a policeman missing as well. Missa frowned, wondering if they'd say anything about her mama.

"They didn't mention her." Missa said softly. Suzy cocked her head to the side. "They didn't mention how I 'killed' my mama. Must be 'cause she's not a local. That and papa lied a whole hell of a lot to get the evidence it was me who did her in in the first place." Eve gave her a sympathetic look, but her eyes soon moved to Jimmy's. Paul's did two and all three shared a look of knowing. It passed, however, when Missa heard distant police sirens.

"Missa," Jimmy said as the woman went pale. "Keep your eyes down. Don't say nothin'." She nodded and did as she was told, staring off into space and trying to look inconspicuous.

Two men exited the cruiser, looking much more freelance than the ones she'd seen the night before. Averting her eyes, Missa looked to Meep and gave him a nervous smile. He seemed to be on edge as well, and kept glancing towards the policeman.

She tried to look reassuring, but seemed to fail as the man's look darkened. He seemed angry with her as she shied away, a stark contrast to how he'd been a few days earlier.. Distantly she heard the cops question Jimmy about the disappearance of the missing detective, but tried not to focus on it.

_For the love of God, Missa,_ she thought, _don't ask the wrong questions._

What Jimmy said still rang in her mind. He wasn't the perfect dream-boy, as nice as he'd been. That had been a clue, a clue he was hiding something. It dawned on her that he might've been testing her, daring her to ask and prove himself right. Missa shook her head. She wouldn't ask, she didn't care.

Had she truly become so daft? Missa tried to fight off thoughts that questioned the ethics of her friends and herself, but found it difficult. Her black eye was the result of lying to her papa and stealing his cash. Lily appeared to have framed her, but that was only the pushing point.

She thought back the nights she'd sat with him, fabricating details and even entire classmates from her university. He seemed so proud that she was doing something for once, that she might have a chance to be a content housewife. Missa felt a pang in her chest upon realizing that he'd been gritting his teeth behind a smile, wondering how his daughter could be such a snake. Shaking her head, she looked to Eve.

"Got an extra?" She asked. Hardly ever did she get the urge to smoke, but the part of her brain that said her lungs hurt after an inhale seemed to have been sheared off with her hair. The woman nodded and tapped a cigarette from her pack.

Missa put it between her lips and Eve lit it for her. The smoke upon inhaling was surprisingly satisfying, despite the burning sensation afterward. Missa felt her built up stress from that morning alone evaporate into the air as she exhaled. Sighing, Missa nodded in thanks.

She watched the cops walk off towards Elsa's tent and she sat forward, taking another drag. Shutting her eyes, Missa's thoughts flew from asking the wrong questions to simpler things. What she was going to do with her time was one of them.

At home, she was the mother to her papa's father. She cleaned the house sometimes and did her best to take care of him. More often than not, she didn't want to, but it was her obligation. Now that part of her life was behind her, Missa wondered if she was _still _under the very same thing. Sure, the venue and people she'd be caring for had changed, but perhaps her thoughts had as well.

As much as Missa tried to tell herself that she'd reached a point in her life where she didn't have to care any more, she found herself caring more than ever. It became apparent to her upon her mother's death not being announced on the radio that she still had a chance. She'd come to the freak show for protection, but what good could that do her? She wasn't a freak, she was normal. The only thing freakish about her was her nearly obsessive want to be liked by those she liked to begin with.

Nice as she was to everyone, and as nice as they were in return, Missa still felt out of place. Not like a little girl any more, to be certain, but still like she didn't belong. Deciding it was a bit too much to worry about, she stood and didn't bother to excuse herself as she drifted away.

A nice breeze was blowing near the water and Missa went to sit by it, closing her eyes and listening for anything worth hearing. For once in her life, she heard nothing.

Sitting back on the grass, Missa exhaled and ran a hand through her hair. Yesterday had been a breeze compare to how her day was turning out. Despite the chipper mood everyone had been at the breakfast table, a cloud hung over Missa that poured invisible rain.

She didn't know how long she lay there until a shadow was cast over her face. Missa opened her eyes, realizing how groggy she was as she caught sight of Ethel standing over her, hands on her hips.

"Morning, Mrs. Darling." She mumbled, sitting up. Missa blanched, however, when she saw the woman did not look pleased. "Something wrong?" She asked, standing. Ethel had been so kind last night, what had changed?

"Elsa sent me to find you." She said. "And you didn't make it easy. Come on, girl." The woman finished. Missa cocked an eyebrow and followed close behind her.

The show manager looked murderous when Missa entered the tent. Remembering both Meep's and Ethel's curious darkness, she didn't find it too out of place. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows when the police came knocking, it seemed.

"They will return with a warrant." Elsa told Ethel. The bearded lady nodded and seemed to deflate a bit. Missa did as well. She knew the performers stood accused of killing a detective, but she didn't believe it.

"We'll deal with that when the time comes, for now you can speak with Missa." Ethel turned and left the tent, but Missa almost wished she hadn't. Elsa stared at her for a long moment, looking her up and down before shaking her head.

"You want to avoid suspicion and yet you walk around my show in a bloody dress." Missa bit her lip. She'd been too hungry that morning to change. She told Elsa so and the woman shook her head. "We are facing an inquiry from the Jupiter police, don't make excuses, make changes." Blushing, Missa nodded.

"Ethel said you wanted to talk to me?" Missa asked, gesturing towards the door. Elsa nodded.

"In the past, you bought your way into my tents with gratuitous amounts of money," she began. Missa's face fell. "But now that is no more and you must look to alternative methods on earning your keep."

"But, Miss Elsa, I'm not good for the show." As if to illustrate her point, Missa turned around. "See? There's nothing about me that's weird. And I can't cook, so don't even ask." Elsa pursed her lips.

"You seem very eager to dismiss the idea that you have natural talent, Missa." She said. "Tomorrow there will be rehearsal, you will show us what you can do then." Seeing that she had no other choice, Missa nodded and left.

That night at dinner, Missa wondered how she ever could've left before this. Everyone was so loud and more than a few were drunk, it made her smile in a way she had not since arriving. She'd decided that there was no point in changing her dress so long as she was eating, but was rather upset to notice that the little blood spots had dried. They wouldn't come out any time soon. If she had not been having such a good time, she would've likely been cross. The scene would've been perfect, if not for Jimmy at the head of the table.

He'd been in a mood since the cops arrived, and he sat back against his chair in a way that told Missa he didn't want to be bothered. In a way, he wished he had invited her to sit with him, or at least looked at her. Instead he was scowling at the opposing wall and ignoring everyone around.

It wasn't until the noise level reached a new high that Jimmy's pent-up rage was released. With his shout, the celebration came to a grinding halt. The room went quiet as he stalked out. Missa had seen that type of anger before, often with her papa, and shook her head when Eve looked to her. She would not go with them. Eve and Paul stood up and left the dinner tent, making Missa sigh.

She'd never seen Jimmy like this before. Yes, he was pretty pissed-off when he found out she'd be sitting in on their rehearsal, and again when she asked too many questions, but never had she seen him shaken. He looked distraught, if nothing else, as if wracked with guilt and self-doubt. Missa wondered what he'd done, but didn't want to put the pieces together.

Missa was sitting on the sofa when he came back in. He looked tired and over-worked, like he'd been lifting something heavy. She frowned when he said nothing, turning to check the lock on her suitcase.

"What've you got that for?" He asked, gesturing to her case which she had taken from out of the bathroom. Missa shrugged.

"I thought you might want me to get out of your way. I think Elsa mentioned that Pepper could use a room mate. Jimmy gave her a look.

"I won't tell you what to do," he began, "but you don't gotta leave. You're not bugging me." Missa felt a blush spread on her cheeks and she shook her head.

"But this is your space, I feel bad..." Jimmy rolled his eyes.

"Are you gonna try to fight me on this again, Missa?" He asked. "You don't bother me. Stay if you want to." She sighed before standing, taking a step closer to him.

"Sometimes I wonder why you're so nice." She mumbled. Suitcase in hand, she walked to bathroom and set it down. She didn't feel as exposed in his trailer. It wasn't as much of a cage as Missa thought it would be and she sat down on the sofa again. It was well past midnight when she fell asleep. Jimmy didn't tell her to go sleep on the bed and she was a bit glad. If she was going to stay with him, she wasn't going to steal. He'd given her a hell of a lot, now it was time to give back.

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><p><strong><em>I was going to post this later, but screw it! I can't wait to get to the second day, as not much happens in terms of the show in the beginning. They're too busy informing us that Dandy is, actually, a god-damn lunatic. I mean, he drinks liquor from a baby bottle! (Can I be him, though? Because that sounds like a good time...) I only hope maid!Patti LaBelle slaps him to another continent.<em>**

**_Just a sidenote, the song Missa 'sings' in this chapter, the Billie Holiday one, is dubbed 'Crazy He Calls Me'. I highly recommend you go find this song and also 'Sloppy Drunk' by Walter Brown, which they actually used on the show. I don't know whether to be embarrassed or proud that I didn't even have to look it up..._**

**_Musical rant aside, I'll see you guys either tonight or more likely tomorrow! Bye bye!_**


	11. Chapter Eleven: Like Broken Glass

_**Chapter Eleven: Like Broken Glass**_

Smoke filled her lungs in burning coils, releasing the knots of anxiety in her chest. Missa sat outside with Ethel, taking a few lazy drags of a cigarette before rehearsal. Missa never bothered to smoke before she left home, she never really had the time. Her papa hated the smell and she hated the cough they gave her a few hours later. Still, the fact everyone around the show seemed to do it might've been a deciding factor when she asked Ethel if she could bum a smoke off of her.

The bearded lady obliged and Missa couldn't help but feel better. Leaning back against the railing of Ethel's balcony, she admired the colors of her caravan. The rich wood was painted in bright reds, yellows and blues, catching her eye. Missa wished Jimmy lived in a home like that. His trailer was nice, but hardly fit him personality-wise. He seemed cramped living in a one-room space with his moniker put before his name. Life on the road seemed to suit Ethel well, however.

"I don't know what I'm gonna do." Missa said, exhaling. The smoke blew up her nose but she hardly minded. "Elsa's convinced I've got a talent or something but I _don't_. Unless you count shoveling out cash to people, I'm culturally dead." Ethel scoffed and threw the butt of her cigarette out into the field.

"She'll find somethin' for you to do." She said. "Elsa's like a bloodhound for talent. Do you sing?" Missa shook her head.

"Eve confirmed my suspicions. I can't hold a note for more than a second." Ethel raised an eyebrow, looking like she wanted to say something else.

"Maybe that's for the best." She said. "Elsa gets real jealous real easy, especially when it comes to people who can sing." Missa frowned.

"Why's that?" Ethel shook her head.

"I'll say no more. Elsa's been good to you, letting you stay here. She'll find you something to do and you'll get used to the lifestyle." Missa's frown deepened. Had her discomfort truly been so obvious?

"How do you know I'm not adjusting just fine?" Missa asked, discarding the remnants of her cigarette as well. She crushed it into the dirt beneath her heel and felt the last bit of her anxiety ebb away.

"Not to be rude, but you look like a fish outta water." Missa's mouth fell open. Did she really? Scowling at herself, Missa tried not to ask why, but did so anyway. "Don't think you're the only one. It takes time to make the change over. At least, I think it does. I've been on stage for some time, Jimmy too."

"I think he wants a farm," Missa began, "Jimmy, I mean." Ethel seemed to sag a bit when Missa mentioned that.

"I know it. The boy dropped a few hints and then finally his whole plan on my head a couple days ago." Missa cocked her head to the side.

"He wants to plant crops or something on the side?" Ethel shook her head.

"Nah, he wants to leave the show completely." Somehow, Missa wasn't to surprised. The steadfast look on Ethel's face, however, was. "I don't think I could leave again. This here's where I belong." She put a hand on the step beneath her and Missa nodded.

Some way or another, Missa understood. As much as she loved the show, she knew she belonged in boring little suburbia, where she could stay pretty and red-haired and dull. Sitting on Ethel's front steps, dark-haired and painted like a movie star, she didn't feel dull, she felt free.

Missa liked that, feeling like she could fly with no strings attached. She liked the show, she liked her friends. One thing she did not like, however, was that little bug at the back of her mind that told her to go wash her face and get back in the kitchen.

That was something that shocked her a bit, the even split of work responsibilities. It wasn't just the women who did the cooking, nor the men who did the lifting. It's like someone poured black and white paint on a pallet and they'd whisked it all up into a pretty shade of gray. Missa never thought gray could be beautiful before, but she liked to think everything could be here.

"I should go see where the twins have gone off to." Ethel said. "Rehearsal's comin' up fast and they're our headliners." Missa nodded, pulling herself up. She felt better once she got a new dress on that morning. Despite how hot it was, she'd picked something a bit darker in color. As far back as she could remember she'd dressed in brights to match her hair, but those times were gone. She said goodbye and set off in another direction, slightly bored and hoping to see something interesting.

She spun around when she heard a car come down the path and into the field. Missa put a hand to her brow to shield her eyes from the sun as she watched a dark blue automobile park not too far from the circus.

Missa's brow furrowed when she saw the trailer attached to the back of it, and couldn't help but he a bit curious. She took a few steps toward the newcomers and watched from a safe distance as a hulking man helped a black lady in a fur stole out of the motor home.

She didn't quite know what to think of the two, other than the man scared her just a little bit. Not that he looked menacing when he had his hand on the woman's back, but his scowl was still deeply set.

A bit disturbed by the people who'd just arrived, Missa found herself drifting towards the rest of the parking lot. She pulled back sharply when she rounded a corner, clamping a hand over her mouth.

The man from the first show she'd seen was sitting in the front seat of his car. The fact that he was there with no mother in sight was an oddity to her, but what made her start was watching him as he hit his head against the steering wheel with a passion. He mumbled something under his breath that sounded damn-near repetitive and Missa decided it was time for her to go. She didn't care if he was bleeding, he looked about ready to commit murder.

Stumbling into a nearby tent, thoroughly disturbed, Missa barely noticed Jimmy sweeping as she went to sit down. She wondered what the hell could've happened to drive him to do that to himself, but found that she didn't really want to know.

"Hey." Jimmy said. She looked up, giving him a slightly breathless smile.

"Hi." She replied. He appeared annoyed, agitated even and her look of interest did not seem lost on him.

"If you see a guy in a blue sweater with a scowl, don't go near him." He warned. Missa bit her lip.

"I think I already did." She said. Half-heartedly repressing a shudder, Missa closed her eyes for a moment. "He was out in the parking lot, hitting his head against the steering wheel. Wasn't _that_ a pretty sight to walk into." Opening her eyes, Missa lifted an eyebrow and stood. "What happened with him?" She asked.

Jimmy didn't say anything for a bit, he just continued to sweep the wooden floor of the tent. Missa was persistent, however, and went over to him.

"He wanted to join the show." He said after she put a hand on his shoulder. "I told him to buzz off. He doesn't belong here anyway." The thought that something dreadful had happened left Missa's mind as she retracted her hand and made a face.

"Him?" She asked. "What's, you know, _up _with him?" Jimmy seemed to realize that there was no other way to phrase it and shrugged in response.

"Nothin'." He said. "Not a thing, he's normal. Well, he claimed he knew the entire Cole Porter canon." Missa couldn't help her laugh of disbelief.

"You're joking." When he shook his head, she laughed again. "If he didn't scare me so much, I'd ask him to preform. I _love _Cole Porter." She sobered a bit, giving Jimmy a serious look. "I think you're the first person to tell him 'no' in a while." He nodded and went back to sweeping, staring at the ground with a look of uncertainty.

"Someone's gotta." He said, and Missa agreed. She pursed her lips, however, and blinked in thought.

"If you won't let him join up, why'd you let me?" Jimmy exhaled and looked like he wanted to stop what he was doing. He didn't, however, and continued to work as he spoke.

"You were different, you weren't running away from your problems." Missa let out a short, humorless laugh.

"I sure as hell am now." She muttered and he rolled his eyes.

"That guy doesn't know what problems are. He only thinks he does." It was Missa's turn to roll her eyes.

"I don't either." She replied. Jimmy smirked before walking over to her, pushing the broom into her hands.

"Your dad framed you for murder," he said, walking towards the stage. Missa grimaced before dragging the broom across the dusty wood. "That sounds like a problem to me."

"Yeah, but I'm not doing anything about it." She reminded him. He sat on the stage and sighed.

"Right now, all you're doing is hiding." He said. "Sometimes, you have to. And then in a bit, when you don't need to anymore, we'll all gladly push you out the door. Maybe then I'll get my sofa back." Missa put the broom down, her mouth opening into a smile that feigned offense.

"You've got a real mean streak, don't you?" She asked, her voice hiding laughter just beneath the surface. "Alright, you've swept up, made _me _sweep up, and now we deserve a break." Missa walked towards the mouth of the tent. "Let's go watch me be embarrassed. Elsa's trying to find me a talent."

* * *

><p>"<em>Living for you, is easy living. It's easy to live when you're in love. And, I'm so in love, there's nothing in life, but-<em>"

Desiree played the piano with practiced fingers, but it wasn't enough to hide how wrong Missa's pitch was. She stood on the stage, blushing and struggling to form coherent words when her windpipe felt like it was closed.

It had been a strange experience, seeing a woman with three breasts sit down at a piano and played it like she had all her life. Missa wondered if she _had _and then proceeded to wonder who taught her.

"My God," Eve said, cutting Missa off. "Can we stop?" Missa shot her a glare and the woman sitting in the second row glared right back. "You're killing Billie Holiday!" Rolling her eyes, Missa crossed her arms over her chest.

"Can we take five or something?" Desiree asked. "Maybe get the twins up here and see what they can do?" Missa huffed and walked off the stage, angry with their blunt attitudes.

Bette cast her a pitying glance as she walked by. Missa didn't find it to be very comforting, but the edge to her mood dulled a bit. Missa sat down next to Jimmy, who smirked at her.

"Billie again?" He asked, shaking his head. Missa scoffed and shrugged.

"She's my favorite. Now shut up, it's Bette and Dot's turn." Actually, as Missa soon found, it was just Bette who intended to sing. The two had swapped their different colored head bands for matching ones, Missa wasn't sure of how to feel about that. She supposed she was reading too much into it, but was it Elsa's intention to make them look exactly the same?

Desiree's hands went back to the piano as Bette opened her mouth and began to sing a song Missa had never heard. Wincing slightly at the similarly tone-deaf sound, she was almost glad she'd never listened to it before. It was her turn to feel pity as Bette tried to make excuses for her voice. While Missa supposed it could be chalked up to nerves, she knew that the bigger the dream you had, the less likely you had the necessary talent.

In a way, Missa felt bad for her. Elsa's comment about their lack of talent being eclipsed by the fact they had two heads made Missa wonder if anyone else realized their ringleader was a hypocrite. She didn't say anything, but made a mental note for later in case she needed to.

Bette's insistence that they find something for them to do other than be stared hit Missa in the chest with a force she hadn't expected. It was then that she was confronted for the second time by how much their lives seemed to focus on escaping scrutiny.

The ideas Desiree put forward shocked the twins, but much to her surprise, Missa let out a loud bark of laughter.

"I don't think that's a talent." She said to her. Desiree seemed to think it was.

"And yet you're not coming up with anything better." Missa brushed it off, telling her that it wasn't her job to make up talents. It was also painfully true that Missa didn't _have _a job at the circus, something she was attempting to rectify.

Any and all sympathy Missa had for Bette was cut in half upon her declaration of "Dot doesn't have any talent." when Jimmy suggested that she sing. The look on the twin's face as she agreed was just as painful to Missa.

"So sing something else." He replied when Dot went on to say she didn't know the song her sister had begun to sing.

"Yeah." Missa piped up. "Know any Billie Holiday?" She gave her a lighthearted smile, hoping to encourage her. "Come on, you can't be any worse than me." Dot seemed to consider it as Jimmy stood.

"Just sing it to me." He encouraged. "I won't laugh at you. Missa won't either. Just pretend there's no one else but us. Give it a try." That seemed to be the tipping factor as Dot gave a barely-noticeable nod and Desiree readied herself at the piano.

Momentarily distracted by Bette's patronizing glance towards her sister, Missa nearly missed the bars of _Dream a Little Dream of Me _that Dot sang. Bette had always been so sweet, so confident. Missa wondered what had changed.

Nevertheless, Dot's voice was as captivating as her twin's was tone-deaf. Not wanting to hurt the others feelings, she refrained from clapping. All was silent for a moment as Dot smiled in a way Missa had never seen before. She'd never radiated anything but distrust before, as far as Missa had seen, but there was an unmistakeable glow of confidence to her.

The pleasant silence was shattered, however, by the sound of loud laughter. Missa looked to her right and saw the hulking man that she'd seen earlier. According to what Elsa had told her, he was a strong man from Chicago who'd come to join the show with his wife, Desiree.

He was also, apparently, the new head of security. Missa was glad that Elsa had seen the importance of _taking _security measures, as he now ensured they were safe from her papa if he came snooping around. The man -Dell, if she remembered right- looked tough. It didn't unsettle her, however. If anything, it made her feel safer.

It was shocking how much he reminded her of her papa, although he did not have the same proud exterior. She remembered her father before he'd fallen, and how he was a beast of a man in size and temper. While she didn't know if Dell was as quick to anger, she still found him to be a comfort, if nothing else.

"That'll go over real nice tomorrow." He said, taking off his hat and walking towards the stage. Missa's eyes widened along with Elsa's.

"So the curfew has been lifted?" Elsa asked, putting Missa's curiosity into words. If it was, it hadn't lasted long. Dell shook his head before explaining how the show time would have to be moved in order to regain business during the city-wide lock down.

Elsa disagreed with the idea, but Missa found herself understanding why it might work. True, an air of mystery might be lost when the sun was still shining, but was better than taking in no profit just to keep the tone the show was going for.

"What's a few hours anyway?" He said. "I've already done the billing, Elsa. I've got everyone down." He looked to Missa, an eyebrow raised. "But not her, who's she?"

"An ex-patron of ours. We were trying to discover her talent this rehearsal." Elsa replied as Dell walked towards Missa.

She flinched when he reached a hand out towards her, but she was soon shrieking when he picked up the chair she was sitting in as opposed to shaking her hand. It was a battle to keep her balance, but Missa steadied herself and her shouts of surprise morphed into that of cautious laughter.

"It's alright," Dell said, flashing her a showman's smile if she'd ever seen one. "I've done this a hundred times, you're not gonna fall." Missa nodded and couldn't help the smile that spread over her face.

Since she was little she liked being up high, and had even thought to mention to Elsa that she could be a tightrope walker if nothing else. Still, she doubted they had one of those. Even if they did, walking above everyone sounded like fun, falling on them did not.

"I'm fine." She said, a bit breathless. Missa noticed Jimmy was on his feet and waved him away. "I'm just fine. Still, can you put me down now, please?" She asked. Dell obliged without any persuasion and Missa was soon on the ground again.

"I've been looking for a girl to add to the act." He said to Elsa as much he did to Missa. "I can't use Desiree because she's always been good enough for her own time slot." Elsa nodded, looking to Missa with a curious expression.

"And you, Missa?" She asked. The woman bit her lip in response.

"Is it safe to be on stage?" Missa asked. "I mean, with the police and all..."

"The best of us are on the run." Dell said, speaking only to her this time. "Look, I won't even put you on the bill if you're that nervous." Missa nodded, seeing no problem with that.

"I just have to sit there?" She asked. "Because I can do that." Upon Dell telling her that no other skill was required, she nodded, hoping that she wouldn't find a way to destroy the act.

"Great, I'll start posting the bills. We've gotta get some people in here for tomorrow." It was then that Elsa seemed to snap just a bit.

"I don't remember saying that the matinee would happen." She said, her voice like broken glass. Dell's face hardened from pleased to nearly frightening. Behind him, his wife reminded him that Elsa was, in fact, his new boss. Dell's entire stance shifted to defensive as he walked towards the German woman, saying in a voice like stone that no lady was the boss of him.

Missa stood and balled her hands into fists when Jimmy intervened. The strongman shoved him after his attempt to tell him to calm down, eliciting a gasp from the since-then silent Dot. Missa took a step back, her eyes still hard as Dell stalked out of the tent. It seemed as though the matinee would go on, and Elsa did not seem interested in fighting with him.

"I don't want you doing the act with him." Jimmy said when everyone but Eve and Suzy had left. He stood a bit behind her, glaring at where Dell had left from in much the same way she was. Missa scoffed.

"As long as he doesn't drop me, I don't care what he says." She replied. Her voice had a slight tremor to it, perhaps undermining what she said next. "I'm not afraid of him." Oh, but she was.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Aaaand new chapter! I'm actually shocked by how bloody long I'm taking to just get through the damn episode! If every single one is going to take three chapters, we miiiiiight be looking at a few more than forty. Oh well. <em>**

**_I'd like to take this time to stare at my review number blankly before nopeing into the sunset because how the hell have I breached a hundred already? What the ever-loving frickle-frackle are you boys and girls doing?! I kid, of course, because I love the response! _**

**_Thank you guys sooooo much! Have an awesome day!_**


	12. Chapter Twelve: How Blue is Your Heart?

_**Chapter Twelve: How Blue is Your Heart?**_

"Jimmy, it doesn't matter." Missa said, a tired edge to her voice. "Come on, I'm starving, let's go eat." Much to her surprise, he shook his head. His defensive stance had not faded in all the minutes it had been since Dell's exit. The strongman's hostility seemed to enrage Jimmy in a way Missa had not expected.

"I _does _matter." He said, voice like rocks. "He can't shove us around like that." Missa nodded, exhaling as she tried to offer some reassurance. In truth, she'd been as surprised as him that Dell was so rude to the people he supposedly relied on.

"Dell's not gonna last." She said, thoroughly exhausted and wanting only to get some food.

"I wouldn't be so sure." Eve piped up. "He seems like the time to put down roots." Missa shook her head.

"Then we'll cut the tree. The only reason I want to wait a bit is because I like having something to do." It was Jimmy's turn to fix her with a hard look.

"You'll regret that, Missa." He warned. Missa brushed him off.

"Probably, but I doubt it'll be because of his temper." She defended. "I'll go red on stage or I'll fall or something. It's all very temporary, Jimmy. Everything about Dell is so terribly temporary!" She exclaimed. "Now can we _please_ go get lunch?" Jimmy's look softened for a moment.

"Is that all you can think about?" He asked and ruefully, she nodded.

"Mhm. I'm starving." A strange look came to his face and he turned, looking to Eve and Suzy.

"How 'bout you?" He asked and the two women agreed.

"It's around noon." Eve said. "I think we're all hungry come lunch time." Jimmy stared at Missa again before cracking a smile.

"Alright, we go for lunch." He said. Missa frowned. He seemed strangely excited by such a simple little event such as going to the lunch tent. "I'm feeling diner food." He said and Missa's mouth fell open. "I went to one a bit before Bette Dot came around, and then you and me went there after the party." He continued as if trying to remind her. She nodded, slowly, but couldn't deny the sick feeling in her stomach.

"You're crazy." Eve said in response, Jimmy only shrugged.

"I'm sick of eating at the camp." He replied. "Let's go see who else wants to go." He, Eve and Suzy started off towards the entrance of the tent, but Missa stayed rooted in place. Looking back at the last second, Jimmy frowned.

"I can't go." She said, her voice quiet. He walked closer to her and she found it a bit hard to look him in the eye.

"Why not?" He asked and she bit her lip.

"If the cops see me-" Jimmy cut her off before he could finish his sentence.

"Oh, don't give me that." He said. "You're going. Put some sunglasses on and wait in the parking lot." While that still seemed like a terrible idea, she supposed it would be nice to reconnect with civilization. At least then she could get a taste of what she'd left behind without worrying.

_It'll be alright. _She thought. _You go back into town, get a burger and make Jimmy happy. _She trusted him, she knew he had a grip on what he was doing.

"I still think this won't end well." She tried and he shook his head.

"You've gotta come, Missa." He said. "They don't want to know us. We've got to make them. Like you said." At that, Missa nodded. She would go, she would have fun, and she would be with Jimmy.

"Alright, alright." She submitted. "I'll see you in the car lot." With that, she left the tent and went back to his trailer. From her suitcase she retrieved her sunglasses and put them on. A bit of the purple bruising could be seen around the darkened lens, but she hoped nobody noticed.

Her disguise ensured, she retraced her steps to the parking lot and was surprised to find a quarter of the troupe waiting. Paul, Eve, Suzy and Jimmy were there, along with Pepper, Salty and Toulouse. Missa flashed Jimmy a smile and slid into the backseat with Suzy and Paul. Pepper insisted that she ride up front and who was Jimmy to deny her?

Missa was quiet on the ride, going over everything that could possibly go wrong. There were more than a few situations that ended with her in jail and all of them were dreadful.

By the time Jimmy parked outside the diner, her stomach was in knots. Despite her fear, she didn't attempt to hide behind Eve or Paul as they walked in. The waitress behind the counter had her back to them, and she raised an eyebrow upon realizing that she already knew Jimmy.

Any hope that this trip would prove to him they could go out without any problems was shattered when the waitress turned around. Her million-dollar, slightly flirty smile vanished from her face upon seeing the small crowd. Swallowing a yelp as Jimmy grabbed hold of her wrist and pulled her to the front, Missa did not meet the girl's petrified gaze.

Jimmy, however, seemed not to notice the suddenly awkward tension that flooded the diner. He seemed to expect it, almost and walked towards the counter like he didn't care. Gently, he sat Missa down in the seat between him and Suzy. That was a bit of a Godsend to her, even if she was in completely plain view. Jimmy exuded confidence as he reminded everyone to use their manners. It was easy for Missa to leech off of, but she had yet to take off her sunglasses.

Smirking at how visibly uncomfortable the waitress was, Missa's tongue-in-cheek amusement boiled away to embarrassment upon a few people standing and leaving the diner. Hearing a woman sat against the wall trying to get their attention only added insult to injury. After a few clipped declarations of 'excuse me', Jimmy decided to pay attention to her.

"Is there anywhere else you can eat?" She piped. "You're upsetting my daughter." Missa rolled her eyes, glad they were hidden behind her thick frames. The little girl didn't seem upset, if anything she just looked a bit bored. Jimmy, surprisingly calm despite the woman's claims and rude request shrugged.

"I'm sure she'd love the show if she went to see it." He told her. "Tell the ticket lady Jimmy sent you." He winked over his shoulder before turning back to the waitresses behind the counter. The manager, it seemed, had come out from the kitchen and was staring the group down. "You ready to order?" He asked Missa, who nodded. In truth, she'd barely glanced at the menu, but knew what she wanted by heart.

"What do you want?" The blonde waitress snapped, pulling out a pen and paper from her belt. Eve was first to order, followed by Suzy.

"I'll have the iceberg wedge." The woman beside her said. "I'm watching my figure." Missa grimaced and shook her head as the waitress turned to her.

"Double burger and a cherry soda with chocolate ice cream." She said in response to her annoyed look. She turned to Suzy, dropping her voice. "I'm _not _watching my figure!" Giggling at her own joke, it soon turned to a grimace when Paul, seemingly upset with their cold treatment, helped himself to a plate left behind by a man who decided to leave upon their entry. It was Jimmy's turn to look embarrassed and he sighed, turning his attention to the woman to his left.

"What are you gonna have, Pepper?" He asked and her response was enthusiastic to say the least. As much as she'd decided that she didn't like the waitress, her reaction to Pepper was palpably awkward. So much so that Missa found she couldn't look at the 'normal' people she'd chosen to walk out on. Still, she didn't feel especially close to them.

While Jimmy was deciding what he would have, Paul's insistence he eat leftovers finally seemed to get on the waitress' last nerve.

"Excuse me," she began and Missa realized almost everything rude began like that, "that's not yours." She didn't get to continue her complaint, however, as a loud crashing noise like nails in a bucket rang out from the doorway.

Missa flinched and looked over her shoulder, her eyes widening behind her glasses when she saw Dell. He didn't appear to be pleased with the group and she shrunk a bit.

"Let me guess," he said to Jimmy, "this is your bright idea." He took a few steps forward and Missa, while she didn't mean to show her fear so openly, pressed herself against the counter in an effort to put some distance between herself and him. "You eat at the camp." Dell barked.

"We're not bothering anybody." Jimmy defended, putting a hand on Missa's arm. As much as she usually liked knowing he was there and in control, when confronted by the strongman his protectiveness lost its luster. The waitress saw her opportunity and took it.

"But that's not his food." She said, pointing to Paul. "I'm going to have to bus this plate." She continued, leaning over the counter. As soon as her hand was near enough, he slapped her away, causing the manager to come to her defense.

"Hey!" Missa couldn't keep her mouth shut when Dell grabbed Paul by the back of the neck. Her mouth immediately snapped shut when his glare turned to her. Shrinking in her seat, her anxiety only mounted when Jimmy pushed Dell's shoulder.

Missa wished she'd never stepped out of the field when the strongman's humiliated rage turned to him. Jimmy's hand left her arm as Dell picked up the plate Paul was eating from and sent it clattering down onto the counter in front of them. From there, everything erupted into chaos.

The manager decided to exercise his right to refuse service and Pepper's displeasure was loud and repetitive enough to force the rest of the people from the diner. Dell fumed as Jimmy attempted to fix the situation and Missa gasped when he grabbed Jimmy's shoulder in turn, pulling him to his feet and bushing him against the bar.

"You see what you did?" He seethed. "You give these folks a free show, who's gonna want to buy tickets?" Missa felt ill as he turned his back to the group. "Come on you stupid freaks, let's go." She flinched again, but moved to stand.

"Hey, stop calling us freaks!" Jimmy insisted. Part of her wished she could just tell him to shut up and leave, that his little plan had been doomed from the start. The other, perhaps smaller part of her was a bit proud of him. "We're people, just like everyone else in this joint!" Dell's anger finally piqued, he grabbed Jimmy by the arm and all but dragged him out the door.

Missa stood frozen in place for several moments, watching the fight from behind the square panes of glass set into the door. She had to pause and correct herself, as the term 'fight' implied that either side had an equal chance of winning and loosing. No, what she was looking at was a one-sided beat-down, with Jimmy on the receiving end. Before Eve could stop her, she was out in the street.

Frozen in place again, roughly six paces from the fray, Missa got a front-row view of Dell's enormous strength. In one of the many minutes she stood there looking on, Missa could've sworn she was back in her kitchen, her papa's fist falling towards her face. That memory stayed her hand until the strongman's anger ebbed away.

She moved around him when Jimmy hit the ground. She tried to dodge Dell's hand, but yelped when she felt it snake around her wrist. Missa glared daggers at him before deciding he wasn't worth it. He'd roughed up Jimmy pretty bad, but when he turned to look at her, nothing seemed broken.

"You should tell your girl when to keep to herself." Dell said. With his other hand, he snatched her glasses off her face. "But it looks like someone already did." He smirked and Missa forced herself to look away from him. "What can you tell a lady with two black eyes?" He asked, his voice mocking as he pushed her towards Jimmy. He turned, stalking away. "Nothing you haven't told her twice."

Disgusted, Missa turned to look at Jimmy. He looked just as mad as Dell, but hardly stupid enough to go after him. As much as Missa wanted to say something, she found she couldn't. Rather than trying, she held back tears and walked towards the car.

* * *

><p>Missa blinked as she brushed the mascara wand over her eyelashes, willing it to dry faster. The matinee would start in twenty minutes, or so she'd been told, and she realized she wouldn't have time to do most of her makeup if she didn't hurry.<p>

The majority of her face was a mask of foundation and cream, and all to hide her black eye and the few scattered cuts on her cheek. As much as it hurt to apply, she couldn't deny it was effective. Smiling at herself in the mirror with lips freshly-painted a dark red, she froze when she saw the reflection of someone else behind her.

She turned in her chair, her torso already aching from the corset Desiree had left for her. With it was a mesh skirt that was almost too short and a pair of fishnet stockings. An outfit that would have made Missa blush under any other circumstances seemed to fit her as well as the pumps that had also been offered up.

The look she gave Jimmy was uncomfortable at best. All of the night before her stomach twisted with regret. True, she hadn't wanted to embarrass him further in his state of post-beating humiliation, but also began to understand why he had such a hard time focusing on her when she showed up covered in her own blood.

Missa stood, pushing her skirt down and crossing the room. Before she could stop herself or ask permission, her hands were on either side of his face, examining the damage Dell had done.

"We match." She said, her voice cracking just a bit. Missa felt her grip tighten and she dropped her arms before she could squeeze her hands into fists while they were still around him. "He's going to die." Missa said quietly. "And I guarantee that if he doesn't do so soon, I'll be _happy _to speed up the process." Jimmy shook his head.

"No." He said. "None of that. You've gotta go out there and make an entire tent full of people believe you like him. Or at least don't want to murder him." Missa grimaced.

"Easier said than done." She muttered. "I don't even want to go out there any more. I thought it would be easy and relatively painless but I'm _scared_." He sighed.

"You're made of tougher stuff than that, Missa." Jimmy said. "The bastard will get what's coming to him, and I'll be damned if you have to be on stage with him other than just this once." Missa tilted her head, her brow furrowing. Jimmy shook his head again, indicating he would say no more. "You look alright." He said, gesturing to her face. Missa smiled.

"Yeah, I can clean up good when I want to." She said. "The real killer is the outfit, though." Missa admitted. "It belongs to Desiree apparently, and that might explain why the front's a little loose. And it's _not _because I'm skinnier than her!" Missa laughed, looking back to her mirror. "Is it almost show time?" She asked over her shoulder. Jimmy nodded.

"Elsa sent me to come get you." He said. Missa fluffed her hair before flashing him another smile and breezing out the door.

Dell had stirred up quite the audience, as there were more than three members to it this time. Missa felt herself shrink under the strongman's gaze when she saw him.

"What do I have to do?" She asked, her voice cold.

"Sit there, look good, and follow my lead." Missa nodded, too afraid to ask any further questions. He didn't need to say it, but Missa knew she had only one chance at this, she couldn't ruin his act.

It seemed as though Dell doubled as a master of ceremonies, as he was the one who addressed the crowd when the curtain rose. Missa's stomach tightened in fear as he gestured towards where she was supposed to enter. Forcing a smile, she strut onto the stage.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Dammit, make that four chapters an episode! Ugh, I just couldn't fit the show along with all that comes after onto the end of this! You'll see it next update, no worries!<em>**

**_As for Missa's faceclaim, since one anon reviwer asked, is Loretta Young. This is specifically for her after she cut and dyed her hair. I'm not a huge fan of her as an actress, but to me she fist Missa's physical description pretty damn well! _**

**_Oh! The song Missa sang in the last chapter is also a Billie Holiday song called 'Easy Living'. It's one hell of a song so go forth, my lovelies, to YouTube! _**

**_Have an awesome day guys and dolls! I'll see you soon!_**


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Of Beasts and Beauties

_**Chapter Thirteen: Of Beasts and Beauties**_

Missa wondered if she could break Dell's neck with her legs.

Damn did she want to find out, because with her thighs pressed against his throat the way they were now, she doubted she would ever get another chance. Despite it being a golden opportunity in a scandalous disguise, it took her a moment to realize it.

She'd walked to the strongman like she owned the stage, buying into the lights and the noise with relish. As much as she hated having all eyes on her, Missa didn't really consider the woman who's body she inhabited to be hers when Dell introduced her as his assistant, 'Pretty Miss'. Mild applause followed, but the din was deafening when the strongman lifted her as he had during rehearsal.

Missa crossed one leg over the other, folding her hands in her lap and casting a simpering glance over the crowd. As nice as the warm feeling of the stage lights were, she didn't want to see anyone she knew. Only when Dell hoisted her up on his shoulders and lifted his incredibly heavy-looking bell-bar did she dare make eye contact with anyone.

Her smile, which had been brilliant and only forty-five percent fake by that time, died on her lips when her made-up eyes met Jimmy's. Even in the shadows, the dark bruises underneath them were visible. All at once, the anger she had felt towards her papa in the kitchen and then later at Dell as she stood frozen in the parking lot came crashing down on her.

She squeezed her legs tightly around his throat, clamping down and hoping he would suffocate before he realized it was not nerves making Missa do so. Her eyes never left Jimmy.

Her grip around Dell's neck was cut short, however, when Jimmy smiled at her, as if he was only now just seeing her. The anger and rage that she felt melted away to twisting anxiety as she struggled to look like she was addressing everyone when she smiled back.

_Finally, _and Missa could've sang when he did, Dell put her down. She gave the crowd one last smile before fleeing the stage after he indicated her time was up. Her heart was beating entirely too fast and she was certain her makeup was running. Pausing only to fluff her hair in the mirror, Missa darted out of the dressing room and to the back of the crowd. She found her way outside and into the cold September air. It was such a change from the over-heated interior that she gasped and crossed her arms tightly over her chest.

The frigid air seemed to kill any remnants of the stage, which seemed to almost dull her senses. Still, Missa felt electric and hoped she would be allowed on again. Never in her life had she felt such joy at being watched, and she knew it was partly because of her little game of make-believe. As she stood outside the tent, absolutely chilled, whatever persona she'd invented to help herself through the ordeal had faded.

She was just Missa when she reentered the tent, opening the flap just behind Jimmy and snaking his arm around his. She shivered into his side and he seemed to understand. He slung an arm around her bare shoulders and she smiled.

"Did you like it?" She whispered as Dell introduced Meep. She grimaced as he bit the head off of a chick and tried to blink the sight away.

"Not bad." He replied. "You've got a good stage presence. Not great, but I don't think anyone fell asleep." Missa giggled into her hand.

"That's a good sign." She replied. "When's your time slot?" Missa noticed how much taller she was in comparison to him with her pumps on. Not by much, however, as she only now could look at him at eye-level. Without them she had to crane her neck a bit merely to speak to him.

"Not happening today." He said. "Elsa pulled me out, she's got a job for me." Missa frowned.

"Damn, I was looking forward to it." Her disappointment was genuine, but Jimmy still smiled as if he didn't quite believe her.

"It's mostly for the kids." He said. "And it's not even _that _much of a talent. Anyone can do it." Missa smirked in turn, batting him lightly on the chest.

"If it's so easy, you'll teach me." She insisted and he shook his head.

"No time, Pretty Miss." Missa grimaced and faux-gagged.

"Ugh, can you believe him? There are a million other directions he could've gone!" Her voice reached a new pitch all while staying just below a whisper. Jimmy shook his head again.

"Better than Lobster Boy." He replied. Missa's look of disgust deepened.

"You know I hate that so much, right?" She told him. "Completely wrong, too." Missa added as an after thought. If Jimmy said anything in return, she didn't hear it over Dell's announcement of the twins. Inside, Missa perhaps the most excited she'd ever been in her life. Dot hardly ever got the spotlight, and she was happy for her.

Missa's love that Dot finally clawed her way to the spotlight was not mutual in her sister, however. The poor thing looked like she wanted to run off the stage as fast as she could. Her face contorted in uncertainty and shame at singing background vocals, Missa's heat lurched.

She knew Bette was the sunny one, the one who loved the stage and preforming. It was dramatic irony in its purest form that she had no talent. Missa kept her face blank after her initial glee, wanting to show support without undermining the other.

"Aren't they incredible?" Missa whispered and Jimmy nodded. His bright face dimmed, however, when Dell walked over.

"Not bad out there." He said to her, completely ignoring Jimmy and his bruises. Missa felt her stomach drop as she nodded in thanks. Still rather chilled, Missa nearly let out an audible whine as he let go of her arm, looking to Elsa behind them before sweeping out of the tent.

Missa kept her eyes on the German woman and her hard-set mouth. She did not look pleased with the success of Dot, if anything she looked upset. All at once, what Ethel had warned her about returned to her memory. Missa was suddenly very glad she could not sing, but was riddled with worry for the sisters.

Elsa's rage at the crowd's enthusiasm ended there. A group of teenagers no younger than sixteen were so enthralled by Dot's strange song that they left their seats! Missa giggled and looked on, only cringing a bit when she noticed the shocked faces of their parents.

Part of her wished she had been that much of an embarrassment to her papa, if only it meant she could have had a bit of fun.

The curtain closing was met with loud applause and Dot beaming ear-to-ear. It was a beautiful sight, one only paralleled by Missa's want to join the likely wonderful after party. Giving a final glance out of the tent where Jimmy disappeared, Missa left through the back.

* * *

><p>Missa sat in her bathrobe, reclined in a chair and smoking with Eve. As ratty as the ugly robe was, she did feel a bit glamorous, especially in wake of her first performance.<p>

"Uh oh." Eve said after a drag. Smoke blew in Missa's face as she coughed. "Someone's got it _bad_." Missa snorted in a rather unladylike way and raised an eyebrow.

"Got what?" She asked. The answer came from behind her.

"The stage bug." Jimmy replied. "I'm surprised, I thought Bette and Dot were the record setters." Missa smiled at him and shifted in her seat.

"Please, let me have this." She said. "I'll strut around in my bathrobe smoking _way _too much for a few days, then I'll be right back to normal!" Laughing, Missa took another drag and sighed. "I think it was too much fun." She said honestly, putting her cigarette in the ash tray. Jimmy shook his head.

"Nah, you weren't bad." He told her. "It's different when you're on stage, I guess. Elsa usually hides me up in the rafters. I like it better that way." Missa shrugged and looked to her lap.

"I thought so too." She mumbled, unsure where her new found love for the attention of a crowd had come from. The quiet celebration did not last for very long before Missa was jerked back to reality. The sound of blaring sirens alerted the arrival of the policeman before she'd gotten a chance to see them. As Jimmy had told her to do so the other day, she dropped her head and tried to look inconspicuous.

One officer waved a warrant in Elsa's face like a trophy when she emerged. The woman's face was shocked and entirely too full of barely-suppressed rage for Missa's liking. The others fanned out, but they all decided on one goal.

Dell's trailer was to be searched for evidence of... a missing officer? Missa felt her stomach drop. She wished she'd covered her ears or _something _to keep her from hearing that. Missa had been good at blocking out what she did not want to hear a few days before, she only wished she'd remembered it. Putting her head down, Missa again felt sick to her stomach.

A man had went missing here, and that opened new questions of _why_. As much as Missa didn't want to think about it, she knew she had to know. Standing, she walked over to Jimmy, coming up behind him and slipping her hand into his. Part of her knew he had nothing to do with this, but part of her knew he did.

The man had apparently been missing for several days, which made no sense if Dell was the one who killed him. She felt another wave of nausea in her chest as she realized that the 'missing' officer likely _was_ already dead.

"Hey," she began. "I want to know what's going on." She mumbled, focusing on the way she could best fit her hand in his without offending him and reminding him they didn't match. Missa didn't want to think about what he would tell her, because he _would _if he wanted her to stay. He gave her an agitated look and pulled away from her. His eyes were hard as he mouthed 'later'.

From behind him, Desiree ran shrieking from the trailer, yelling for Dell to explain. The man seemed so mad with anger that he couldn't speak, and merely glared at Jimmy openly. Missa had to admit he _did _look rather smug, which soon changed when an officer emerged saying he'd found no evidence. Jimmy turned to Missa and gripped her shoulders.

"They're going to search the place." He said, his voice a whisper. "Get out of here and hide. I'll come find you when they're gone." Nodding, Missa tried her best to look discreet as she headed away from the entrance to the field and towards the woods.

* * *

><p>It was nice underneath the leaves, and the cool air swept over her skin, raising goosebumps. Missa shivered and wrapped her arms tighter around her, hoping the cops would leave quickly. Leaning against a tree, she sighed and slid down to the grass. Yawning, she realized how tired she was from the matinee. She was called back to a better time when she would nearly fall asleep on the car ride home after spending the day watching the rehearsal. As much as she didn't like the effort it required, Missa was glad to be doing something of use.<p>

Still, she wished she'd killed Dell while she had the chance.

In the back of her mind, she watched him pull Jimmy to the street again, and her blood boiled. Why had no one stopped him? Why hadn't _she _stopped him? The answer was simple, she was terrified. As much as it made her uncomfortable to know that she feared someone so much, she knew he was better to have around than not.

If her father couldn't tell the police where she'd run, there was no doubt in her mind he would come to her the second he could. Were he to do that, she knew the only chance she would have would be Dell. True, he seemed utterly terrible, but his fighting skills were the best she had seen. Her father would not stand a chance against him, and maybe then she could be free.

Missa watched the sky as it grew darker. Hours passed and Jimmy did not come for her. Deciding it was best to stay near the edge of the forest, she did not walk in any further. The cold began to seep into her joints, making them ache as much as her feet did after a day in pumps. While her shoes were hardly flat by then, she found she liked being taller and had worn them after the show.

Bored and exhausted, Missa stood, using the tree as leverage. She froze, however, when she heard a sound to her left. Turning sharply, she barely noticed a flash of dull gray out of the corner of her eye. It was peppered with dim reds and oranges, but she was certain she saw something. Stepping carefully out of her shoes, Missa bent down to pick them up. It was then she knew something was watching her. Taking a sharp breath in, she turned and ran out of the woods, the feeling of eyes on her back the entire time.

She was out of breath when she found herself in the field again. The lights from the tents were warm, and she felt safe the moment she stepped through the devil's mouth. Panting, she passed everyone by, not bothering to answer where she had been.

"Paul?" Missa asked, he turned and seemed surprised to see her. "The cops gone?" She continued and he nodded.

"Yeah, about two hours ago." He replied and she nearly growled. For whatever reason, Jimmy had not come to get her. Rolling her eyes, she thanked him and rushed off. Only when she was several paces away did a terrible thought cross her mind.

Had Jimmy been arrested? Her ribs seized against her suddenly fast-beating heart. If he had, she didn't know what she would do. Turning, she tried to call out to Paul and ask him, but he was already gone. Fear fueling her actions, Missa nearly ran to his trailer. She let herself in, her stomach sinking when she found the lights off and his bed empty.

Missa refused to collapse into despair, certain he had to be somewhere else in the field.

_He could not have been arrested_, she told herself, _he's done nothing wrong!_

Rushing back out into the cold night air, Missa shed her robe and shoes by his door and wished she'd worn something warmer than the dress she'd chosen. It covered more than the outfit chosen for her by Desiree, then again, everything did, but she still felt afraid and vulnerable as she searched for him.

Retracing her steps, Missa ducked into the big top in an attempt to escape the cold. Rubbing her hands together, she looked to the stage. Exhaling loud enough to get his attention, Missa nearly ran to the steps by the stage. All of her efforts to find him seemed to be in vain, for there Jimmy was, lying on his back and staring at her with dark eyes.

Miss stood over him, glowering and clenching her jaw. She told herself she wouldn't shout at him, no matter how angry she was.

"You never came for me." She said. "I was worried something terrible had happened to you." Jimmy shook his head as she knelt down. He looked strange, unfocused but not tired. Her eyes went to his side and she gasped. Perhaps something awful did. "Have you been drinking?" She whispered. Jimmy raised an eyebrow before lifting the bottle of whiskey to eye-level. Missa froze upon seeing there was not much left.

Distantly she remembered her father warning her against trying hard liquor for the first time on her own. He'd always been accepting of her and her choices, and didn't mind that she didn't drink. He did, however, give her advice about it. He told her whiskey, in fact all spirits, hit you hard.

Missa looked back to Jimmy, her hear sinking when she noticed he looked like he'd been punched again.

"Give it." She said, reaching for the bottle. He shook his head and jerked his arm away from her when she attempted to take it by force. "What the hell happened?" She hissed under her breath, her annoyance seeping into her blood as she watched him bring the bottle to his lips.

"Don't." He said. "Don't ask." Missa glared hard at him as he coughed. She did not pity him, she hated him in that moment, and how much of a hypocrite he appeared to be. Her eyes hardened and she shook her head. Trying again to retrieve the bottle, she failed once more as Jimmy closed a hand around her wrist.

"I _will _ask." She said. "What happened with the police? Why were they hear in the first place?" Jimmy shook his head again, pulling her arm so hard towards him she nearly lost her balance. She nearly landed on top of him, wincing as she scraped her knee along the wood beneath her in an effort to catch herself.

The hand on her wrist soon changed to an arm around her waist. Missa gasped and tried to pull away, this only seemed to make his grip tightened.

"Jimmy?" She asked. "Jimmy, please you're hurting me-" he didn't seem to be listening, however, as he nearly crushed her against his chest.

"Don't." He said again. "Don't ask the wrong questions." When he spoke next, it sounded like he was pleading with her as much as she was him. "Don't ask, Missa." It was her turn to shake her head as she braced her hands against his chest, pushing away from him as hard as she could.

He let her go and she staggered backwards, landing on her back and crying out as pain erupted between her shoulder blades. Whimpering, she sat up, brushing her hair from her eyes. Jimmy was sitting up, staring at her with tired eyes.

Jimmy mumbled something she did not catch when she sat up as well. The moment she was in reach, his hand shot out, touching the tips of her new hair. In a moment of make-believe, Missa shut her eyes and tried to pretend she had simply found him sober, and that he had never told her to run from the cops. It made his hand feel so much nicer.

When she did open her eyes, Ethel was there, asking what the hell was going on. Missa didn't need to answer, mostly because she wasn't being spoken to. His hand left her hair and Missa barely noticed that they'd began talking in raised voices.

"He's not gonna be able to spend a night in jail, mama. He's not tough, just weird." Jimmy said. This seemed to snap Missa from her trance. She looked to Ethel, hoping she would explain.

"Who won't?" She asked in a quiet voice. Missa could still feel Jimmy's hand on her spine, crushing her.

"The police left a while ago," Ethel began, holding on to her son's arm like a lifeline. "They found the missing officer's badge under Meep's bedroll. They arrested him." Missa's mouth fell open.

"No." She said. "He didn't do anything!" Her voice rang throughout the tent, but she had to wonder if she was right.

"I have to tell them everything." Jimmy said. Missa looked up, realizing that this was the first time he sounded sober. She watched from the stage as he kissed Ethel's cheek as in goodbye, shrugging her off when she hurried after him. Missa followed as well, not certain what he meant but wanting to find out.

A blinding light attacked her eyes upon exit from the devil's mouth. Wherever Jimmy was going, he seemed to have him mind set on it, and did not slow despite his inebriated state. Missa nearly missed the thump of a body hitting the ground, but it reached her ears, filling her with fear. She turned away from the two as Jimmy knelt down beside the burlap sack thrown at his feet.

Missa barely made it five steps before the rage-filled shouts reached her ears. She knew what Jimmy had seen, but made no move to return to his side. She kept walking, tears blurring her vision until she finally sank to her knees and let them flow down her face.

Missa tried to tell herself that she felt because she wasn't used to walking in high heels, despite the fact she'd left them behind. Even she knew she was lying.

* * *

><p><em><strong>EEE I've now got a blotch on my record! I'm sorry I didn't update yesterday but apathy happened and I did other things instead! <strong>_

_**To the nonnie who's going through some rough stuff, I hope this chapter is good and makes you feel better. Just picture me hugging you!**_

_**Also to the nonnie who's been using Laura Osnes as pre-cut!Missa, all the yes! There it is people, in the books, that's Missa!**_

_**As for the person who requested this story not be a love triangle, we're going to have to see what the writers do with Maggie Esmeralda. If their relationship is anything like last season's *shudder*, I don't really know. That said, if they are very much like Missa and Jimmy, will any of you even want to read this any more? Ugh, confliction!**_

_**I hope you guys have a badass day and I'll see you on Thursday! I probably won't update tomorrow and when I do, it probably won't be with what happened on the episode depending on whether or not they show the time-jump from September to October!**_


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Hack and Slash

_**Chapter Fourteen: Hack and Slash**_

"Does it hurt?" Missa asked, touching Jimmy's forehead. The pain of the night before had not been easy to bear, especially for him. In addition to that, Missa noted with no small amount of pity, it had been the first time he'd ever drank. Her stomach twisted when she remembered just how _much _he had as well, making his hangover the next day absolutely dreadful.

"I'm fine." He replied, his voice still hoarse. Missa tutted and sat down on the bed, wondering if she should close the window. Ethel had been in an out all morning, casting mixed looks of worry and disappointment at her son. Missa knew she didn't have the right knowledge to judge him on his behavior, and so she tried not to as she swept in to take over from his mother when she had to leave.

The first thing Ethel did was shove all the windows open, letting in the late-September air. For at last an hour she'd schooled her on the proper cures for hangovers, and what were the most effective. A few Missa even recognized as ones her papa told her about. It made her smile a bit in a nostalgic way that made her head hurt at the same time.

Missa wondered if she'd ever be able to wash her hands of that man, and if she even missed him at all. She knew the answer to both was a flat 'no', yet she still liked asking. She supposed she hoped the answer would change, but it never did.

She hated her father, and all his lies, but part of her remembered the holidays with him, and how he'd trim the tree or walk with her when she went trick-or-treating.

Missa's heart skipped a beat at the promise of October, and Halloween which would greet her at the end of it. She'd never liked it as much as Christmas, but enjoyed the candy and the make-believe all the same.

"You're an awful liar." Missa told him, her voice dropping to just above a whisper. Her concern over his personal comfort made her raise it in the first place, which only made him wince even more. Looking guilty, she ran her hand from his forehead to his cheek in a gesture of comfort. "At least you weren't vomiting all night." She smiled, letting her hand gravitate back to her lap.

"Is that how to scare you off?" Jimmy said, likely teasing her. Still, her chest clenched and she wondered if she was only adding to his burden. Noticing her distress, he quickly added; "Not that I want to. But between you and mama, I feel like I'm being coddled." Missa shrugged.

"You deserve it." She said, her voice gentle. "Last night was rough." At this, Jimmy turned, looking away from Missa and instead out the window. She wanted to touch his cheek again, tell him it wasn't his fault. Her hand stayed in her lap.

"He needed protecting." Jimmy said. "I failed, and now Meep's dead." Missa sighed, shaking her head. Despite her mind telling her she shouldn't, she placed her hand on the side of his face, gently pulling his eyes away from the window and back to her.

"Listen to me," she began, "nothing that happened last night was your fault." Her fingers moved to his jaw line, gently drawing circles on his skin with the pad of her thumb. Jimmy, however, didn't seem to believe her. "No, it _wasn't_." She insisted, her grip tightening a fraction. Missa did not want to hurt him, and thus withdrew her hand.

_Like talking to a brick wall. _Missa thought, her voice as bitter as could be. Jimmy was quiet for a long time, long enough for Ethel to come back in with cold compress. She gave Missa and tired smile as she placed it under his head, where he said it hurt the worst.

"He'll be good as new by dinner, if not before." She told Missa, who nodded. "Ever had a hangover this bad?" Ethel asked, Missa shook her head.

"Normally I don't touch the stuff but once in a while I do. I've never had a hangover before." Missa politely declined when she was invited to join Ethel for a smoke, pinning the blame on how much her back hurt. "I think I threw it out from the show yesterday." She replied, explaining it away. While that seemed to sit with her, it did not with her son.

"Did I grab you that hard?" He asked and she shook her head. The last thing she wanted was to make him feel worse than he did. Besides, the mark was barely noticeable.

"Not _that _hard." She said. "But even if you did, I'd forgive you. You were drunk and sad and-" She cut herself off, playing with a loose string on her dress.

"I missed your red hair." He said after a moment, catching her off guard. "I remember touching it last night, it's 'cause I was missin' how it used to be." At that, Missa blanched a bit.

"Personally, I like it." She told him. "I like it better. It keeps me safe _and _it's something new. What more could I ask for?" Her voice erred on the side of emotionless, not wanting him to know just how upset she was. As much as it hurt her to cut away what remained of her old life, she forced herself to learn to love the new her.

In reality, she couldn't stand how she looked. In reality she wanted her old hair back, hell, her old _life _back. As much as she loved the show and as much as she adored the new friends she'd made, she wanted to make eggs for her father in the morning and visit him after shopping with Lily.

Missa hated how she couldn't decide what she wanted, how she'd told herself this departure from the dragging normalcy of her life was the best thing that could've happened to her. Still, the longer she stayed, Missa began to see that the show was like a vacation. Nice to watch, but not where to stay if you didn't belong.

She thought she'd found her place as Dell's little showgirl, but all the did was muddy the waters between who she wanted to trust. They were keeping secrets from her, secrets that she wished would come into the light. The sooner the better, she'd decided, especially given how free she'd been with her information.

"Why were the police here?" She asked, her voice no longer death-like and still. It sounded like the breath was being stolen from her body, like she didn't want to ask. Missa knew she had to, she had to ask the wrong questions, the ones she didn't want the answers to. She had to stop hiding and, if need be, escape before it was too late.

"Do we have to-" She cut him off with a sharp look that quickly softened. How could she ask this of him when he was still grieving for the loss of his friend. Missa shook her head, her eyes downcast.

"No." She said. "I suppose we don't have to right now." As much as she had her suspicions about what had happened, and as much as she knew she needed to know, she didn't want to break whatever it was they had.

Missa gave him a cautious smile, one he returned. He looked relieved, but not visibly. It put her on edge, but she tried her damnedest not to mind, for both their sakes.

She wouldn't ask him anything that day, or tomorrow for that matter. Jimmy was special, far too special for her to go and ruin with her big mouth.

* * *

><p>As September bled into October in a haze of matinees and bright colors, Missa couldn't help the mounting feeling like she'd never even left home. She slept on Jimmy's couch when she was so tired she could barely stand, and when she could, she never did on her own feet. Missa knew it wasn't because Dell was lifting her in the show that she didn't feel independent. She didn't have wages, but also didn't have to worry about paying for food or a place to rest.<p>

It was mid-October when Missa asked if she could have her own tent.

Elsa had agreed, and Missa even joked that Jimmy could get his sofa back. He smiled, but with his teeth and not his eyes.

Bette and Dot promised they'd visit as often as they could, as new ideas for songs kept them busy often. Missa had noticed quite the change in Dot as well as Bette. The pretty ladies were becoming less lovely by the day. Bette's jealousy was obvious, while Dot's new found love of the spotlight brought her out of her shell in a mostly uncomfortable way.

Missa liked to remember the lost little girls at the drive-in when she looked at them now. The show had changed them, and for better or for worse, she couldn't tell. Whether it would change, her however, was to be discussed.

Compared to Elsa's five-room suite, hers was a shack. She supposed it was because she wasn't much of a star. Packing had been a breeze, given how she only had one suitcase, but that didn't seem to stop Jimmy when she went back to his trailer.

"I don't need help." She said softly as he handed Missa her sweater. He'd been silent thus far, much in the same way she had. "Besides, I'll be right next door. Maybe you can sleep on my couch sometime." She flashed him a grin, one that she felt deep in her chest. Missa thought she saw the ghost of one on his face in return, but couldn't be sure.

In a way, she understood his silence. Maybe he thought she didn't want to be around him after the problem with the police. He wouldn't be wrong if he did, but not completely right, either.

"Listen, Jimmy," she began once the clasps on her suitcase were clenched tight. "I lived in my papa's house for twenty years. I've never had my own place to call home and now I think I can." She crossed the room, gathering up his hand in hers. It gave her comfort, but she had to wonder if it had the same effect on him.

"You want to be free." He stated and Missa nodded.

"Right on the money." She confirmed. "I'm not going far, it's just another tent." Silently, she wondered why he cared so much about it. "I hope you're not too upset." Jimmy shook his head, surprise on his face.

"No!" He said. "No, I'm happy you want this without me havin' to force you out!" Missa laughed and she was delighted to find it relieved some of the pressure in her chest. She was glad he was alright, because the last thing she wanted was to make him feel like she was afraid of him.

The conversation ran dry quickly, however, and she went back to checking her baggage over. Certain she had everything she needed, she turned and sat on the kitchen table, her face contorting to slightly sad.

"I take it Meep's gonna be buried soon?" She asked, her voice light. Jimmy stiffened, but nodded soon after. Just talking about him made the man upset, but Missa wanted to know.

"Yeah. Once we can free up some time, we'll bury him in the field, somewhere in the back." Missa nodded, a wave of sadness sweeping over her like a sickness.

"I'm sorry." She said. "I just still don't think I can believe he's gone." Jimmy, his jaw clenched, looked at her with a humorless smile.

"I sure as hell can." He deadpanned, making Missa flinch. He'd been the one to get the first look at the poor man, while Missa sank into the dirt and couldn't bear to see him. The rest of the troupe's sounds of grief still rang in her ears sometimes, with Jimmy's being the loudest of all.

"You know what?" Missa asked. "I miss him a lot." Jimmy's smile faded, but perhaps became a bit more genuine.

"You and me both." He replied. "Come on, let's get your things set up."

Missa knew her tent was of livable size, even if it was on the one-room-and-tiny side. Her bed was a creaky old thing, but it wasn't Jimmy's sofa, which was a plus. She finally had a dresser to unpack her things into, as well as a mirror on top. Her own sofa was placed near the door, along with a table. A few movie magazines lay on top, apparently housewarming gifts from Bette. It made Missa smile and wonder if she should take the two out again.

It was a simpler time when she took them to the movies, she only wished there was more she could do with them. Dancing, as fun as it was, would not be a possible activity. Aside from that, Missa wondered if _she _could go dancing. It had been her favorite thing to do with Lily on a boring Friday night.

She'd never have anybody to dance with except her friend, but it didn't matter that only boys with girlfriends went. Missa had a good time and managed to beat out any anxiety she might've had.

Now, Missa was practically writhing with it, and knew that she needed to express it. The lights on stage were just another way to hide, and relieved none of her tension. She was close to being free now, all she needed to do was rediscover herself.

Part of Missa wanted to ask Jimmy to go too. She wanted to feel his hands on her waist without him trying to crush her. Despite how he hurt her a bit, she liked being that close to him. She liked being with him. However, the last thing she wanted was to spoil whatever tentative friendship she'd painstakingly built between them. He had not made it easy, and she was certain he wouldn't change if she made a mess of things.

So Missa kept quiet. She practiced her dancing steps, for sure, and even dug out her favorite dress from the bottom of her suitcase. It didn't mean she had the guts to ask him out, or realize that she liked him a hell of a lot more than just as a friend.

It made her heart skip to think about it, so she didn't until the end of October rolled around. It was then she was confronted with it, when the freak show found a new act.

* * *

><p><strong><em>This chapter's the shortest and I'm actually so sorry about that! Still, I wanted a bridge chapter where dumb little Missa could realize her dumb little girl feelings for Jimmy! She's never going to admit it to herself, because she's so stubborn, but hopefully something will push her!<em>**

**_I'm glad that the smooch-advocates are sticking around despite the slow build-and-burn that usually happens with my stories! I hope it's worth it! As for whether I'll be going on past this season, we'll have to see, won't we?!_**

**_Next chapter will resume normal length and likely be posted on Saturday! These once-a-day updates are getting waaaaay too challenging for me!_**

**_Have an awesome day you guys, and praise everything because Wes Bentley is perfect and Edward Mordrake is perfect and I can't wait for _that _conversation! _**


	15. Chapter Fifteen: A Hole in the Heart

_**Chapter Fifteen: A Hole in the Heart**_

Missa turned Ethel's words over in her head for an hour after the woman had left the big top. She had to admit, she'd been having fun before Bette drew attention to how much Jimmy was hurting.

The entire tent was a mess, with half-drunk and completely-drunk performers cheering and toasting to the arrival of the end-of-October holiday. Halloween came faster than Missa expected, and internally she was jumping for joy.

Eve and Ma Petite were carving a pumpkin while Salty and Pepper ran around to their hearts content. Everyone had more than a bit of alcohol in their systems, but Missa had managed only to have a few swallows.

She'd looked like a deer caught in the headlights when Paul handed her a flask of something. Missa supposed it couldn't kill her if she tried it, and took it from his outstretched hand. Whatever it was, it burned a path down her throat and nearly made her forget she had a tongue.

Blinking, she handed it back to him and shook her head. It was then that Jimmy came in. Missa turned around, giving him a sluggish smile and a wave. She wanted him to sit with her, and it nearly escaped her sightly frayed mind that he was covered in dirt and looking like he was running low on energy.

He spoke to Dot and Bette, who'd yet to join the party. Dot looked like she had a stick stuck up her spine while Bette seemed to want to join the fun. 'Fun' being bobbing for apples and carving pumpkins, something Missa hadn't done since she was a little girl. Still, she stuck by her sister, politely declining any invitations.

Missa laughed at something Eve said, helping herself to an orange-frosted cupcake. It had been ages since she had proper sweets, and she'd always had a soft spot for them. She put it down, however, when she saw Jimmy sink into a folding chair, slightly away from the fun. Her heart went out to him, but she'd never felt this included before in anything in the show.

She only stopped cackling when Dot -and sub-sequentially Bette- stood, looking mad as a hornet. Her face contorted in pain, she asked how they could possibly be celebrating when they would have to bury Meep in just a few hours. It made Missa's face fall to remember that terrible night, and she supposed it shamed everyone else too, for they shut up right quick.

Bette seemed embarrassed by her sister's outburst, but Missa agreed with her. She didn't know Meep that well, but it was common courtesy to care when someone passed away.

"Maybe even dedicate the show to him today." Dot's suggestion made Missa perk up a bit.

"That's a good idea." She replied, sitting up straighter, looking over her shoulder at Jimmy. Her chest contracted when she saw he'd put his head in his hands. Missa turned back to Paul when he scoffed.

"The show?" He asked like it couldn't believe it.

"It's Halloween." Eve said, in a way that would have been explanatory if not for the unspoken yet deafening _'idiot' _on the end. Missa made a face.

"Right, Halloween." She said, sarcasm dripping from her words. "Because of that reason I know nothing about." Rolling her eyes, Missa sat back. Right on time, Ethel walked in, ready to explain exactly _why _to the uninitiated Bette, Dot and Missa.

* * *

><p><em>Two faces. <em>Missa thought, staring at the pine box they'd lowered into the six-foot deep hole Jimmy had dug out. He'd apparently spent most of the morning doing it to, making Missa wish she'd been there to help him. She wasn't handy with a shovel, but she knew there had to have been _something _she could've done.

Crowded around the grave was Eve, hiding a sad expression behind dark cat-eye sunglasses, holding Ma Petite as Missa noticed she often did. Pepper and Salty held hands on the other side, next to Paul. All three looked somber. Suzy was beside Eve, her eyes downcast. Missa took her place next to Jimmy, but didn't try to comfort him as he said his eulogy from memory, likely making it up as he went. It was still genuine, however. If anything, Missa was quite moved.

She hadn't known Meep very well, but no one deserved what he'd gotten. Missa still held the belief that he hadn't done anything to the officer very close to her heart. It was burrowing a hole there, she noticed, her want to dismiss anything that incriminated her friends. Still, she knew better. She knew he didn't do anything, and that was enough.

Swallowing and clutching her parasol a bit tighter, she retrieved the bloody head of a chick from the brown paper bag that Jimmy brought.

"But we know this man, and he wasn't one of them. He was better." Missa sighed, nodding and choosing to forget the slightly sticky, thoroughly cold blood on her fingers.

Paul took out his flask again, taking a sip before passing it to Salty. Missa watched as everyone threw their respective chick head into the grave. Hers hit the top of the casket with a dull thud, it echoed in her heart, in the little hole Meep had dug as she took a drink from the flask.

Jimmy poured his share straight on to the wood, proving to Missa he didn't intend to drink again any time soon. With his background, and the way he looked at Ethel when she drained her cup of whiskey, she knew he wouldn't make the same mistake twice. He looked so pale and upset when she told him she was ending her several years dry.

Missa had to wonder what could've possibly thrown her back on the train, but knew it was likely something horrible. Something horrible named Dell. She'd alluded more than once to knowing the strongman before he rolled into their field, but wouldn't say much about it. Missa had grown to like the Baltimore woman very much, and didn't like that she too was keeping secrets.

Jimmy, Salty and Paul were layering the earth over the casket when the cab pulled up. The dirt that was flying through the air became less erratic as she stuck his shovel in the ground, looking like he'd kill whoever stepped out. Missa tried to catch his eye, but he avoided her. She shrunk into her skin a bit, letting her mind wander as he went to investigate.

_Two... faces?_ She thought again, her thoughts going back to Edward Mordrake. Ethel's ghost story had nearly chilled her to the bone when the woman told it. Missa wasn't much for being frightened on Halloween, as odd as that was, and she almost wished she hadn't heard it.

Gullible as she could be, however, Missa didn't think it was true. Preforming on the 31st of October would summon a century-old ghost back from hell? She didn't find it likely.

_Still, a demon face. _Inwardly, Missa shuddered. If she had one of those, well, she doubted she would've lasted until twenty-three. That was when Ethel said he snapped and murdered everyone in his troupe, right before hanging himself.

She tried to keep from noting that he would've been only three years older than her at the time, but she told herself he wasn't real to begin with. It didn't make the notion any less terrifying, that she'd be taken to hell and forced to join a new troupe of freaks.

Then again, she reminded herself that she _wasn't _a freak, that nobody in the show was freak despite what Elsa insisted. Still, in the plainest, sense, there was nothing wrong with her, or with the woman who stepped out of the yellow cab.

Her bags were at her feet, and her hair was as blonde as Missa had ever seen. She took her glasses off, biting her florescent red lips and rocking back and forth on the heels of her teal shoes. She was beautiful, Missa noted, and it seemed Jimmy did to.

The crowd dispersed as Jimmy did not appear to be coming back. Paul and Salty finished covering the grave and Missa watched as Suzy, Eve, Ma Petite and Pepper all headed back towards their tents. Missa stared at the flat, loose earth for a few moments after. It didn't seem fair that there was controversy around whether or not they should be allowed to place a headstone. The only reason why they'd buried him in the field at all was because the locals didn't want Meep in their graveyard.

Missa bit her lip, deciding now was the time to make up for never getting a look at Meep after they brought him back to his family. She didn't even know if he _had _any family outside the troupe, but she doubted it. His entire world had revolved around preforming and doing what he loved. Missa found a stone, flat and smooth, and decided that would have to do.

She placed it at the head of the patch of earth, wishing she could carve something into it. It was hardly a headstone fit for a friend, which Missa considered him nonetheless, but her hands were tied. Standing, she brushed off her dress and turned towards the camp.

Her wandering was aimless, and she seemed to drift between reality and a day-dream. Her steps were idle, her eyes clouded. Missa was stuck in another world, one where ghosts came back to earth, and had evil heads that smiled.

Why the Mordrake tale had spooked her so, she didn't know. Ethel seemed to believe it was true, she even said that one of the carnies she knew in her past was taken by him. Missa was certain it was utter foolishness, but wondered if she should go visit her in case.

* * *

><p>Missa sighed as she stepped off the wooden stairs. Ethel was not in her brightly-colored caravan, but Missa's curiosity was hardly sated. Setting off again, she paused only to ask if anyone had seen where Jimmy's mother had gone.<p>

In the end, she found the son, but not his mama.

On his arm was the blonde lady from before. Her smile was painted with thick, red lipstick, and her eyes seemed to be darting from freak to freak, honed in with scrutiny and disgust. It made Missa uncomfortable when those eyes turned to her.

Jimmy called out to her, and she twisted around, brushing dark hair behind her ears. He raised a hand in greeting, and she couldn't help but beam. He'd been so sad, so closed-off to her for days now. She didn't care if his mood changed faster than a light being switched on and off, she was just happy to have him back.

"This here is Miss Missa." Jimmy said when she was close enough. Perhaps the new woman thought the delighted smile on Missa's face was meant for her, for she was friendly enough in greeting.

"Esmeralda. I'm the new fortune-teller." She said, her voice held confusion vacant from her face. Missa knew she was wondering what was wrong with her, if she was hiding something under her skirt. Titling her head, she looked Esmeralda in the eye. She kept on smiling, but it changed a bit. She thought the woman was good enough to keep intrigue below the surface, but she was wrong. Missa could see it in her eyes.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Dell's girl-" Cutting herself off, Missa sighed. She brought a hand to her face, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. She needed to learn to rephrase that. "Well not _his _girl, but the girl he uses in his act. He's the strongman." At this, the intrigue faded.

"So you don't..." Missa shook her head, pleased that at least the woman was kind enough to be sensitive.

"No. I was puzzlin' over what I should do here and he, quite literally, swept me off my feet." Esmeralda seemed to relax a bit, and Missa noticed that only her finger tips touched Jimmy's arm. She seemed to want to keep her hands as far away as possible. After a brief lull in conversation, Jimmy swept in to the rescue. Which one he intended to save, however, Missa didn't know.

"I was going to get Esmeralda all set up before taking her into town. She needs to make a call. If you wanted to come, we could take the car instead of the bike." Missa knew how much Jimmy loved his bike, and also how his attitude shift was hardly a coincidence. Her smile faltering, she shook her head.

"Nah, it's alright, you take her for a spin. I don't like going fast, but you'll have fun." Missa hid her disappointment with a smile so thin she could feel her unpainted mouth underneath it. It made her feel sick to lie to Jimmy's face, but what else could she do?

In truth, Missa wouldn't know if she liked to go fast on a motorbike. Jimmy had never taken her out on it, and she had never asked. Missa thought about how she wanted to take him dancing, but he didn't seem to care too much for it. Granted, she never did work up the courage to find out.

Nodding and smiling, Missa was a bit disappointed that neither one knew where Ethel was. In Esmeralda's defense, she didn't know _who _Ethel was anyway.

Down by the water, in an old folding chair sat Ethel. The breeze was nice and gentle, with just the right amount of chill to shake what little alcohol Missa had in her system away. She came up behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

The woman seemed melancholy, like she'd lost something she missed real bad. Missa didn't like asking about things people didn't want to tell her, and stayed quiet for a few minutes.

"How you doing?" She asked, breaking the silence, walking around to look her in the eye. Ethel looked worse for wear, but brushed her off.

"Grand as can be." She replied, taking a sip from the small bottle in her hand.

"Oh," Missa began, "you're really gettin' back into it, then?" Ethel snapped the lid over the clear flask, her eyes just as hard.

"I don't see how that's any of your business." She replied. Missa flinched, supposing she deserved that.

"I guess it's not, but it just seems a bit odd that you're doing this... now." Ethel fixed her with a cold look, but didn't answer. "Believe it or not, I didn't come here to fight." At that, she looked away. "I won't ask no more questions about you if you'll answer something else."

"What?" Ethel asked and Missa took a breath.

"Tell me more about Edward Mordrake." She requested. Ethel sat forward, raising an eyebrow. The woman scoffed and the faint ghost of a smile curled into her mouth.

"Why did I think you'd be the one to ask me that?" Missa shrugged.

"'Cause Bette and Dot are non-believers and everyone else has heard it a hundred times?" Missa guessed. At that, a real smile came to Ethel's face.

"Somethin' like that, I suppose." She replied. "Alright, I tell it to you again, if that's what you want." Missa nodded, biting her lip and moving to sit down on the slightly damp grass. To an outside observer, Ethel could've been her mama.

That thought struck Missa with blinding force as Ethel recounted the tale, throwing in an extra detail Miss was certain wasn't true. She'd spent most of her life without a mother, and it occurred to her how different her life could've been if Ethel had raised her instead of her papa.

She wanted Jimmy to be happy, even if she'd been cold to him that morning about him wanting to leave. There was no doubt in her mind that he never would so long as Ethel drew breath, but Missa wondered if under all that bitterness, Ethel truly did want him to go.

As Missa sat in the grass, fully entranced by a ghost story in a way she never would've been at home, Missa hoped Jimmy did pack up and leave this place some day. And that he would take her with him when he did.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Ahahahaha, I lied to you all! I intended to post this tomorrow, but I'm stoked for a lot of things and want to get this train moving, dammit! Next chapter will have mucho Bette and Dot, but I wanted to focus on Meep and Ethel in this one, as well as the intro for Esmeralda. <strong>_

_**Just as a side-note, Edward is gonna get so much love in this story. Sooooo much, you guys because I think I like him more than Ethel at this point (my favorite character) so I'm going to give him lots and lots of time because yeah shameless favorite!**_

_**Slowly but surely I will get all of you crazy of Billie Holiday! To help fuel the fire, check out 'All of Me', her version of course. Beautiful, beautiful song that might pop up soon because ugh Missa's fascination with 30's music is creepy and manipulative.**_

_**Anyway, have an awesome day you guys! I'll see you soon!**_


	16. Chapter Sixteen: Sing Anyway

_**Chapter Sixteen: Sing Anyway**_

Jimmy and Esmeralda had left too close to the curfew, Missa thought. It was already getting dark, and it hadn't even struck eight! In a way, she was worried about them, both of them. Jimmy was strong and could handle a couple of cops if they started to push him around, but Missa wondered what the little blonde would do if it came to blows.

Missa shuddered to think. Esmeralda looked waif-like if nothing else, similar to her is size and stature. Not very imposing, but Missa hoped she'd be able to charm her way out of a bad situation.

_A situation Jimmy put them in. _She growled to herself, taking a sip of water. Outside her tent was cold and the grass was wet, but there wasn't much to do at that hour without Jimmy. Part of her hated how he liked to be around him so much. Another part just wished he was here. But no, he was with Esmeralda, and it was getting harder to pretend she was happy for him.

Missa had to remind herself that just because he was making doe-eyes at a pretty face didn't mean he had to marry her now. No, quite the opposite, Missa would imagine. In truth, she'd never been exposed to love that wasn't unconditional, and almost all of it had come from books and movies.

Then again, she supposed _that_ wasn't true either. Lily didn't love her husband as much as Missa thought if she'd agreed to go to the basement. Her father, for most of her life, told her about how much he loved his ex-wife, and how he hated her for leaving his daughter. Of course, Missa soon found she was dead beneath the basement floorboards.

For the second time, Missa shuddered, wondering why the hell she always thought about such terrible things when alone. Taking a few steps forward, she noticed the light coming from one of the smaller rehearsal tents. Deciding it would be worth the investigation in exchange for some company, she walked towards it.

Bette and dot stood on a stage decorated for Halloween. Pumpkins carved in a way that was too menacing for her childhood household sat at the edge, with cobwebs strung about in abundance. Missa's steps rung out on the hard wood floor beneath her feet, alerting the sisters who stood on stage to her presence.

Missa couldn't help but beam when she saw them. They'd been so closed-off lately, so unapproachable. Dot seemed angry about something, while Bette appeared forlorn. She brightened, however, when she saw Missa walk in.

"Hey there, strangers." Missa said, sliding into a front-row seat. She crossed one leg over she other and smiled up at them. Dot did not smile back, but Bette did.

"We've been busy with the act." The more stoic of the two said, her voice not defensive so much as rude. Bette nudged her and glared, but Dot pretended not to notice.

"As well you should be." Missa agreed. "You two stirred things up quite a bit." Her smiled faded and she couldn't help but be proud as she looked up at the girls. "I think you two sounded beautiful, by the way."

"Thank you." Came Dot's clipped, little reply. Bette's smile was not as dreamy and carefree as Missa remembered. It twisted her stomach.

"I remember, two months ago, you almost looked like you wanted to run off the stage." Missa joked, pointing to Dot in a non-threatening way. "And you looked as captivated as the audience!" Bette looked to her feet, a sheepish smile on her face. "You look like you belong now," Missa admitted, "_both _of you." Try as she might, Missa could never bring herself to play favorites. One needed the other in a way she had never understood before.

"I feel like I belong." Dot said, still sounding too aloof for Missa's taste. Not sure what else to say, she nodded.

"What do you think of Miss Esmeralda?" Missa asked, knowing the twins had met her earlier. Dot scoffed and Bette glared hard at her sister again.

"If I'd known they'd take any cheap floozy in off the street, I wouldn't have agreed to the hiring terms so easily." Dot said. Missa frowned, unsure how they could tell Esmeralda was loose just by a first meeting.

"That's a bit harsh but-" Dot cut her off, shaking her head.

"Did you _see _how she kept making eyes at Jimmy? Disgusting." Missa shrugged. Yes, she'd been _all _too aware about the looks cast between them.

"He's handsome." She admitted, her voice a bit meeker than she intended. At that, Dot scoffed even louder.

"That may very well be, but it's unprofessional." Missa had to agree with that. As much as she'd come to realize she liked Jimmy, they worked together, it would only complicate things if she told him. Esmeralda's arrival hushed her even further as it were.

"I think she's alright." Bette said. "You always judge so quickly." She mumbled to her sister as an after-thought. Dot didn't seem to appreciate that nugget of truth very much.

Before she could fire back a quip with Dot's patent serrated edge, Eve, Paul and Ma Petite entered. All three looked as uneasy as one could get, but not the twins.

"You're twenty minutes late." Dot said, her voice cold. Eve looked cautious as she walked towards the stage.

"We decided it's a bad idea." She said. "You never know what could summon Mister Mordrake. Even a rehearsal is risky business" Dot scoffed.

"You carnies are so superstitious." She spat. Missa glared at her, but she either didn't notice or didn't care.

"I don't think you should rehearse either." Missa piped up, but her input was ignored by the collective.

"He's a myth." Dot said, her voice firm. While Missa wanted to agree with her, the details of Ethel's story were convincing at the very least.

As much as Missa wanted to think rationally about the entire business involving ghosts, she wondered if there was something more beyond life. Was there really a special place in hell for souls abducted by a madman and the demon on the back of his head?

Missa shushed herself, thinking that _she _was the one going mad if she believed any of it. Still, it seemed wrong to preform anyway. What harm would it do to postpone rehearsal for one night? It was better to be safe than sorry, in her opinion.

The woman decided to leave when Elsa sashayed in. Clad in a gaudy dress and feather boa, Missa did not want to listen to her sing again. As strange and beautiful as her songs were, her voice left little to be desired. Slowly but surely, it had grated on Missa's ears before finally driving her away.

Rolling her eyes and standing, Missa clenched her hands into fists when she heard the way Elsa spoke to Bette and Dot behind her. Her well-being was at risk as well should she turn and snap at the ring leader of the troupe. Still, she felt guilty.

Missa waited outside the tent for Bette and Dot as Eve and Paul were commanded to their instruments on stage. The first notes of the song were haunting and bittersweet, Elsa's crooning, however, was not. Grimacing, Missa tried to tune out her voice.

_In the land of gods and monsters, I think I'd still be me. _Missa thought, smiling to herself. It had gotten even darker, if that were possible, and Missa almost missed Bette and Dot as they came out of the tent.

"Wait." Missa said, walking towards them. Out of habit, she grasped Bette's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You know if Elsa ever ditches you in the swamp, I'll go find you, right?" She asked. Even in the pitch black, she saw Bette smile.

"She wouldn't do that." Bette replied.

"We're her headliners. She can pretend all she wants that we don't matter, but that's not about to change." Missa knew dot was right. Elsa, all of her self-centered narcissism was temporarily blinded by their talent. The show would sink without them, it was simple fact.

"Still, I don't like how she talks to you." Dot didn't seem worried at all by their mistreatment.

"She'll get what's comin' to her." She assured Missa. Bette untangled her hand from the woman's as the two walked towards their tent, leaving Missa alone.

The walk back to her tent was surprisingly uneventful. The dark grass seemed to blend with the inky horizon, fusing the sky and the land in one black mass. The wind was cold and harsh, pulling her skirt and mussing her hair.

Missa hadn't bothered to look nice tonight. Every year before she'd done her hair and worn something nicer for when the children came trick-or-treating. A large part of her missed the old box where all her costumes were kept since she was little.

Even if she was too big to fit into any of them, she'd often pair an accessory or two with her dress, if only to buy into the Halloween spirit a bit more. Some children went as the same thing year after year, but Missa could never settle on one thing. A princess one year, a ballerina the next, it was all very generic to her. She did remember going as a nurse when she was seven, however. Something about pretending to help people made that night special.

She smiled at the memory as she let herself in, heading immediately to her radio. The night was frigid and still, which only made Missa more anxious about spending it alone. Billie Holiday was, as ever, good company and her voice soon filled the room.

Missa stood back, walking towards her dresser and fluffing her hair with her fingers. She spun around with practiced steps as she tried to dance her chill away. She'd always liked dancing more than singing, and had wanted to be a ballerina before she realized her lack of natural talent was a handicap.

Any talent Missa had for dance had to be earned through practice. She doubted she would have been able to take a step without breaking her ankle if she hadn't gone to classes every Saturday. At home, she would use her stair rail as an impromptu ballet barre while her father refused to turn the attic into a dancing studio.

His library was up there, and while Missa did want it to be switched to something more relevant to her interests at the time, she was glad her papa held firm in that respect. Most of her teenage years were spent there, reading works of fiction exclusively.

Every novel Missa had ever read involving gypsies always had one who went by the name of Esmeralda. In particular she remembered a very thick book written exclusively in French. Her papa understood it, but Missa never bothered to interpret what they were saying. When she became curious of it, her father simply showed her an old movie about it.

It had no color, but it still had more life than Missa had ever seen. While she'd never been fond of movies with darker themes, she enjoyed The Hunchback of Notre Dame more than she thought she would.

_I wonder if our new fortune-teller has seen it too. _Missa thought with a grin that was anything but kind as she put her arm around an imaginary shoulder, and her hand in an invisible one. Slowly, she stepped back and forth with her make-believe partner.

"_You took the part, that once was my heart. So why not take all of-" _Missa dropped her arms and whipped around. That chill in the air returned tenfold. Against her better judgment, fear creeping into her blood, staining it blue and cold.

Miss moved away from her door, fluffing her hair and humming. She liked how her shoes sounded on the new wood floor of her tent, but her feet hurt more than she could say. Sitting down on her bed, she tugged them off, yawning.

It soon turned to a blood-curdling scream when she looked up.

In her doorway, clad almost exclusively in black, was a man. Green smoke billowed around his feet, and his clothing and hair looked to be from a different time. His eyes could not have been human. They were blue, yes, a shade of which Missa hoped never to see again, but they were also like glass. Dead and lifeless eyes were set into his otherwise calm face, making him seem disjointed and incomplete.

"My God." Missa mumbled, raising her hand to cover her mouth so she did not scream again. "I'm sorry." Her voice was so soft she barely heard herself, but it was late, and she was tired.

She did feel guilty for screaming, especially now that she recognized him.

"You're him, aren't you?" She asked. In response, the man nodded.

"We were expected?" He asked and Missa shook her head.

"No, but the irony is... palpable." Her throat felt tight, and she ignored the inquisitive look she received from Edward Mordrake. Rather than asking for clarification, he simply made to remove the top hat on his head.

Missa flinched, but did not close her eyes when she saw his evil face. It was just as dead as his eyes, but the sneer on its lips was alive and horrendous. It was terrible to look at, with a hollow gaze that could still pierce, and tight skin that was pale as a candle.

"Turn around." She said. "Please, I don't much care to look at..." Missa wasn't certain it _could _be gendered, and did not want to offend him. The man seemed to find her request reasonable, and returned his hat to his head before facing her again.

"We have been summoned." He said, making Missa's mouth fall open. His use of plural pronouns did not register to him as she remembered what she had been singing a few moments earlier

"Did I-" She cut herself off, her hear suddenly beating far too quickly. Had her terrible butchering of one of her favorite songs spelled her demise? Missa found she could not be calmed, even when he raised his hand and shook the kinder-looking of his faces.

"We were not summoned by you." He confirmed and Missa breathe a sigh of relief. If she had doomed her friends this way, she was certain she would never recover. "Nor are you our first visit. That would be to Mrs. Darling." Missa heaved another sigh, glad that she had not been taken.

"If you're here, that means you spared her. Thank you." The tone in her voice was soft and as genuine as she could make it through her fear. For she was afraid, so very afraid. If the man noticed, he said nothing in return.

"I did not make that choice." He said. Missa flinched in the memory of what was on the back of his head and nodded. As mad as the man was, he wasn't wrong. He answered only to it, that made it a threat.

"Still, I'm glad she gets to stay. Jimmy needs her." He looked confused and Missa sighed. "Jimmy's another performer. You'll meet him-" she stopped herself. "Well, I _hope _you meet him. And I don't." Missa decided against begging for his life just yet. If Mordrake took her to hell, she wouldn't have to worry.

"You have my apologies for the intrusion, especially at this time of night. However there are questions-" Missa cut him off, nodding.

"And you need answers." The man closed his mouth, undaunted by her bluntness. Missa sighed, walking towards him and gesturing to her chair beside her sofa. As fascinated as she was by him, she would not sit on the same piece of furniture.

He sat and she sank into her couch. Inwardly, Missa sighed, terrified out of her mind. She was sitting across from Edward Mordrake, proving that Eve, Paul and Ethel had been right. Missa looked up at him, he head tilting to the side a bit as she bit her lip.

"Curious." She muttered. "You appear solid for a..." Missa trialed off, struggling to find a word.

"Specter?" He supplied and she nodded.

"You're not going to tell me why?" Missa asked, hoping to buy herself some time. Edward shook his head.

"I am afraid that it is time for _you _to provide answers, not I." Missa sighed again, this time a bit more audibly. She wanted him to leave so she could return to singing. She didn't do so very well, but it was always a comfort.

"Shoot." Missa replied, surprised by how stable her voice sounded. She doubted her face was anything but as the true weight of the situation sunk in.

_I could die tonight. _She thought. _I could just stop. Stop breathing, stop singing, stop being. _It left her momentarily unable to speak as she closed her eyes, taking a few shuddering breaths to prove to herself that she wasn't dead already.

"Your past is of relative comfort." He said, making Missa nod. "Your present, however, is dark. Someone wrong you. Revenge in on your mind quite often, despite how little you think of it." Missa floundered for a moment. He was supposed to be asking her questions, not telling her things she already knew! "How do you plan to deliver justice?"

Missa swallowed, thinking about her life and how all of it had been ruined so quickly.

"I want my papa dead." She began, "but I sometimes wish I _had _been the one to kill my mama."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Hey hey hey, gorgeous guys and dolls! <strong>_

_**While I do recommend everyone go watch the '23 silent movie the Hunchback of Notre Dame, do what the people in the '50's could not and go find a copy of the original novel 'Notre Dame de Paris' because it's a classic for a reason. **_

_**Other than that, we're almost through with the episode! For goodness sake, I thought I had more to work with than this! Either way, let me know what you think and I'll see you guys soon with another update! Have an awesome day!**_


	17. Chapter Seventeen: Do Unto Others

_**Chapter Seventeen: Do Unto Others**_

"She abandoned me and my father." Missa said. "At least, I think she did. Recent events have made it... difficult to believe him." Sighing, she slouched in her seat and tried to ignore the pensive look on his face. When he spoke, he did so quietly, as if he did not want to startle her.

"Why is he not to be trusted?" Edward asked and Missa bit her lip. It was obvious the man already knew why, he was only asking her for the sake of being polite. Giving him a hard look, Missa did not answer him right away.

"You already know why." She said, her voice not as gentle as his.

"_It _does, yes." He admitted. "But what it shares with me is varied. If you are the one it intends to claim, would you care to be killed now or to instead delay the inevitable?" Missa shuddered, her eyes falling to the floor. She hadn't thought of that, she supposed.

"My papa always wanted me to have a proper education. After high school, I had no interest in returning to any sort of university, but he was adamant that I enroll. The night before I did, I sat in the audience of this very show. Instead of conforming to his wishes, I chose to come and spend my days here, like a patron." That day seemed so long ago that it almost made the smile on her face at the memory falter.

"And now you fully belong to the show?" Edward asked. Missa also shuddered again at his wording. She supposed he was right, however. There was no where else she could hide, she was bound to the freak show until she could clear her name.

"Yes." Missa said, nodding. "My papa followed me what I think was every day, but he only told me this after he found my sweater in Jimmy's trailer." Missa did not remember her time in cuffs fondly, nor the brief period she was out of them in her kitchen as well. Edward looked like he wanted to comment, but Missa cut him off with a look. "He is my friend, nothing more." She told him, voice like steel. Edward nodded, but Missa found the glare he fixed her with to be unsettling at best.

"A reminder that honesty is a virtue." Edward said, making Missa furrow her brow. She _had _been honest thus far! Rolling her eyes, she refused to argue with him while he was evaluating her soul.

"He flew into a rage and blamed me for murdering my mother. I can't be certain, but there's no doubt in my mind that _he _was the one who did it." His expression changed from interested to sympathetic, something Missa had not expected.

"Betrayal from the family is unpleasant at best." Edward told her. Missa nodded before cocking her head to the side.

"You'd know all about that, huh?" She asked, remembering a particularly gruesome part of Ethel's story. "It must have been awful for you." Missa added, her voice quiet.

"Yes." While short, his reply spoke volumes, most of them saying _drop it. _In respect to his wishes, as he'd been only kind thus far, she obliged.

"Sorry." She mumbled. "I packed my things and left my home behind. I wrecked my car somewhere in the woods, hence this ugly thing," Missa gestured to her cheek. The cut would, as she'd been informed, scar when it was finished healing. Her heart sank upon learning that, knowing she'd have a visual reminder of the chaos. "So I won't forget it for the rest of my life. After that, I went back to the show. Elsa took me in and now I spice up Dell's act." Again Missa was struck by the need to explain. "I don't think you know Dell either. I hope you _do _get to meet him, you can drag him to hell and I won't make any fuss." She smiled, but Edward did not seem to find it funny.

"There is nothing freakish about you?" Missa shook her head.

"Nope, all normal. But I don't mind, I just feel a bit left out sometimes, like everyone expects me to wake up one morning and care that they don't have legs or their hands are strange." Missa scoffed. "As if. They're the only ones who've been half-way decent to me thus far. My father's a goddamn liar and I still take his word as gospel.

"I want her to be alive so that _I _can kill her, Mister Mordrake." Missa said. "I want to hurt her for not being there, even if it wasn't her fault. I want to know why she left, and if anything papa said was true. Either way, I want him dead too." Missa took a breath, realizing she sounded like a maniac. Biting her lip to keep from apologizing again, she waited for her heart rate to return to normal.

"You have never acted upon your darker wishes? You have never killed?" Missa nodded, her eyes widening.

"No. No, oh my God, never." She insisted. Edward nodded, but paused, tilting his head to the side as if listening to someone. "Is it talking to you?" Missa asked, pulling him from his brief trance. "What did it say?"

"It tells me your darkest thoughts are even more recent. There is someone here you envy, and they've already stolen from you." Missa closed her eyes, exhaling to keep from exploding.

"I don't envy Esmeralda." She said. "I don't envy her. I don't." Missa repeated as if trying to convince herself. "She went out with Jimmy and if he likes her, very well, _I don't care._" She sounded like she barely believed herself, and that Edward did not at all.

"There must be more to it than that, otherwise it would not have brought it to my attention." Missa sighed, suddenly hungry for a smoke. She could use a drag to uncoil all the springy tension in her shoulders, but it felt wrong to stand in the middle of what appeared to be an interview.

"She's been here all of five minutes and Jimmy's fawning over her. It just makes me a bit upset, is all." Missa admitted. "Never mind that she can barely stand to touch him anyway, she _looks _like everyone here scares her half to death." She huffed, casting a dark look at the door as if the woman was standing there.

"You have never been afraid of the freaks?" Edward asked and Missa shrugged.

"Not of Jimmy." She said. "Maybe Bette and Dot, but I got to know 'em and they're lovely girls. But no, I was never afraid of him." Sitting forward, a nostalgic smile lit up her face. "You know something? I held his hand the first time we met and it was so warm and human that I thought to myself, 'God, I never want to let go of him.' Stupid, isn't it?"

Sitting back again, Missa had to wonder why she'd just said that. She'd not even admitted to herself the reason why she so often held Jimmy's hand when she needed comfort, Missa just hoped it comforted him too.

"So it makes me mad when I see some little girl trying and failing to do what I've been trying to do with more success and less effort." Biting her lip, Missa wished she could have stayed quiet. "It's like he knows I like him as much as I do, and yet he doesn't want to say anything about it. Like he hopes I'll go away, well I'm not gonna."

Pausing again, Missa ran a hand through her hair. If she was going to go to hell tonight, she might as well leave with a relatively clear conscience.

"I've been good to him, I've been kind. I don't ask the wrong questions and I don't fuss over him when he makes bad decisions. I like him more than I thought I ever would and yet it's lead to a grand total of _nothing_. If someone doesn't want you back, I guess it's not a crime, but it still hurts.

"But I start to wonder, what's the point? What's the point of being good if he's blind to it? And then I wonder if maybe he should go with her instead. I wouldn't mind if he left now and never came back, if it meant I could forget about him. It's been more than two months, I think my heart is dead."

Missa clasped her hands together so tight she was worried she'd leave indentations in her skin. Now that Edward Mordrake good and thoroughly believed she was insane, she was ready for him to take her soul.

"Is that enough crazy for you?" She asked. "Or do you want me to give my opinion on the education given to women?" Her smile was humorless, and it faltered when Edward did not echo it.

"Your frustration is understandable." He said. "I am sorry for his ignorance." Missa shrugged again, otherwise uncertain how to respond.

"Thank you, I suppose." She said. "But it doesn't matter now. I've said everything I need to, you can literally take me to hell now, if you want." Missa looked away from him, unsure what he would do to get her soul. Part of her cowered, hoping that he would not make it hurt too much, another part of her was happy to be leaving.

"I think not." He said and Missa looked up again. She was surprised to find that Edward was gone.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Baby chapter because I wanted this convo to stand on its own! I've also run out of content and will be staring at the wall until Wednesday. <em>**

**_Don't worry though, friends, because someone asked me to write a fic specifically centered around dear Edward. I have a plot as well as a leading lady I'm getting kind of attached to already! So I guess my question is, would anyone read it if I typed it up?_**

**_Have an awesome day guys and dolls! I'll see you Thursday maybe!_**

**_**_Update: My Edward-centric fic is up! Go read, friends!_**_**


	18. Not a legit update but I am alive

_**Not a legit update just making sure y'all know I am still among the living**_

_**No you guys, you don't have to drag Misty Day out of hell, because I'm very much alive. That said, Missa is not. I know what I want to do for the second part of the Halloween episode but am concerned about friction between Missa and Maggie. **_

_**I don't want Missa to be that girl who dominates the popular male character because that's not what this was trying to accomplish. I'm going to update hopefully by the end of next week, I'm sorry I let this sit so long!**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Update: Yes, I'm aware it's past the week, but I'm putting this story on hiatus! <strong>_

_**I love writing this story, and I lOVE the feedback (except for that weird guest review. What exactly does Missamarysue mean? Please explain.) and so it won't be forever! Just while I collect my thoughts and try to figure out where the show's plot is going!**_

_**I have everything figured out, thanks to my genuinely helpful readers extending a hand to help me out!**_


	19. Chapter Eighteen: If I Stay

_**Chapter Eighteen: If I Stay**_

Missa stood alone in her tent for what felt like hours. Her mind, however, was anything but as it seemed almost to buzz with her sudden thoughts.

Has she truly just admitted to ghost her feelings for Jimmy? Was she truly so envious of Esmeralda? She heaved a shuddering breath and moved towards the door. It shook her to the core, startling her out of her death-like stillness.

She walked towards the entrance tugging on her shoes and feeling a bit like a robot from how shocked she still was. Despite how much she said she would be better off without Jimmy, she knew she had to find him. It was late and dark, well past the curfew but worth it if she located him before Mordrake did.

Part of her wondered if he would even go looking for him, but either way she knew she had to. If he was in jail for something so insignificant as staying out past eight... she was certain she could scream.

As she walked to the parking lot, fishing the keys out of the bag she had grabbed from her sofa, she paused to look at Meep's resting place. Paul said he couldn't stand it being unmarked and sunk a plank of wood into the soft earth. Her stomach clenched upon remembering the way the poor man had died.

She looked out to the road ahead. The outskirts of town awaited and all Missa could worry about was where Jimmy was within.

Jimmy's car hummed under her hands. The steering wheel was not familiar to her as she backed out of the drive, but supposed that she should be thankful Jimmy lent her his keys in the first place. He'd been so obsessed with his bike for the last week that he hardly ever drove the four-wheeler any more, not that she was complaining about that. He finally had an excuse to wear his biker mitts and she got a vehicle out of it.

Missa had no idea where she was driving in the first place, but followed the road towards the gas station where Jimmy said he was taking Esmeralda. She'd never mentioned just _who _she needed to call, but it certainly made Missa curious.

In fact, everything about the blonde woman put her on edge. How she'd managed to infiltrate Elsa's show with hardly any effort spoke volumes about her so-called 'talent'. Missa didn't believe in any of that mystic garbage, and she was certain Elsa didn't either. The German woman had a good, if slightly self-centered head on her shoulders, she was not one who was easily fooled.

But Esmeralda was here and a part of the show. How, exactly, had she gotten past the ringleader if she was a fake? It made Missa grit her teeth in frustration. She was up to something, she had to be if she looked like everyone here made her sick. Obviously she'd never been employed in a show before if Esme could barely keep her breakfast down, so why did she choose _now_?

Mentally screaming about psychic conspiracy left poor Missa with a headache as she took a left and wished the headlights were a bit brighter. It was so hard to see the road this late at night, and she had to strain her eyes in case she missed any tire tracks.

Where could they have gone? Jimmy was gentlemanly enough, so Missa doubted it was to a hotel. Had the murderer got them? Missa shivered as she tried to forget what she saw in the paper. She'd been so out of it for an entire week that she'd nearly missed the headlines about the missing girl. It later became missing _boy _and girl as a child a few years younger was kidnapped as well.

Shaking just slightly at the thought of Jimmy with knife-wounds in his stomach, she pushed _that _out of her mind as well. They were alright, they were going to be just fine.

Unless they weren't.

Missa slammed on the breaks as a squirrel darted in front of her. She would be damned if she killed an animal, even if the sudden stop did throw her for a loop. Her chest was crushed against the steering wheel as she let out a muffled holler. Removing her foot from the brake, she stuck her head out the window, looking to see if it was okay.

She heard the creature chatter as it disappeared into the woods, leaving little claw marks in the dirt. Missa frowned as she put her hazards on, getting out of the car. It seemed as though the squirrel had run right through a single tire track made in the dust. A track that led right into the forest.

Biting her lip, Missa looked over her shoulder at the road.

_They wouldn't. _She told herself, shaking her head. _I mean, they could've, if they needed to get out of sight... _

Her stomach tightened as she looked back to the black expanse of the woods in front of her. Sighing, she left the car where it was and decided she would take her chances.

How she wished she'd worn something sensible, as bare feet would've been a better alternative than her kitten heels. She hissed in pain as she fell to one knee, her foot having been caught under a root. Gripping the rough bark of a nearby tree, she stood and continued her trek.

Was she anywhere near right in assuming they'd come this way? She hoped so as she crossed her arms over her chest. For a Florida night, it was absolutely _freezing. _To top it off, her neck was getting numb as well. She sighed as she remembered her long hair.

_How could Jimmy do this? _

She asked herself as her stomach twisted with worry. He said he'd be back, that she had nothing to worry about. It dawned on her that with him, there would _always _be something to worry about.

Gritting her teeth, she pressed on.

Would calling him name do any good? She doubted it, but it couldn't hurt. Her voice echoed in the dark, getting lost in the trees. How long had she been walking, she'd forgotten her watch.

Where was that damn boy and the little blonde? Missa was nearly growling at any passing shadow, daring a prowler to jump her. She was so angry she knew they wouldn't stand a chance. In fact, just _thinking _about punching Jimmy square in the jaw on sight when she found him made her relax a little bit.

_If _she found him. Missa let out a gasp as she looked around. If she didn't, who was going to find _her_?

That's when she started to scream, and all the pain melted away.

The pain in her feet, the pain in her back, the pain from Jimmy's hands gripping a _little _too tight around her waist. Everything she'd confessed to Mordrake, every smile she spared to that ridiculous boy with a smile that made her eyes go fuzzy.

Louder and louder she became until she couldn't tell if the woods were hollering back at her.

_I hate him! _

Was what she _meant _to shriek into the night, but it was so garbled she could barely tell one word from the next.

When she was done, for better or for worse, Missa was empty. Collapsing against a tree, she noticed a faint, warm light out of the corner of her eye, and the sound of heavy footsteps drawing closer.

* * *

><p>"Mhm?" Missa mumbled as she was roused from her insanity-induced slumber. Just what the hell has happened to her? She remembered yelling at the top of her lungs like a woman possessed, but the rest went black.<p>

It wasn't the only thing that was black. Looking down at her arms, Missa grimaced at the bruises lacing up her arm. She hadn't sat down, she hadn't fallen asleep on purpose. She'd lost her balance and knocked herself out, goodie.

Righting herself, she staggered before gritting her teeth and kicking her shoes off. They could die and go to hell for all she cared. Picking them up, the hazy memory of firelight tickled her brain. That's right, there had been a light source nearby before she succumbed to unconsciousness.

On the faint autumn wind, the smell of a dying fire reached her nose. It brought back a wave of nostalgia she had not expected. Camping with her father by the lake when she just a child, and the more recent memory of burning toast threatened to bring tears to her eyes.

Missa wondered what was happening to her. Boys were making her cry, ghosts were walking around and being very polite, and now she was nearly in tears over burt-black bread.

She was going mad, and it was his fault. Groaning, she picked up her feet and headed in the direction of the fire.

It had long since gone dead, with the ashes swirling in the air and making her cough. Her lungs froze and she stopped breathing completely when she realized that the fire wasn't the only dead thing. Lying on its back in the dirt was the haze of orange and gray she saw running about in the woods near the field.

Stumbling backwards a foot or so from the corpse, she dropped her shoes as she sank to the grown. She did not scream, for she was still not quite ready to to that for some time, but she did begin to cry. Actually, sobbing was likely a better term, and she buried her face into her scraped-up hands.

"Hey! Get away from it!" She looked up. In her horror, she'd barely noticed the ramshackle trailer. The door was hanging open, supported only by its quickly failing hinges. Had the dead body lived in that pigsty? It certainly seemed like it.

Missa finally did scream when something grabbed her from behind. She struggled against arms around her waist but couldn't stop herself from being pulled to her feet.

"Get the hell away, Missa!" She stopped dead in her tracks, she knew that voice. Missa barely realized she'd squeezed her eyes shut, and nearly began to cry again when she opened them. Standing there, arms around her waist was Jimmy, faded black eyes and all.

"You." She said, her voice cracking in either relief or blind rage. She couldn't tell the difference, and she doubted he could either. "You!" Missa spoke again. She threw her arms around his neck, intending to strangle him but ended up hugging him instead. "You insufferable bastard." She mumbled into his chest. "Where the hell were you? Why are you here?"

"I could ask you the same thing." She didn't have to look up, the moron was _smiling_.

"I came looking for _you!_" Missa nearly shouted again. That wiped the smirk off his face, it was replaced by stony understanding.

"You didn't have to do that." He replied, Missa rolled her eyes.

"Like hell I didn't." She snapped, but did not release her grip from around his neck.

"I can take care of myself!" It seemed he was on the verge of a breakdown too, but Missa wasn't about to have it.

"Of course, of course! Wake up! We're standing in the middle of a campground and there is a dead body-" She didn't get to finish her argument. Tears were rolling down her cheeks again and she let out a wail. She'd never seen a corpse before, not once in her life. Defeated for the moment, she collapsed against Jimmy, sobbing freely into his shirt.

She give him proper shit when she calmed down, but in her frenzied state, she noticed how warm he was. A detail that would've passed her by at any other time, she also noticed that it was somewhat ruined by her cold tears.

"I thought you were dead." Missa said, but he didn't seem to hear her. "Where's Esmeralda? And _why _is there a dead clown over there?" A look flashed in his eyes that she couldn't decipher, and she allowed him to lead her to the wooden bench furthest from the scene.

She sat down, glad to be off shaking legs. She'd released her grip and had instead focused it on his arm. Miss snaked her's through his, making herself comfortable against his side. He froze, as if only just then realizing how close she was. Her pale, free hand patted his thigh.

"Stop that." She muttered. "Tell me _everything_." And he did, but most of it was a lie.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Just a short little chapter, but for some reason, I've decided to come back to this story. I appreciate the words of encouragement so much from my darling reviewers, and regard the rather pushy, not-so-nice reviews with mild disdain. <strong>_

_**Nevertheless, I have returned. I'm shocked at the direction the show is taking to be honest, and wanted to let it play out for a bit so I could decide my next move. Sadly, I lost interest quickly. Whether I'll follow the show or do my own thing is anyone's guess at this point, but I'm confident in my OC and her relationship with Jimmy now. Thank you all!**_


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